Is ds gifted? and what do I do if he is?

[UnlikelyAmazonian]

He is four. He knows 32 capital cities, has completed nearly all levels on Donkey Kong Country Returns (Wii), has about fifteen imaginary friends which i have to find voices for, has the vocabulary of a scientist ffs, can make a decent victoria sponge (can tell me what to do and work the Kenwood then I put it in the oven), tells good simple jokes, would spend hours on the internet if I let him looking up Skylander characters and planets. I could go on. I can put on a good front of being a Know-All right now but when he's older what the hell will I do. I am hopeless at maths.

he watches dora in spanish on the internet and other programmes in french etc. Its very concering. Sad thing is he has been diagnosed with leukaemia so his education is going to be all over the place for three years. i want him to just enjoy being four but also don't want to let him down plus also we spend loads of time in hospital - where i spend hours making, cutting, sticking, painting etc. while HEis actually on some geek game.

Am a bit meh about whether all the geek stuff is good or not. He loves cooking and we cook a lot together but I do think that when he is older his entire world will be totally tech orientated so he may as well problem-solve via Donkey Kong at this age etc. He does run around in the sprinkler and we are going camping for one night tomorrow. I am going to show him how to light a fire in a tin can. I saw it on a survival programme.

BNot sure what I'm asking actually. Does he sound average four year old? Shall I not bother about him missing school until he is better? I don't want to let him down. His dad was a clever man but ran away so he's not around to advise or help!

He sounds ace, a really smart fun wee chap. tbh, I'd let him do his own thing; if he's into reading and maths then let him do stuff (dd adores bbc bitesize, for example), but he sounds smart and interested, so will likely catch up. I'm not a teacher (yet, anyway - planning on it!) so hope you get proper advice. He does sound lovely, though - hope he's on the mend soon.

He sounds like my average four year olds, but tbh they are all different.

Bright kids with issues can be tricksy, but I'd just let him 'be' for the next few years, especially if you are going to be working through treatment and recovery. Make the most of what he enjoys, and try not to get too worthy about what you 'should' be doing. He's v little, and his interest and ability to catch on will stand him in good stead with missing lessons etc.

(when I say 'my' average four yo, obv, there's no such thing. Dd2's special interest was the human body and muscle groups, rather than capital cities, and she has cerebral palsy, her brother changed interests like the wind, (and still does). concentrate on keeping him happy and engaged, and you won't go far wrong. An interested kid is the most important kind)

mad and hab thanks for responding. I wonder about his issues too - I know he'll have issues. But then all kids have issues I suppose.

And yes, I just let him get on with his own head and life. I'm glad he sounds like a normal four year old. I met a 7 year old in a pub garden last weekend who was playing with ds and god, he seemed like einstein (the 7 year old). I don't have much comparison. A little girl at his pre-school aged four, sang an entire West Edn hit at the Christmas Nativity. how the hell did children get so clever???? I was playing dollies til I was about 13.

I don't want to let him down that's all.

He sounds very smart. My dd is smart but your ds sounds super smart.

Doesn't sound like you've let him down so far! He sounds like a happy, well-loved wee soul. And glueing and sticking is way over-rated. Now just need to convince dd of that.

Oh, I think he's bright. I don't want to I imply that I think he's completely run of the mill - and it will stand him in really good stead whilst you deal with the next few years. But I think that you can catch up on the 'gifted' stuff later, if it seems relevant at that point. At four, with a health concern, it would be v easy to use his apparent cleverness as a tool to distract yourself with... that isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I'd concentrate more on being led by him at this point, I think.

And if he demands you buy up water stones to keep him busy whilst he's hanging around hospitals, then welcome to the club.

Happy camping!

I am sorry about his illness.

If he is very bright he would be best off at a very academic private school at 4 or 5 like habsboys.org.uk/prep/preprep/welcome.php or Manchester Grammar juniors at 7 www.mgs.org/academic-life/junior-section and if he will try for academic schools perhaps on a scholarship if your own income does not cover school fees, then a feeder prep school which is good for getting chidlren in at 7+ might be wise too. State primary schools are not selective and not much good with bright children.

I dunno - I think saving that decision for 7+ would be a better option right now. It depends a lot on how all encompassing his dx and treatment plan is likely to be. I've only known three kids with similar dx, and all of them were essentially out of school for a year. Forking out for a private place would need to be discussed carefully with the school in order to facilitate work being sent home, and I would be asking a lot of questions about how they would deal with that sort of attendance etc.

