So Eton, everything I expected and more

[JoanBias]

My DS is at a private school, so I have experience of private schooling, but my word Eton was like another world.

Not just the school, but the people there.

There was one prep school being shown around, all in tweed jackets, and to a boy the spitting image of Draco Malfoy (well there was one Chinese boy, but otherwise....).

One of the mothers doing the tour was not quite right in some respect, I'm not sure how but something wasn't wired up correctly or something. She was immacuately dressed, 6-inch heels (pretty daft considering the confirmation letter warns about having a long walk), but she was just bizarre. The admissions tutor said 'we have a waiting list of 80 boys and typically 35% of these will make it through', and she asked afterwards 'so 80% of the boys from the waiting list make it through?', and it was then explained again, but you could kind of hear the cogs going round and she clearly didn't get it. She had asked several other similar questions; e.g., it was explained that some Houses are catering and others go to a central cafeteria, so she then asked 'so they all eat in the cafeteria'? She pointed at the Fives Court and asked me 'what do they play here?' I said 'Fives' 'Is it squash?', she said. 'No, Eton Fives.' 'So is it squash?' It seemed as if this woman had had the benefit of the 'Finishing School for the Terminally Dim', because she was otherwise every inch the presentable upper middle-class wife.

Another family had a son who looked the prototypical pre-Etonian, and sure enough Daddy spent the tour braying on about his House when he had been there.

The facilities were extremely impressive, although they didn't bother to show us any of the academic parts, and basically the impression was 'if your son is incredibly pushy and self-motivated, send him here and we will teach him to be entitled'. They said 'every year we reject about a third of the highest performers on the test', essentially because they aren't pushy enough. (The House Mistresses seemed quite nice though.)

Fantastic training for future managing directors and whatever, but not for us.....

Well worth it to sign up for a tour, very illuminating. They take about 100 a day from what I can see, so obligation at all....

rabbit that is true I think.

DH and I can be very hard on ourselves. We have high expectations of ourselves. We both push ourselves quite hard and nver rest on our laurels.

Fortunately we are able to point this out to one another and laugh .

@noddy Not necessarily.

@yellow The secret to a happy life is clearly marmite.

@yellow and supporting a football team which is not the one I support too, it would seem. :(

Same here mordion.

Our team seem to be bringing us misery on purpose this season. There can be no other explanation...

I am very sorry but marmite is banned. Not paleo/primal.

Sunshine is fascinating. For years we have said never let one inch of skin be exposed to sun and yet now we find Vit D does not really get into you properly except through sun, tablets don't really do it. So 20 minutes in the sun in the summer after lunch when sun hottest in the UK without any sunscreen may be a route to happiness and health. Don't of course burn.

What really interests me is that how we were for 2 million years we seem to be finding is what suits us best which is logical of course. We were adapted for all that time for that.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-17488002

Xenia does know a lot about what she is writing here, but her information may well be a few years out of date.
Lifestyle changes can help contribute to better mental health in conjunction with everything else.
[Xenia though, most people on here do know what you do, so I wouldnt keep saying that you havent said it]

The fact they all seem to conclude that the same diet (ie that which we followed for 2 million years)... seems to solve... MS
Do you not think Xenia that if a cure could be found for MS by changing your diet then all those people suffering from this absolutely dreadful condition would change to this wonderful diet especially as IME most are educated and middle class and well read and as it costs the NHS millions especially in long term care if the cure was a simple as changing your diet don't you think that every neurologist in the UK would be recommending it!

@happy I don't know anything about MS. I do know however that recent research which indicates that VLC diets cure type 2 diabetes (research in which a close family member participated - said family member now having been showing as not diabetic on all tests run over the course of the last 18 months) - is still being pooh-poohed by members of the medical establishment and competitor diabetes specialists. This leads me to suspect that the fact that medical opinion is not uniform doesn't necessarily mean that something is correct or incorrect.

Yes rabbit I know. It's like very brilliant people who think they're quite dim. In fact there's a Sardinian family where eight or nine siblings have an average age in excess of 90 yrs and they do bolster the idea that sunshine and fresh veg and keeping active helps keep them going (the 89 yr old still works in a bar).

Bad luck about the football team Mordion. I wonder which shortens life expectancy more: supporting the wrong one (you) or not being a supporter at all (me)?

Living in N. London would shorten my life expectancy more than anything else.

Marmite....work of the devil.

I think Xenia is right on the diet and lifestyle, the only thing we might agree on. I think the sun is good and children are now turning up with rickets because their parents have insufficient Vit D and keep themselves and their children covered in sun. I have never worn sun cream and I have never burnt, neither have the children. people are far too hysterical about sunlight.

Anyway having tackled our own diet and mental happiness, what should the Op do with her son?

Type 2 diabetes as every health care professional will tell you has long been associated with obesity and diets high in sugars etc. All type 2 diabetics told to bring their weight to within normal limits and eat healthy balanced diets exercise etc those who succeed may then reduce their need and even cease to need medication including insulin. Many many years ago in another life I was a "member of the medical establishment" working in the countries leading diabetic hospital with one of the worlds most respected diabetologists and that was the advise that was given although not necessarily taken on board to all type 2 diabetics.
The budget for diabetes including many if its life threatening complication makes the budget for treating MS pale in comparison. If there was an easy and lets not forget cheap solution to managing it you can rest assured that the NHS and all those diabetologists GP's diabetic nurse would be absolutely delighted but in the UK treatment is only instigated when properly conducted research has shown it too be beneficial.

