Exclusion - breach of confidentiality?

[schoolangst]

Ds has SEN and been permanently excluded for reasons relating to his disability so we will be appealing. Some of ds's friends have now said that a TA who was involved in the incident has been saying that ds punched her in the face which is totally untrue. We haven't even been advised of the disciplinary hearing date yet or seen copies of her statement. The children will obviously tell others and parents will get to hear of it so poor ds will be classed as some kind of violent thug and he has enough social difficulties as it is. Is there anything we can do about this? I thought exclusions should be treated in strict confidence to avoid issues like this.

Are you able to look up 'Parent Partnership' groups in your area for support or a particular local support group for your DSs type of disability?

If you want to take a strong line you could point out to the school that the TA appears to be slandering your son and that they (the school) may be liable. The TA is protected by privilege when making such allegations as part of a disciplinary process but not if she makes them to other pupils.

Are you quite sure that your sons friends are being entirely honest?

I'd look at finding out whether the TA has actually said these things, and it's not just a case of chinese whispers.

Parents hearing things like this from children are likely to take the whole thing with a pinch of salt.

Update. We did not get the chance to appeal as the statement was quickly amended and the exclusion has now been withdrawn. This is all very well but what about all the rumours going around town about ds and the distress caused? We have also had harassment on our doorstep because of this.
I now have written evidence from a social network site of a pupil stating that ds was excluded for 'slapping a teacher' and when ds asked about it said that 'all the teachers' were talking about it. He also went on to name several of the staff that have spoken about it.
Any suggestions of what we can do now? We are incredibly angry and upset about this.

I would complain to the social networking site about the post concerned, telling them that it is libellous. They should remove it. As far as the school is concerned it is a question of whether it is best to just let things die down naturally or kick up a fuss. If you want to do something I would start by talking to the head teacher. At the very least he/she should make sure the staff are not talking to pupils about any alleged incident.

Screen shot the remarks on the social network site and then contact the head teacher. Don't mention the screen shot, just at first ask about the schools stance on pupil confidentiality. Armed with that, then say well staff members whoever have been talking about my ds outside of classroom, around pupils, and its staff that weren't involved in the incidence. If they deny and say oh but our staff wouldn't produce the screen shot.

Pupils have confidentiality in school. If staff must talk about specific incidents, it cannot be in earshot of students. It cannot be gossip. Depending on schools it can be gross misconduct which is instant dismissal, as per my own contract.

I already have a complaint ongoing with the council so have e-mailed several LA staff about this. We have had a lot of instances of inappropriate remarks made by various staff members to ds which have been denied by the school too so this just proves what they're like really

How old is your DS, schoolangst?

You've had harassment on your doorstep, really?! What happened, who said what and why? Had you or your DS directly offended them in some other way (not saying that was your fault, just trying to understand what would motivate someone to say something).

DS got a temporary exclusion for kicking a TA and almost no one has ever said a word to me about it; I even work (vaguely) with the TA who got kicked.

I think you are getting caught up in a game of Chinese whispers, OP. Nothing good will come of it.

What you have is "written evidence" that a pupil said something. That's all, I really wouldn't automatically believe it. Not even if hundreds of the students said it. They are awful gossips you know and they don't filter out nonsense the way adults do. There will be a right way and a wrong way to handle this and a social networking site will not be part of it.

Yes, tread carefully here.

If the social network screen shot shows a teacher saying something, fair enough. If it's a child, even if the child names the teacher that they heard it from, it is not really evidence. All it shows is a game of Chinese whispers.

Also, if your son did not react violently to a TA, it looks like this may have been gossip rather than a TA telling anyone why he was excluded - because people don't know why he was excluded.

You may need to raise this as something the school needs to help fix, rather than going in all guns blazing with no evidence.

It's also important to consider that it tends to be better to let these things die down, or you risk restarting the gossip and making things worse.

The school alleged that he 'assaulted' a member of staff but we were prepared to appeal as his behaviour is due to his disability and without going into too much detail they had already admitted that they couldn't meet his needs. He also suffers from acute anxiety so having various children all say the same thing and naming various staff members (including head of years) has caused him massive distress. The doorstep incident is bullying really but we've also had things shouted out in the street about it.
The incident does not seem to be dying down at all as it happened before Christmas and we thought that after the break it would all be forgotten about.

Is it children on the doorstep and in the street? TBH children will talk about (and in some cases reject) things they see that are outside their norms. I'm not saying it's excusable, just understandable. In the same way that your DS hitting a TA is not excusable, but understandable. From what you have said on previous threads your DS's behaviour has probably been pretty extreme in school and that will draw attention.

TBH I would just let it go and hope your SS make a better go of meeting your DS's needs. Is he going somewhere used to very challenging behaviour?

How do you know for sure he didn't hit the TA? I'd be very wary of challenging this unless you have good evidence.

I think the point is that he did hit the TA but the OP feels that this eventuality occured because the school had failed to manage an incident in a way that met her DS's needs.

OK, so he did assault the TA?

How could the school have managed things differently to prevent him from assaulting someone?

In all seriousness, how can a mainstream busy school meet the needs of a violent child? What do you suggest? Because if you have any ideas, I'm sure positive suggestions will work a lot better towards easing the situation than meaningless complaints.

You started by saying the TA alleged he punched her in the face which was totally untrue. Your latest post seems to imply that he did assault the TA in some way but this is in some way due to his disability and the school's failure to manage it. Which is it?

If he did assault the TA that changes things somewhat. The comment on a social networking site is accurate but out of date in that the exclusion has been withdrawn. You could still complain to the site and see if they will remove the comment but it not clear the comment is libellous. And if your son assaulted a TA I am not particularly surprised it is being talked about by pupils and staff, particularly if the incident was seen by others. You can still try talking to the head teacher but that may not achieve very much.

In a thread on SN OP says her DS tried to take something from a TA and she wouldn't let him have it and they 'grappled'. So a physical incident but not deliberately targeted violence on the part of the DS which 'punch in the face' emotively suggests.

The DC just needs to be in a place with staff trained to deal with this stuff.

Oh I see. In that case, I suppose it depends on what the item was. There's never any need for 'grappling' with pupils, but when it's something dangerous that they shouldn't have, or a personal item, phone, wallet etc. that has been taken, it happens easily, regardless of who the child or staff member is.

I'm struggling to see how the school can be expected to stop children from gossiping. There were people there, so the story will be out.