I know how tricky it was trying to get private schools to show any sort of enthusiasm at the prospect of a child with an issue, however gifted. I suspect wit would be much easier with a historical illness and a bright future to look forward to.

Ok yes, thanks for that - helpful. he's good at leading. I have to reeeeaaaly hold out a long time to make him so something: like I said this morning, go put pants on or I will take xxx off you. He sat on the floor behind me harumphing for FIFTEEN MINUTES. Even i had had enough after five. He eventually got up and went and put his pants on. Then life continues. I constantly have to set boundaries and bargain with him.

But then I let him have five bananas and two Fab lollies in a row. Mayeb am doing this all wrong. Who the hell knows.

He is clearly very, awesomely clever and interested in many things. I can't imagine he will lose that though he has a way to go to regain his health.

Keep doing whatever it it you are doing, and at four he will most probably not miss so much that he couldn't catch up.

I'm sure he will be frightfully nerdy wonderful school boy soon as you know it.

Haberdashers? I wasn't really asking for academic school suggestions, more the 'does this sound clever' thing. I would like us to live on a ranch in texas or a tiny village house on skopelos so he can learn to dive for scallops and use a fish knife/build a pizza oven for a year when he is able, rather than private school. I would have loved to gone to a cathedral school as you get to travel all over the world and sing sacred music. He says he wants to be nocturnal when he grows up.

Like it that you got him to have is fruit before his lollies !

With the academic side - get him tested now so that you have a baseline.

A Gutheri assessment would be suitable, covers six core areas of development, so would look at for example his fine motor skills alongside reading acuity, and results are given for seperate areas, and linked to the year and month he is performing at.
Armed with this you'll see if there are areas that you really don't need to do anything more than your doing now (ie if reading is say three years ahead), and areas that you do want to spend a little of the time he feels well enough between treatments, concentrating on, say if gross motor skills are the lowest score.

Gutheri assments are intensive, can take up to two hours and push the child to failure to determine levels (your son might quite enjoy this) -0 you can pay privately or be referred by HV for children under five.

He sounds gorgeous. Unfortunately kids tend to end up dum once at school. I'd HE your little chap, especially with his health problems. Cook, let him learn what he wants and, where possible, give him a blissful childhood!

At least he wants to grow up... Ds doesn't. He's a very odd child - entirely happy to debate creationism v evolution, but equally happy to explain that he rather thinks children have a much better life than adults in terms of choices. Adulthood has too much in the way of necessity about it.

He sounds a bit like my 3 year old except he has completed loads of levels of Angry Birds, gravitates towards the programmes in Welsh on iplayer and only has one imaginary friend (15?!). Have you got an iPad? If he likes the planets, my DS loves the Solar Walk app and looking at the stars and planets and satellites on it. Sorry about the leukaemia, fingers crossed for a full and quick recovery.

I doubt any HV would refer a child for a "Gutherie test" without a good reason. NHS recourses are exceedingly limited. All children of school age who are ill and unable to attend school are educated by the "hospital school" either the one attached to the ward/hospital your DC is being treated on or you own local hospital if it is nearer. These hospital schools are ofstead inspected teach through to GCSE and publish their results.
The treatment for leukaemia is often unpleasant and children can frequently feel unwell frankly if this was my DC I would be concentrating on getting him through it as painlessly as possible once it's all over he will quickly catch up.

yes happy that's the main thing. getting him through all the months he has ahead of treatment but also not compromising. I was very sick as a child and missed a lot of school (dont think that happens now) but have a gap which wasn't filled in as a result. but I was one of five and my parents didn't have time for the chicken let alone individual children. yes.

message seems to be to let him be and keep cooking. thankyou

We unfortunately know a couple of children with leukaemia and neither of them have missed much school. They were both in and out after the first couple of months treatment and back full time after about 6 months. The local authority also provided them with a tutor who worked with them at home and also supported them at school and neither have fallen behind, one is actually doing better than before she was sick due to the one to one attention. Have you looked into this support for your DS?

Please ignore Xenia when she says that state schools can't deal with very bright children, it is absolute nonsense and will depend entirely on the school. My eldest is exceptionally bright in a class with 4 or 5 extraordinarily bright children and they are catered for very well with many of them moving seamlessly into highly selective schools.