DS1 doesn't want to go to school.

[PeachyClair]

Not sure whether to post here or on SN, but would rather get a wide range of views if that's OK so posting on both.

Have a meeting with class teacher at 3.15. DS has been really sad about going to school and complaining that other boys bully him, this was backed up by another child and one Mum witnessed the 'bully' telling DS 'I wish you were dead'.

After collecting DS the other day, we saw a child run past and wave a fist at him. Having had enough, we went straight to the office and spoke to the deputy head (head on sick leave).

She ahs spoken to all the kids involved and is monitoring. We also passed comment that class teacher doesn't inform us about some quite big incidents- eg, a punch that caused a bleeding nose, being kicked, as his friend told us (DS didn't) 'in the wee wee'.

School teacher was watching them when I went in to collect ds2 earlier for an appointment, and collared me saying that in her opinion it's a lot of rough boys pushing, one just happens to be stronger. Not bullying at all.

We have been through this before, the whole ds doesn't want to go says he's being bullied but school says not, at his last school.

DS has AS / HFA and doesn't get social skills at all, also doesn't seem to realise he needs to tell teachers what happens when it happens, he just intermnalises it. Other children tip us off.

Any ideas? DS1 has to be dragged in now and that's sad, he has another year to go in this school (he's 6). Generally an excellent school.

Bully is leaving at end of week, but we invited his friend round and that resulted in total meltdown so DS not liking friend any more.

Peachyclair, It's really sad when this happens to your child. But it sounds like your on the ball and this can get sorted.

I think a note home and this entered into the medical books for a punch in the nose should of happened for a start. This is a phsyical attack and the child in questioned should of had his parents informed. Your child has right to be protected at school under their policies.

I know this is not the done thing but sometimes to speak to parents direct is what's needed. Why should you ds put up with this, no wonder he doesn't want to go to school. I'm afraid some schools don't act quickly enough with bullying. This is how it starts.

Asked the school about the bullying policy and asked why wasn't the parents informed about what had happened. I don't think they have taken this seriously enough. Good luck with meeting. larsxx

thanks lars

the bully also hit ds2 once, almost had stitches, did have a black eye and some temporary scarring.

Friend spoke to one of the aprents. Apaprently boys have a pecking order; his at top, ours at bottom and so be it.

!!!! What can you say?

Peachclair this is awful!

I can't believe the school. My nephew is at secondary school and he was punched in the eye, the child was excluded for a day and parents informed. Sorry Peachyclair, but where is the school's level of care to protect your child. The school can exclude a child when they physically hurt another child on purpose at school. They need to act on this I'm afraid and explain the situation of how the parents see it. Maybe a day's exclusion will make the parents sit up and take note and the child. larsxx

well that child is the one who is leaving but- and this is a suspicion only, no evidence- I think he has been pushed as his brother has SN and they appear to encourage sn kids elsewhere. May be my imagination, but a few poeple have suggested this, including our childminder whose osn has gone to secondary now but has AS too.

I shall post after meeting, thank you.

Goodluck Peachyclair. larsxx

Seen teacher.

They don't think it is bullying, seems to be this kid is big and boisterous and loves hugging and physical stuff. DS is small and reserved and hates to be touched by anyone other than me. basically, all AS stuff then, which unfortunately theya re going to have to learn to manage.

They do share our concerns that ds doesn't want to go to school anymore though, and will be monitoring it on a day to day basis. They also have noticed him doing his growling in school, which is a warning sign of an overload. Apparently another parent has raised that DS growled at him recently, I suspect this was his 'friend' we had over on the play date. .

They are going to check the progress of Ed Psych and OT assessments.

If anyone else has experience of getting reluctant boys into school, SN or not, would be grateful!

Peachy calir just responded on the SN posting.

I'm glad that it's not so bad as you thought.

Growling - hope you don't mind I might start a thread about this as my ds makes different noises and I did wonder why, I thought it was just a ds thing.