Problem with amount of sport on the timetable

[ItsRainingOutside]

My DD has just had her first day at her new senior school. She is a very tall and muscular girl who has never enjoyed sport with a high intensity of running requiring stamina. She loves all water sports and athletics which don't involve running (hammer throw, discus etc). She was on the netball team at her primary school and really liked it.

There are 6 hours of games/PE on the timetable and she had her first experience of hockey today which she hated as the teacher criticised her lack of ability in it (she's never actually played before). She's been told they have cross country on Monday and she is living in fear. She's very upset.

The girls have also been told they will play for a team of some description and will be expected to train on a Saturday morning when DD already has rowing club. Saturday school isn't compulsary unless you're on a sports team.

I really don't know whether to raise the problem with her tutor now or wait and see what happens and hope she learns to like the sport more?

Is it private or state?

I think she will have to grin and bear the PE during curriculum hours however, I would imaging you could negotiate her out of being in a school team and Satuurday training if you want to, especially if it is so she can participate in an out of school sport.

At school I did a sport that was not on the school's radar (think ice skating type sports) at Junior national team level. I did most of the school PE in the lower years however, my mum wrote me a note if I was injured or had a niggle so I didn't make it worse at school. She also made them excuse me from games in the week before any big competition (like nationals) when I was supposed to be resting. I was never on a school team because I didn't have time for matches.

By the time I was in Y11 the school allowed me to do training that was relevant to my sport during school PE time (sport required a lot of flexibility so I mostly stretched). It really helped me to have those hours in the week to tick off some training. It was a private school though, so they had more freedom to decide what I did or didn't do.

6hrs of sport seems normal (I went to a state school), two.blocks of three hours we had (which included time for changing).

It is a shame that her first experience of pe.at that school wasnt a good one, but sadly I dont think general PE lessons can be tailored that much to individual preference so she will have to do sport that she dislikes when it is the term for it.

Also,wrt to the teams, they will do what they can to encourage the students to join a team, but remember the school is going to want a decent team to win competitions so if she is crap at hockey then they wont expect her to be on the team. Also, they may well have a netball, hockey, football, rugby and swimming teams but not all the students will actually fit into the teams - there simply wont be enough places.

Gold, sadly 6hrs is not the norm in state schools. My DC would be so - they get 2hrs I think, plus an extra hour and a half for being g+t at sport. And after-school clubs, I guess.

OP, hopefully it will get better. My goddaughter is tall and muscular and not a runner. Her athletics sports are shotput and discus, but a while into Y7, she found that she is great at hockey (and tennis too) and plays for a teams both in and out of school. Maybe your DD will find the same once she gets used to the rules, etc?

Was the teacher actually unfair, or simply pointing out that she does indeed lack ability?

It might be in your DD's wider interests to persist, a least to the level of competency, to learn about progress through practice and the need to overcome preference to deal with a required task.

She won't be playing hockey for all 6 weekly hours, will she?

Its a private school. 4 hours out of the 6 involve playing hockey plus any additional training time out of curriculum hours.

When we went for the interview with the headmaster, she said she didn't like running (it isn't as much that she doesn't like it, her physical make up makes it very difficult for her) and he said she should just enjoy the recreational aspects of the sports but he was sure they would find something for her that she could concentrate on.

I'm not sure about the attitude of the PE teacher and whether he was being a bully, trying to be funny or is simply bad at motivating children. I will keep an eye on that.

She's extremely sensitive and made an off the cuff comment that if she fell down stairs and broke her leg, she wouldn't need to play. That's very worrying for me indeed.

Can you not get it over to ther that she does not have to be 'good' at it, just work to the best of her own ability and if that does'nt suit others then tough. I am a sports coach and always encourage my participants to do THEIR best, and not be concerned with the ability of others.

As a tall, muscular girl she may well find that she is well suited to - Volleyball,
Netball (goal defence/shooter), bowling at cricket etc as well as her throwing.

Its good to hear from a sports coach mollymole as I really don't know what makes a PE teacher tick other than extremely able sporty kids who are going to make them look good in the results tables.

I'm going to encourage her to just try her best and keep an eye on the attitude of the teacher. I'll speak to him if necessary. Perhaps she's being overly sensitive as mentally she has already convinced herself she's going to be bad at it and can't overcome those thoughts.

She may not be physically suited to running but surely there are health benefits that will be derived from it. I say this as someone who is also unsuited to running but who does it purely for fitness.

The beauty of private schools is that they tend to do so much sport, 6 hours a week is average compared to 2 hours in state schools. I cant believe you have only just discovered that your dd is required to participate. There tends to be a number of teams so presumably your dd will be in the bottom one, playing with and against those of a similar ability.

