Son Poo-ing at school

[quofan]

Hi all, Im not sure if this is the right place to post this, but here goes. Ds1 is terrified of doing a poo. He will be 5 in may and still has a nappy on to catch the poo. I have tried for 31/2 years to get him on the loo, but he is terrified of the actual act of pooing and also the loo. Yesterday he went for a checkup with renal dept at RVI and they said maybe his lack of pooing was causing the kidney pain in his back. He was given laxative and now he is worried he will poo at school. Can I ask school to ring me if he gets distressed - he hates school enough as it is without the embarrassment of pooing himself there too. I only live 2 mins away so it would be no problem to go and help him. Are they obliged in any way to cater for children with these difficulties? He is so shy about his bodily functions he even wet his pants because another boy would not leave the toilet when Ds1 needed to go. I am not a very forthright person, so tend to shy away from confrontation, but school does not seem to be interesten in accommodating my sons needs. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

hi,

my dd is currently takign movical to clear her bowel of feacal impaction. last week she did several poos in her pants, some of them at school. the teachers have been fab. I have sent in spare clothes and wet wipes and they have cleaned her up each time.

I have bought her some pull ups this week to catch any more accidents and they have agreed to this in school. I have kept them fully informed of her problems though even before she began her treatment - she used to do a poo every 8 days!

She is 5 next month. Not sur eit is quite the same - she used to hold her poos in becasue they hurt - so sort of frightened to do them.

I'd give the day off, it won't hurt for once. Then he can relax and "do" it in his own time. Does it normally hurt when he poos - is that why he is scared? Maybe the laxtative will make it easier and start to solve the fear problem, and thst will be easier on his own territory.
Then I would talk to the school and make sure they take the problem seriously. Lots of kids hate school loos, btw.

Lots of sympathy for you Quo on this one - our DD has had similar issues. She has Downs Syndrome and seemed unable to control her poo tho dry. She eventually got diagnosed with extreme constipation (which in her case resulted in 'leakage' hence her inability to get to the loo on time) and we were prescribed Movicol (sp?) over a couple of weekends and then Lactulose daily. Our experience with the Movicol was it 'hit' a few days after she took it - I remember nervously leaving her at a party one weekend but the explosion came in the week. So that may be an issue for you - maybe wait for the Easter hols.

School were brilliant but of course our circs are different - we have a learning Support Asst for DD and this was an (admittedly ugly) part of the job. But in your case I would arrange a time to talk to the teacher, have your prescription or appointment letter to show that the medical profession are taking the issue very seriously and then show you're are being flexible - eg offering to go in to help him.

Then to solve the issue long term, we did a couple of sessions of the Movicol, and then with Lactulose adjusted the dose by trial and error. We then 'trained' DD to poo every night after her younger bro goes to bed - with the aid of bribery I am unashamed to say - she is a child who responds very well to routine and we have stuck to this for nearly 2 years now, and this (school) year we have only had a couple of accidents at school.

Do you have any idea why he is so scared of pooing? I think it is quite common - hopefully someone with experience of the same problem will be along soon. Good luck

Ta for all replies. DS was terrible constipated as a baby about 12months. It hurt so much he began to withold and suffered leakage as a result. He was given a strong laxitive and lactulose then, but started refusing the laxative, so we have just stumbled on since then till things have come to a head. He is very shy about performing bodily functions, and has held on to the fear of having a poo. He has some other behavioural issues too, ie, not liking crowds, hates school, likes to take the same route from a to b, does not like hugs from anyone else but me, will not have hair cut/washed/brushed/ toe nails cut and does not like people or things taken out of context. The list goes on, but I have been told that this is perfectly normal and I should have parenting classes (having brought up 2 perfectly well before him). I have tried everything I can think of to get him to go on the loo, but it just seems too much for him. I don't know, but I have a feeling school will not be helpful with this, as they are not very accommodating with other issues.