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Original poster

Choosing a school. SHouldnt it be a decision made by a grown up and not by me!

74 replies

mrspink27 · 04/03/2006 23:02

Been looking at prospectus after prospectus, have done countless visits and open days and just feel completely daunted and overwhelmed by making the right decision about which school to choose.

Just wondered if there was anyone else in the same boat?

OP posts:
starlover · 05/03/2006 22:38

i am in crawley...

Original poster
mrspink27 · 06/03/2006 13:45

I'm not far from you then Starlover. Following your recommendation i visited T and S this morning, I think it is closer to what we are looking for, but the head is leaving and so there wil be a lot of change in the new academic year! it must be a huge amount of change all round because the majority of prep schools locally have changed head this year or will be changing in September, another unnerving fact!

OP posts:
LIZS · 06/03/2006 13:57

Where is more "local" ? 40 minutes is a hell of a trek. I do 25-30 atm and it is too much for both me and the kids. It affects both my day and their ability to do activites after school and socialise with friends. The Surrey schools applications for this September were due last October, so are you in Sussex if you are still looking ?

Original poster
mrspink27 · 06/03/2006 14:05

the journey is a factor, but willing to do this if the school is right.

OP posts:
kate100 · 06/03/2006 14:12

I read the thread title and this is exactly how I feel. I've just done the rounds of all the local schools and registered them at a local independent school last week. I went and dropped the forms off, got back in the car and burst into tears. I couldn't bear the thought that I might have got it wrong and do irreversible damage to my precious boys. This week however, I have got a grip and am feeling positive about the whole thing as I know that I've made the right decision. Do what you think is right.

Original poster
mrspink27 · 06/03/2006 14:18

Sorry had to cut that post short! anyway as I said the journey is a factor and also the distance away from peers and socially for me! (is i am being selfish!) we know that whatever happens we will either leave dd1 at her montessori for another year and do all this again next year!!!! (aaaaaaagh) or go independent so LEA closing dates arent really a factor for us, but we would have opted for a surrey school even though we live in west sussex. A friend in SUrrey heard this week that she didnt get any of her choices for Sept, she was so upset!

OP posts:
Original poster
mrspink27 · 06/03/2006 14:20

Thanks Kate101, i want to walk into a school and go round and think.... this is right. I think I am going to have to accept that maybe I wont get that feeling, which is why we are considering a very long drive to find the right one.

OP posts:
LIZS · 06/03/2006 14:21

Agree you could do it if the school is right - that is why I am, I do at least 160 miles a week on the school run alone - but we are going to move closer, otherwise ultimately they will miss out, and property is more expensive in that area. Think we may be in a similar location to you ! Now they have started, I am also startign to come around to the idea that you can get overly fixated on getting it right, although we are very happy with our choice.

Original poster
mrspink27 · 06/03/2006 14:22

Lizs - where are you? if you dont want to say you can cat me or email ?

OP posts:
kate100 · 06/03/2006 14:25

I'm going to be doing a 30 minute drive to school and for mornings only for a year too! But I think if it's the right school then it's worth it. Also I think that at the school, we've chosen everyone will be driving there, so in terms of social event etc, everyone will be in the same boat.

Original poster
mrspink27 · 06/03/2006 14:32

At the moment I do 15 minutes, and thats fine, in the ideal world we would have a fabulous school within walking distance, but that just isnt the case. Just spoken to one registrar who said "oooo will you be moving this way, you're a long way from us!" and another one who was suprised that we werent bringing dd1 on a visit, as they wanted to have a look at her! Shock dh said i should take a photo!

OP posts:
LIZS · 06/03/2006 14:34

have sent you a CAT .

Original poster
mrspink27 · 06/03/2006 14:40

nothing yet, but will keep looking!

OP posts:
LIZS · 06/03/2006 14:41

Depends how active they are at MN HQ as to how quickly it gets through. Where are you looking at now ?

Original poster
mrspink27 · 06/03/2006 14:46

Have looked at Copthorne, Lingfield Notre Dame, Fonthill Lodge, Stoke Brunswick, Burgess Hill for girls, Tavistock and Summerhill. Visiting or in process of visiting Laverock,, Ardingly, Holmewood in T wells,Handross Park and Croydon Girls... Have i missed any????!!!! Grin

OP posts:
LIZS · 06/03/2006 14:47

Also do the independent schools say if they still have spaces for next September. We are recommended to register siblings at 6 months but think there may be a space or two in this year's Reception.

Original poster
mrspink27 · 06/03/2006 14:48

all schools we have looked at have reception space for Sept and once dd1 is in, I think locally it is a low birth rate year. dd2 will 99.9% certainly go to the same school, cant face doing all this again!!!!!! so will register her at the time.

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Original poster
mrspink27 · 06/03/2006 21:38

Lizs - Thanks for your mail more food for thought!

OP posts:
firestorm · 07/03/2006 14:39

i did a 40 minute each way commute for 4 months before we moved to the area (now its 5 minutes Grin) to be honest it was a NIGHTMARE Shock & i really wouldnt recommend it long term.
i hope for your sake that you manage to find a school much closer to where you live (or one that has a school bus)

starlover · 07/03/2006 19:13

mrspink... i grew up in handcross and did my work experience at handcross park.
It is a really nice school. I also knew a few pupils from there who seemed to get on well and enjoy the school.

starlover · 07/03/2006 19:17

I don't like ardingly...

Original poster
mrspink27 · 07/03/2006 19:48

oooh come on now... spill the beans... going there tomorrow!

OP posts:
miggy · 07/03/2006 22:46

I do know a fair number of children (esp girls) that have left Handcross with a general perception that it was too strict in an unfair way ie a whole class of 5 yr olds being punished for someone losing their shoes, and also a bit "stuck up".
Agree with Starlover-Ardingly doesnt do it for me either, esp as I know someone whose mother cleaned the dorms!
Have you thought about Ashdown-bit more your way, good reputation etc

miggy · 07/03/2006 22:49

skip that-sorry boarding and starts at 7 Ie completely useless for you!

starlover · 07/03/2006 22:52

miggy my dad worked there as a maintenance man!

mrspink there isn't a particular thing/s that put me off... just have a general feeling that it isn't that nice!