For goodness sake, stop indulging such dramatics, as others have said, there are health benefits for doing so much sport as well as forging team spirit, representing the school, playing away matches etc. Are you going to allow your dd to give up at the first hurdle because 'running doesnt suit her'. What rubbish, stop allowing her to be so wimpish.

Trifle

Trifle I find your comments condescending and unnecessary. She's not being dramatic and I'm not indulging her. I asked the original question because the attitude of the teacher seems to be bullying rather than encouraging. Of course I know the health benefits of sport that's why she swims, rows, surfs, plays netball and owns/rides a horse. I also attended school myself (!) and know it's necessary to just get on with it - I haven't just "discovered" she needs to participate but I had hoped for a little more encouragement rather than being bullied. I bet you're a PE teacher.

Again, I reiterate that the beauty of private schools is that they tend to attract teachers who have achieved a high level in their sport. At ds's school their sports teachers vary from a gold medal judo player, a county cricket player, an ex professional rugby player, a commonwealth medalist etc so when it comes to sport, they are competitive, want to win, know their stuff and want the children to achieve the best of their ability. It is their duty to ensure that happens, you might call it bullying, they probably see it as toughening her up.

I imagine they find it frustrating that your daughter appears so lacklustre and wet. If all pupils have to be in a team of some level then she is going to have to participate whether she likes it or not.

This is a shame on two counts - the way your daughter has been made to feel and the expectation that sport revolves around the school.

My DS is off to secondary school next week and sadly his football team from last year was disbanded because many of the boys head off to the private sector where Saturday school sport is expected.

Keep with the rowing however !

Trifle...are you deliberately trying to be rude....incredibly offensive comments!

OP - you need to talk to the School soon - it may just be a misunderstanding, although the one thing which I do agree with Trifle about is that in Indie schools, the expectation is that sport is very much part of the school day and your dd won't be able to opt out of sports which involve running. They should however be supportive and helpful and especially mindful that your dd may not have done certain sports before. HTHs

I think I'd let her get a few more weeks into school, before you contact her tutor. It may be, that with dd being nervous and excited all at the same time for her new school she misunderstood exactly what the teacher was saying.

I'm not suggesting that your DD is lying about what the teacher said, but I think we all know that youngsters have a habit of only hearing what they want to hear!

Stick with it, for just a couple of weeks, then speak to the tutor if it's not getting any better.

It's a shame you didn't have a rowing school near enough.

I was a swimmer and a rower and hated anything involving a ball. I did have to deal with it though, in the more junior years at least. She'll survive.

I don't think it is fair to judge after only one day.

Why is she living in fear of cross country on monday?

I think you'll find that the main sports change each term, and most schools state on their websites what the main sports are.

I would discuss NOW the possible problem of saturday mornings clashing with rowing club. Several of ds's friends are on course for national level sports, and they are allowed out of school matches for national/distict competitions, but not training sessions. Every school is different though of course.

I think you are being a bit harsh on the school tbh.

She needs to learn the art of doing 'just enough' to get by unnoticed. It's an important skill for the non sporty amongst us. :o

Going to senior school means that there is a lot outside of your comfort zone. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

They won't be playing hockey all year, and will work their way through the different skills.

If she didn't like her French lessons, would you intervene and say that she'd be happy with German instead?

When you send them to senior school, you let go a little big more and encourage them to suck it up.

I think you need more information. If you could get hold of the programme events for the whole year your dd might be encouraged that she only has to do cross country and hockey for a few weeks before changing to swimming and netball for example. That might make it more bearable. She won't be the only one who hates x country and, if she's anything like me, she'll find a mate and just use the time for a nice chat at walking pace!

It sounds to me like the PE teacher is trying to make an impression. You need to bear in mind that though your dd is well behaved there may be others who aren't or who won't be 6 months down the line. It makes a teacher's life easier if they get a reputation for being strict on the first day! I appreciate though that this isn't very nice for your dd. But then teachers like this may never realize the impact their attitude is having.

Give it a couple of weeks, try and get the whole year programme and if things are no better go in and speak to the form teacher.

Agree that you should leave it for now and just encourage her to have a go and then find out what sports are in the coming terms. One thing I would say is that a good private school should be able to provide for children of all ability. My DD not sporty at all, but she plays netball "for fun"- in the "non-team" group but also does aerobics/swimming and circuits instead of hockey and competitive netball. These options only appeared when she was older though.

Oh dear, it's a bit early to start complaining, especially as no one forced this choice of school.

If the DD has other Saturday committments, then that is a point of negotiation, not complaint.

Funnily enough, school and parents should really be on the same side.