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Original poster

How many hours/days do you think a two and a half year old should spend at nursery?

23 replies

Ragtaggle · 11/03/2006 07:27

I only ask because my dd starts nursery in August and I had been hoping that she could do a few half days a week. It turns out that they only do full days so she is going to go two full days a week. In lots of ways this suits me - I have a baby and would really like to take him to classes and things but in other ways it seems like quite a long stretch. I know lots of people have to send their children to nursery because they are working and that's different but am curious to know how many hours other mums have their children in nursery.

OP posts:

harpsichordcarrier · 11/03/2006 07:31

hmmm i wouldn't be happy with a full day to start with. too long imho. too tiring and it would cramp our style too much (I have another dd2, 4 months old)
dd1 goes for two mornings, which is plenty for me and her. I have been offered more sessions but not taking them for the next while.

WickedViperWitch · 11/03/2006 07:38

just because they only offer full days though doesn't mean you have to take them: you could pay for full days but collect her at lunchtime, annoying though it would be to pay for something you're not fully using. So you could start with half days and build it up.

NotQuiteCockney · 11/03/2006 07:41

Our local co-op only does half days, 9:30 to 1:15 these days. So at 2.5, DS2 will probably be doing four days a week at the co-op without me, and one day a week with me (while I work my shift).

I prefer to have my kids nap at home, it seems to work better, anyway.

WickedViperWitch · 11/03/2006 07:42

But if you went for 2 full days, I can't see that it would be a bad thing for her. As you know, dd is full time, 8.30am-5.45pm x 5 days a week and I really do think she's perfectly happy and has a nice time. If I had the choice I think I'd choose to collect her at 3.30, school pick up time, although that does mean you get the arsenic hours of the day and not the really nice bits.

NotQuiteCockney · 11/03/2006 07:44

Two days a week certainly isn't outrageously long, and it's nice to get some time with the baby.

FrannyandZooey · 11/03/2006 07:59

Ragtaggle, although nurseries may have these rules about who goes and when, you are at liberty to pay for the place and then send her whenever you want. So, if you thought full days were too long for her at first you could pick her up after lunch. The place would still be there for you when she got a bit older and was ready for it.

Also, some nurseries are a bit more flexible when they realise you are not happy with what they are offering. My friend just negotiated her dd attending 2 mornings a week instead of the advertised, compulsory 5.

ssd · 11/03/2006 09:22

WVW, what do you mean you don't get the arsenic hours of the day you only get the nice bits?

Your post offended me, kids come with the "arsenic" hours and the "nice" times simultaneously, same as the rest of us.

WickedViperWitch · 11/03/2006 09:38

Oh fgs ssd, how ever in the world could my post be construed as offensive? I'm entitled to post that I think the timings I've talked about constitute 'the arsenic hours' of the day fgs. You don't have to agree but I can't see how on earth it was 'offensive.' I've posted some controversial things in my time but I really don't think that was one of them.

(Ragtaggle is my sister irl btw and I can't imagine for one minute it offended her).

sanchpanch · 11/03/2006 09:50

I have to pay more for only doing half days, i guess its because they would struggle to fill the afternoon place, and many nurseries i put name down for didnt ever contact me cause i only wanted mornings, and they want them in full time, to make there money,

so i pay £100.00 for just mornings where as for another £40.00 she could be there from 8 - 6 !!!!
which i think is way to long, i work till 1.00 so thats when i pick dd up,

MaryP0p1 · 11/03/2006 10:03

Whatever you do don't my advice would be don't put her in for 1 day. It is my opinion that they don't settle so well when they come the on time a week.

Kiss · 11/03/2006 10:15

Quick aside - WvW - I thought your arsenic hours comment was not just very eloquent, it was also very valid, in that when DS1 went to a childminder, I'd not even thought about the timings. It is certainly something you need to consider when setting up childcare arrangements, if you are lucky enough to have some flexibility in your day.

MaryP0p1 · 11/03/2006 10:18

I agree with WVW about arsenic hours. Sorry the last few hours of the day are packed and hassled.

ssd · 11/03/2006 12:31

maybe "offensive" was too strong, the post just sounded like "I could pick my child up earlier but she's crabby and tired then so I leave her in longer so I don't need to put up with it".

Images of tired 2 year old waiting even longer for mummy sprung to my mind.

NotQuiteCockney · 11/03/2006 12:48

Um, but WVW said she would pick up her child at 3:30 if she could, despite the fact it's the arsenic hour!

Very puzzled here.

ssd · 11/03/2006 12:52

okay, I'll bow out.

