Favouritism

[figroll]

I have just read a thread about a child being left out of a maths challenge. It read so much like my dds school and I wondered how other people have found favouritism in schools. My dds primary school has many mums who are dinner ladies, help in school or on the pta. Their children have found their way into nativity plays as Mary, Joseph, or representing the school on the local radio. They have also been consistenly picked for netball and football team matches, despite not being the best players.

We also have a ticket system for plays at the school and they are always sitting in the front row. I don't think I have ever sat close enough to see my kids! Let alone the front row.

Am I being sour grapes in all this? Yes, I know i could help on the pta, but I didn't like the people running it when I went. I could become a dinner lady, but it might interfere with my other job! I just wondered if I was imagining all this, or do you lot out there find the same happening in your schools.

Where I work the children who do the best at auditions get the parts for plays/concerts etc.

Likewise for teams. The only thing is they do get thrown off the team for bad behaviour at school.

However, helpers i school do get reserved seats near the front for concerts. It is a way for the school to say thanks to them for their time I suppose....

Yes it is sour-grapes and I feel the same as you!!
In the last 4 Xmas plays my daughter has been in, she has been a 'musician' (i.e. stuck in a corner where the light doesn't reach so I can't even see her) and one girl in particular has been 'Mary' TWICE and had other big speaking parts the other two times.
My daughter is absolutely desperate to have a speaking part in the next play, so if she gets made a musician again this year I'm going to have a word with her teacher.
Oh and I work at the school!! It does me no favours at all (and that's as it should be IMO).

I said to my daughter that mary is boring all she does is just sit there looking pretty! DD felt much better about being a sheep after i told her that

It isn't fair though, is it! I know that it doesn't really matter and my daughter understands that as she is in year 6 and past caring, to be frank. However, we did have tears a few years ago and it is difficult to explain.

I have to say that the children who are often chosen for the plays are sometimes, not as popular, because the other children can see that they are being selected unfairly. Not a good situation for them.

Anyhow, she goes to secondary in september, and I know it doesn't go on there. I was surprised though that it happened at her primary because my Mum told me about favouritism years ago when I was at school. I couldn't believe that it still went on, but it does!

Actually, I have just come back from school to find that my youngest hasn't been chosen for a sports tournament and (guess what) all the "usuals" have been chosen. She was so upset.

I have had tears all the way home - so we went back and grumbled to the class teacher! Of course, it was too late for this time (and probably for my daughter as she leaves this year), but I really wanted to make my feelings known. I have put up with this for years and years and I "cracked" this afternoon. I even mentioned the "f" word - I mean favouritism!

I don't know if I did right, but I am sick and tired of the disappointment and the showing off from some of the favoured children - oh I must be better than you because I am always chosen for everything! OMG I get so mad!!!

figroll, I rather admire you for having a go on this issue. Any fallout yet?

At my children's school I'm reasonably convinced the sports teams are selected on merit - I'm rather shocked your daughter's school doesn't care a bit more about winning!

My daughter's school loses every match they play! They are always talking about fairness, etc, but I am shocked sometimes about the methods of selection for teams, school council, etc. I worried about the fact that I had been in and complained afterwards, but what the hell - I have waited about 9 years for the pleasure of this particular grumble.

Is this the only school that has this type of favouritism? Last year, when she was in year 5, she could't play in this tournament because only the year 6 children could go. She said then, oh well, I will be able to go next year - and now this.

Still, not much longer and she will be leaving, but it is such a shame that I felt like crying with her.

On the getting front row seats gripe...I have noticed at our school that those who have the time or two people attending always get the best seats because they go in very early and grab them.

By the time I creak in with dt's in tow, we're lucky to stand by the door. This has bugged me for ages as there are always are certain few you justknow are going to be at the front.

Well, went to an assembly recently and all seats taken, no-where to sit, usual suspects sat at the front. The Head then teacher arranged to have an extra row of seats put at the front. You should have seen their faces! HA! For the first time in ages I could actually see!!

Oh that is lovely! I think there would have been a riot at our school - all the dinner ladies and PTA people, classroom assistant and library helpers. They see the children in rehearsal, but they still insist on sitting in the front rows. I find it incredible and can't believe that the headteacher lets it go on, but then, he is a real plonker anyway.