Private schools and behavioural problems

[clare40]

I was wondering if anyone had any experience of this? I have a very lively (possibly ADHD) son about to start. Several people have told me he is just a lively boy, but I have my suspicions something else is going on!

If your child had behavioural trouble - how did the school deal with it? What was their response?

(I'm only looking for people experience - not hearsay!)

Private schools aren't terribly good with children with SEN (tho that's a generalisation - some may be OK). Depends on the school, so it's a "how long is a piece of string" question.

My DS started private school in Y3 with ADHD, but he was medicated at that point. The HT was lovely with him (but unfortunately retired 2 years later to be replaced with a sporty one that did not like him at all) but he did have some really nasty teachers over the years. He had extra help but we had to pay for it.

We went in to ask if he could board for a week and found out at that point they'd been planning to exclude him from the Y6 residential trip - without mentioning it to us in advance. As it turned out the Houseparents were happy to give the boarding a trial and he was absolutely fine. He went away on the Y6 trip and again was absolutely fine. Had we not asked for the boarding who knows what would have happened.

They made him referee for a football match and had to remove him because he took the ball off the others as they "weren't playing properly"

The new HT particularly found it very difficult to relate to any child who wasn't really sporty, and I don't think the other teachers had had any experience of a child who wasn't NT. I don't think he'd have got the place had it not been for the original HT and TBH we wouldn't have wanted it either.

On the upside DS did respond very well to smaller classes, strict routines and traditional teaching (in rows facing the board). He found the traditional primary classroom with all the noise and movement far too distracting.

Ds's prep school treated him as being naughty rather then find a reason for his social difficulties. He'd get told off for everything, even asking children to play (he'd do this several times in case they changed their minds ). I tried to help him as much as I could, but by the time I moved him he'd become paranoid that he was in trouble all the time, and incredibly defensive.
4 years later he's still like this. His last school ignored all of his social difficulties, and all was fine in their eyes. The current school suggested that he was dyspraxic within 2 weeks of him starting, and he's been given a lot of support from his personal tutor (I'm very happy now).

You really need to ask the school in question - as only they can tell you how they will deal with a 'lively' kid.

Be honest with them. After all if they don't want a lively kid, it's not the right school for him.....