I've obviously read this all wrong.

sorry to www if this was read wrong.

mumatuks · 11/03/2006 13:08

Hi RedTaggle, I've read your post and my DS1 also goes to nursery 2 full days a week. (partly because I felt he needed something else apart from me, and also because DS2 had arrived and it was time alone for DS2 and myself)
DS2 was 2 years old when he started and he loves it. I know I have been very lucky here and alot children don't want to leave their mummies! However, I would go for it.TBH a full day is what you make it. I dropped DS off a 9am and picked him up at 3.00pm. I found he was getting upset at coming home!! I know pick him up nearer 4.30 / 5.00 and he's still disgruntled!
Go with it by your daughter, a good nursery will let you have all the settling in time with your daughter that she needs.
I hope it works well for you and your DD.
(BTW I'm at home not working just to clarify)

mumatuks · 11/03/2006 13:12

Also meant to say, I chose the days Tuesday and Friday as there was just about equal amount of days between them so it wouldn't be too long a gap between visits.

WickedViperWitch · 11/03/2006 13:14

ssd, I was thinking out loud really, saying that if I had the choice (which I don't, I work ft OTH usually, as does DH, we collect at 5.45pm) and I was in ragtaggle's position I'd pick up at 3 or 3.30 and then I was saying oh but this sort of timing would mean you had them for the arsenic hour (4,5ish imo, depending on what time they wake up/temperament of child/health/sort of day they've had/sort of day you've had, it varies imo) rather than earlier in the day when you might have a nicer time with them, so I guess I was saying then maybe one would want to pick them up earlier and possibly have a nicer time. And I spent 5 years as a SAHM so I have definitely put in my time looking after small children ALL day, arsenic hour included.

I don't have the choice anymore, I have to work and so yes, atm we pick up a tired 2yo at 5.45pm but if we want to eat and have a roof over our heads that's what we have to do. If you want to have the SAHM/WOTHM debate, do start another thread, I'll see you there.

Ragtaggle, sorry for the thread hijack, I didn't really expect this to take the turn it's taken.

rarrie · 11/03/2006 15:24

WVW< I so know where you're coming from there. I used to work 4 days (finishing at 4pm) but found that by the time I picked her up she was tired and grumpy and I'd just get through the rest of the day until she could go to bed. I now work 5 mornings (and plan in the evenings) which is not so good for me, but does mean that I get to see my DD for 6 hours every day and spend quality time with her. We do an activity (softplay / meeting friends/ feeding ducks/ painting) every day now which we never did when I worked a full day, we were both too tired for that before hand!

I can definitely see the benefits for putting your child in for half days even if that means (as it does for me) that it is harder on yourself!

Heathcliffscathy · 11/03/2006 15:35

ssd, what are you on? sounds like you're as pmt as me!!! :o

www, know exactly what you mean re arsenic hours....ds much better in the morning....at this age the run up to teatime can be a nightmare especially when he hasn't had a nap (and he is in the process of dropping his).

ragtaggle....think the idea of paying for full and picking him up when you feel it's right and then building up sounds a good one.

sansouci · 11/03/2006 15:36

My ds is in a crèche 2 full days per week. He goes in at 9am & leaves at 4pm. He loves it. They get naps & do all sorts of fun things like sorting beans, painting, singing, dancing, threading beads, etc. He loves being with the other 2 yr olds. I can tell he's really happy. Next year he's due to start at dd's school, at nursery level. He'll be going every morning, which doesn't suit me at all because of all the driving back & forth. Personally, I would say that full time nursery at that age is too much but unavoidable for some because of work. Two days a week is about right or mornings only. HTH.

Original poster

Ragtaggle · 11/03/2006 20:44

Blimey - posted this then had friends over for the day. I come back and see there has been a fight. Thanks for all the replies - think I will settle her in for half days at first and then work up to the full days (Which will probably be about 10-4 for me)

OP posts:

Sparklemagic · 11/03/2006 21:29

I just want to make a point here that has occurred to me on reading quite a few threads about Nursery care. Lots and lots of people cite the child's reluctance to leave nursery as a sign of how much they love it there when actually I think with children under four it is more about the difficulty of change - specially if a child has been there for a long day. Toddlers find change very hard and also want control, so when they see mum are often reluctant to leave what they are doing because of both these factors.

Not that I'm saying I think people's kids are unhappy because they are obviously the best judge of that. I just this this reluctance stems from other things.

I definitely agree with posters who have said pay for the day but take up the hours your Dd NEEDS. Base it on her needs, don't get ditracted by the financial affairs of the nursery (which is purely and simply what the all day thing is about).

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