Mordion "@happy I don't know anything about MS." you said it not me I in contrast know a lot about MS hence I made the comment above!

@yellow I support the right team. For they are by far the greatest team the world has ever seen. Just not, you know, on the pitch. Or when considering results. But in the memory? Definitely.

North London is fine. Looking a bit grey right now over that way but at least it is home to god's own footy team (also the devil's own, sadly. You can't have everything). I will be able to report in more detail on Thursday when I go to the game. Our own (former) patch was particularly lovely on Friday when I was there swapping an arm and a leg for a new flute for DD1. Except for the fact that they are turning the Swan and Sugar Loaf into a Tesco metro. Which is an outrage.

"Teaching them to be entitled"

It doesn?t ? it is very much hammered home how fortunate the boys are to go there

that's why it's such a bad thing to say to children "you're so lucky to have x/be in y". It teaches them a sense that they are permanently different from the have-nots, the "unluckies". If their lives go smoothly, it just makes them unpleasant; if their lives don't go smoothly, it makes it harder for them to deal with life's unpleasanter aspects because they do the whole "things like this don't happen to people like me" thing (as though your lucky/unlucky status was something that never changes - like your race).

To test this: how do you feel if a child visits your house and says "we're lucky, we have more cars/alternative objects than you". Do you think "what a well brought-up child?" No, you do not. You think "brat". And you are right.

Congratulations on your DD's engagement Xenia! By a series of strange coincidences, I've just realised we used to work together in RL and you were extremely kind to me when I was a novice in the field - about 14 years ago though feels like a lifetime!

I remember visiting friend's homes when I was a child and being very shocked how some people lived and how their children had so little. I was spoilt, an only child and my family didn't have any money worries. ( I don't want to say too much about that) because I feel now as I felt then embarrassed. My parents neither impressed upon me how fortunate or how lucky I was. I would agree though that having taken things for granted and having a very easy childhood doesn't set you up with the skills to cope with adversity.

I took my Y12 and Y11 boys to Durham last week in an attempt to enthuse them and achieved admirably thanks to a surprise appearance on the university sports field by the Sunderland team. And some Very Big Name coach. Y12 DS was nearly sick with excitement - he'd been a bit grumpy about spending the best part of two days in a car. These teams evidently have their uses.

Mini, your parents brought you up in circumstances where you visited friends who had very little and you had to deal with the differences in wealth and figure out what you could and couldn't say to keep the friendships going.

sounds to me like they did a good job.

But then lingle what does one say to ones absurdly advantaged DC?

It's not like they've done anyhting to deserve their privilege, at least not yet.

(ws, thanks and good luck with whatever you are doing now
And thanks to those congratulating me re. daughter. After all the nasty things which incidentally happen as much to the well off as poor like deaths we have had in the last few years a wedding is nice news.

On diet (sorry Eton people we are big off thread even by my standards on this thread... but it's interesting off topic)... happyg is right about diabetes. Read Sugar Nation - a good read on the topic. In fact today's Times has a piece about diabetes and it does not once mention that if the patients changed their diet they could stop having - the problem is that although many doctors know that so very very few patients are able to make themselves change how they eat that doctors know there is not much point.

On MS - similar diet recommendation etc which is certainly not something I have either but all these diet conclusions are linked and suggest ni effect the same diet for us all do look at Dr Wahl's videos on youtube anyone with it or interested in it.

I thought diabetes being caused by bad diet was well-known.

I think I would struggle in the US not to be a bucket of lard tbh, all these free refills of your drink, driving everywhere, giant portions, and so on.

I used to live in the Mojave Desert. It was a fabulously healthy life. People thought I was a bit mad walking everywhere wheeling babies about in blazing 40 degree sun, but it can be done (I did eat Hogs and Dogs Macadamia Nut Brittle rather a lot, but it was a dollar a tub, so too good to miss and I'm sure it's very healthy in its way to eat some of what's just nice too).

Xena I haven't sat in a diabetic clinic for many years but I can assure you that when I did every type 2 diabetic (and of course type 1) was told about the importance of loosing weight and eating a healthy diet high in fibre and low in sugar and fat. As you said whether people choose to take this information on board is another matter.
The current up to date research on MS and diets states "Some people feel specialist diets make a difference to how they feel, perhaps by reducing relapse rate or improving their overall quality of life; others don?t feel this way. At the moment, there isn?t any conclusive evidence to suggest they are effective." There is currently no cure for this dreadful disease all "treatment" is aimed at reducing relapses and aiding recovery following relapses.

For the sake of my professional competence I just want to correct what I said Type 1s were not routinely told the importance of loosing weight because they are usually not over weight!

@happy take a look at the newcastle research on type 2 and VLC diets. I have a close family relative who has been part of the very low calorie trial. The conclusions aren't based on feeling better they are based on the patients having their test results showing normal levels once again.

I'm not a doctor but I know the controversy this is causing since my family is involved. That's all. And that was the point I was making. I didn't pretend to be an expert on that or any other medical matter.