Parents with kids in senior indie school (who are not millionaires!!)

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Did you go for the cheaper indie's or go for broke with the best in the area? I'm awake as I'm going over the choices in my head and they won't stop moving....barely, barely afford or most definitely go over savings and then some?

We've saved, have been given some money (my parents), both work (damn hard), extremely cheap holidays, terrible car etc etc and now have the choice of a really good/great school or decent school for dc1 in 18 months time. All 3 dc are at a fabulous prep now and we're vaguely covering the fees. Dc2 and 3 have better options as we can get reduced fees for them at a great school (not possible for Dc1 as single sex) Dc1 is the one who could bankrupt us fairly effectively.....Did you afford for the yr 9-11 and then do college for 6th form (good ones near to us) What worked for you, didn't work for you....did you go for bursaries, did you get them? We earn a decent bit between us, although nothing near the amount needed for full fees for 2, never mind 3.

Please no comments about state v indie.....the story of why we went down this route is far too long to write!!

I'll send you a DM. It's very complicated.

Op,

We had offers from the school that I personally believe is one of the best for the very able, and what is a second tier school. The first is a boarding school. On the straight academic side, indeed I would say educationally, it wins hands down. But it wasn't right for Ds at that point. I still mourn, and sometimes think.the second tier school is just a school with smaller class sizes. But actually he has SN and ishoos and would be bullied more than he is, and the school is pretty good at facing up to the issue.

Our lesson was that whatever I wanted was as nothing to what was right for Ds.

So, I would say, at which school would your dc thrive more and if the more expensive will the additional financial burden cause unhappiness or resentment to you and your family? The latter is important too. My family was perpetually on the point of penury because of school fees and it wasn't fun.

Many thanks all - really interesting comments (and no worries about the hijack!

I've had some time to talk it through with dh again and we're going to try various avenues to get the right places for the kids...the joys of having 3 of them with very different skills. Still no obvious choice but we've agreed that we're not going to pay a fortune on ds and hence risk the dd's not having their share - it's good to have made one! (a decision that is!)

thewhistler....sorry - meant to say that your post rang true for us also...not sure if the top tier are actually what ds needs as previous experience has shown that he thrives academically and socially with a rather more nurturing environment...whether that will still ring true as a stroppy teenager though, who knows!

What I have learned re my DC is that they have very different needs so have ended up on different pathways. The whole thing has progressed very differently from what we imagined when they were little. In Melbourne so slightly different context, but similar issues.
We are happily making a huge effort to send them to very good private schools - have cars that are older than they are etc etc and have always explained to them that at school they will meet a range of people from super-rich to families like us who are stretched.
I think it is a question of thinking about what each child needs and which institution can provide it. Have a really open mind about what that might be. Most expensive is not always best for your child.