concentration in a 4 year old

[maggiems]

back from a parent/teacher interview about my twin boys aged 4, youngest in the class although quite a few young boys in the class. DS1 is doing really well and has settled down a lot, having been described as having a low concentration span in October. Ds2 however is still struggling in this respect and the teacher says he needs lots and lots of encouragement to complete tasks. he is doing well at reading and maths, even ahead of DS1 in knowing more words and letters but he is very impulsive and has to be reminded to do lots of stuff. i get the feeling that him and another child are the most unfocussed in the class. Anyone out there with a child who was like this in reception but picked up and didnt turn out to have ADHD. Am panicking big time

Have a look at a book by Jean Robb and Hilary Letts I think it's called creating children who can concentrate, we are luck enough to have them living locally and our daughter has come on leaps and bounds since being tutored by them, the book is very good.

Maggie, DO NOT PANIC!!!!!!

Remember, they are FOUR.

The concentration will come with time. As many threads on education on MN say, in most other countries in the world your lovely boys wouldn't even be at school, wouldn't be learning letters or numbers, till they were 6 years old or so......

And I'm sure that there are many children in their year who are finding it hard too. Parents always seem to come away with the impression that their child is the only one struggling with that particular thing, which just won't be the case.

I'd not even let this be a worry to you till at LEAST year 1. Is the teacher laid bck about it or do you feel pressure from them - because you shouldn't.

I had a really worrying Primary 1 report for my DD, who couldn't concentrate for longer than 5 minutes. She's always been a bit of a dreamer, but this particular teacher had me panicking, because she was so concerned that my daughter spent the whole day playing with her hair and gym shoes that she would be left behind.

Well, a year later, the same girl (still a bit of a dreamer) can concentrate just fine, and is well above average. I'd give it a year or 2 - they are only 4. Plenty of time yet

Thanks for your replies. No, the teacher wasn’t making a big deal about it but she did say she was a bit concerned and she hoped that the skills would come and the lack of them was down to him being so young. Its hard to hear when DS1 is doing so well. In previous nursery school interviews and an early primary school interview, both boys were mostly at the same level so this is the first time that someone has actually said that DS1 was more mature and could concentrate more , something I know anyway but still hard to hear. She said both boys were keeping up but then put in a bit of a caveat where she said DS2 is when he wants to. He is quite impulsive and doesn’t always think about what he’s doing. Also, despite the fact that he doing quite well at his words and numbers I think I have been teaching him more at home than he is learning at school because he just doesn’t take in a lot at school and operates better on a one to one. However he is definitely improving and at least now will concentrate on something like lego for a long time, something he would not have done in the past. Also I have been giving him little tasks , like matching numbers, copying some sentences etc and saying I am going into the kitchen and call me when you have finished . DS1 is no help as he cannot bear to have any attention directed to DS2 and constantly interferes with what he is trying to do despite him having had his turn . He will do this now, something he wouldn’t have been bothered to do until recently. Both boys were premature by a month so if they had been born in the right month they wouldn’t be going to school until next year. Thanks again, any more thoughts or replies would be appreciated

This is one of my biggest bugbears so I'll try not to turn it into a rant! It is not natural to expect four year old boys to sit quietly, concentrate for long periods of time or to do most of the things that our schools seem to expect. The system sucks, there is nothing wrong with your son. On a more practical note, my understanding is that most LEAs will accept prematurity as the one reason why a Summer born child could delay starting school for a year. Obviously too late now, but if you feel it appropriate you might be able to negotiate that the boys repeat a year at some stage. This obviously has major implications on friendships etc. but I have always wished that I was able to do this with my summer born DS1 who struggled all through primary school with his lack of concentration.

Thank you sunnydelight. I am in Northern ireland where it is very difficult to get permission to hold a child back and I dont think prematurity is an allowable reason. However I think I will look into it anyway just in case.ou mentioned that your DS struggled with concentration in primary school. Is he ok now? i know its early days for my DS but my gut feeling is that this could be an issue for quite some time although I'm maybe being pessimistic

At age 4 there is a huge difference in one year group between the oldest and the youngest. Perhaps the teacher is not making enough allowance for age, and DS1 may be a little more mature. Don't worry, stop panicking, give him time.

maggiems

I was in exactly your position. My twin boys started school in reception 2 weeks after their 4th birthday and would have been starting a year later if born on time!

DS2 slotted in fine and he is a very laid back personality. DS1 is a bitof a whirlwind, fidgets, runs everywhere in the house, seems to lack emotional maturity (is top of his class academically though). he is the one who will be irritating people with his constant questionning but not realising when to stop.

In reception this was tolerated by the teacher and he did mature a bit.

Now they are in yr1 and have been split for the first time. DS1 didnlt like it, he missed DS2 and misbehaved. We thought all things, the school panicked me into thinking he had aspergers,behavioural problems etc. They called in behaviour support and he is slowly maturing.

I think it'sjust him. He is annoying at times. There are times I wish he would shut up, but it's just him and one day he will grow out of it (I hope).

Behaviour support said there is nothing wrong with him. Lots of sticker charts worked a treat.

I learnt I needed to chill and not let myself get wound up about it. It's a social and school thing. He'sjust a little boy and sometimes too much is expected of them.

mo3b

Children don't start here until 5 - so there are lots of unfocused 4 year olds that are not being worried about here! Probably the best thing IMO.

New entrant teachers say that some children just come back for their second year (age 6 - legal age you have to have started them by) and they are just ready for school and it all clicks. They wish the kindies would keep them until they are ready rather than starting them on their 5th birthdays.

So chill.