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Original poster

All Boys? Good or Bad?

24 replies

AllBuggiedOut · 26/02/2006 18:47

We have 2 boys (2 1/2 and 1/2) and have our flat on the market ready for a move out of London asap. DH needs to commute into Liverpool Street, and Colchester is looking very appealing. BUT, it has single sex grammar schools and I'm not sure how I feel about that. DH & I grew up in the north, going to bog-standard comprehensives, and the whole grammar school/all boys thing is freaking me out a bit. Any advice or thoughts? Does anybody know any well-balanced, non-posh men who went to all boys schools???

(Sorry if this has been asked before, but I couldn't find anything in the archives.)

Cheers ladies!

OP posts:
PeachyClair · 26/02/2006 19:01

My BIL and many friends went to a private all boys school (not single sex now though). The extent to which they are posh seems to rely on their parents rather than the school (my XP went there, hugely not posh!!). What I would say about them though is that they are all confident, happy and largely successful.

I read on article on single sex svchools recently- may have been The Times, not sure- the premise was that a single sex school that really understands how that sex learns is fab. Boys learn by doing.. treasure hunts to find square numbers, guessing heights in meters you can bounce a ball etc.

Hulababy · 26/02/2006 19:05

Educational research in the past has generally suggested that boys do better, academically at least, in all boy settings than when in mixed settings.

Fauve · 26/02/2006 19:14

My ds is in Yr 7 at a boys' grammar school, and I was shocked by how competitive it was, in every class, in every lesson. However, I've since read that boys thrive best in a competitive environment, and I have to say that now he's used to it, ds does seem to like it. Personally, I would have crumpled completely in the first week; and it seems girls are offered a more nurturing, less rufty-tufty environment in their single sex grammar schools. Maybe boys are like dogs, you have to show them who's the boss or they think they are

4blue1pink · 26/02/2006 19:17

We send our eldestboy ( 3 others to follow) to an all boys grammar and are delighted.

I feel its almost less macho and my opinion of it has only got better as time goes on.

I would recommend them.

Mimsie · 26/02/2006 20:02

I haven't got any experience to offer, but would like to thank you for starting this thread as we are considering a private school for my DS (5). it's a boys only and it does concern me. It starts at 7.

I am left with a dilema... I don't like the idea of boys only, I am worried that he will miss out in an important stage of development in the teenage years.

I am sure it's better for them academically. Boys do learn differently and I can see in the present school that, in the classes I help in, the "over achiever" tables are over 90% girls.

But then my best friend at school was a boy and DS has a lot of girlfriends. I don't remember much of all I was taught but it taught me a life lesson, about interaction etc... (not always all that good an experience but nonetheless worthwhile lol) What's it going like for him to go to uni!!! and suddenly discover the other sex!!!! It seems soooo unfair on him!! To miss out on all the fun and the little heartbreaks!!

He's quite a softy as well!! But he is quite bright and I have concerns about the present school's way of making use of his abilities. If they ask him one more time to write a cinderella or other fairy tale story and complain he has no interest in writing... I am not going to be a happy bunny! (though he hates writing but the subjects are hardly helpful)

so ??????? basically

WideAwake · 26/02/2006 20:10

As a non-posh well balanced guy who went to an all boys private school I like to say it can be very worthwhile. For 11-16 I would recommend it, although some kind of coed sixth form seems to be neccessary unless your kids have many coed outside activities. Boys just don't seem to act up as much in a single sex environment.

JoolsToo · 26/02/2006 20:13

Prefer single sex secondary schools tbh

Fauve · 26/02/2006 21:09

My experience of all the many all-boys secondaries near us is that they go to enormous lengths to do joint activities with single sex girls' schools, so there is no lack of contact. This year, ds has had the chance to do drama and music stuff with girls, to go to joint discos, and so on, and it gets more so in the 6th form. I think boys' schools are more than aware of this potential weakness and do everything they can to make it not a problem.

Fauve · 26/02/2006 21:09

My experience of all the many all-boys secondaries near us is that they go to enormous lengths to do joint activities with single sex girls' schools, so there is no lack of contact. This year, ds has had the chance to do drama and music stuff with girls, to go to joint discos, and so on, and it gets more so in the 6th form. I think boys' schools are more than aware of this potential weakness and do everything they can to make it not a problem.

Hulababy · 26/02/2006 21:10

The two main all girl and all boy schools here also do a lot of joint activities. The boy's school also accepts girls into it's sixth form. The girl's school doesn't though.

ScummyMummy · 26/02/2006 21:16

That's interesting, hula. It used to be oft quoted that the research showed that girls did better in single sex but boys in mixed schools. Have things changed?

They must have normal comprehensive schools as well as grammars in Colchester, surely? Where do the kids whose parents don't want them in grammar go? Or those who fail the 11+, come to that?

LIZS · 26/02/2006 21:19

Both dh and I went to single sex secondaries and tbh I think it was probably a positive thing educationally. There were comparable local opposite-sex schools for joint ventures such as music, drama and social trips. We wanted our kids to attend a co-ed primary, partly for convenience and partly for social reasons, but would be happy for them to progress to single sex secondary education.

Hulababy · 26/02/2006 21:21

Willing to be found wrong SM. I may have remebered wrongly. But I thought the findings were normally that both sexes do better in single sex classrooms. Girls always outperform boys, but boys do better without girls. Certainly the league tables (around here at least) tend to show this, even with non selective schools.

WideAwake · 26/02/2006 22:02

That is also the case for the top performing schools in Merseyside Hulababy, single sex wins out every time.

Mimsie · 27/02/2006 08:02

I always thought it was the other way around scrummy. I certainly seems that way at the primary DS is in at the moment, the girls way out perform the boys.

and wide awake it's the merseyside one we are thinking of sending DS to... I take it you have been there yourself? Do they organise event with the single girl's school like Fauve mentions?

Freckle · 27/02/2006 08:14

DH went to an all-boys grammar school and he is definitely not posh.

If you are worried about grammar schools, you don't have to apply to them. Colchester will have high schools too. To be offered a place at a grammar school, you have to pass an exam as entry is decided on academic ability. If your children are not likely to pass that exam, they can just go to the local high school.

I have a friend who is a teacher and she said she would like her daughter to go to an all-girls school and her son to go to a mixed school, as boys tend to up their effort when competing with girls. Mind you, that's just her opinion.

DS1 goes to an all boys grammar and is perfectly normal - and not posh .

jalopy · 27/02/2006 13:31

Is there some research to show that mixed schools do well if girls and boys are taught separately, iyswim. Or am I talking a load of twaddle? Grin

slug · 27/02/2006 13:51

My memory, from educational psychology 209 (20 years ago) was that girls tend to better in single sex schools and boys in mixed schools. The thinking is that the presence of girls tones down the more boisterous/competitive aspects of male behaviour, whereas the presence of boys inhibits girls performance as they don't want to be seen as being 'better' than males. However this was 20 years ago, things may have changed a lot since then.

Piffle · 27/02/2006 13:57

My dp went to public all boys school and he is pretty normal, well he has exellent taste in women for a start Grin
I went to a single sex girls school and detested there, when I should have excelled I only did enough to get by
My two brothers did fabulously well and adored their single sex schools. My ds is loving his single sex grammar too.
I think and my knowing lots of people in this situation is that boys do better in a single sex environment than girls... Not always but sometimes...

RTKangaMummy · 27/02/2006 14:26

My DH went to boys only private school and also has a deffo brill talent for choosing a lovely woman

He now teaches at boys senior private school

DS has been at mixed state pimary and will be going to DH school in sept

There is a girls school that they do:

CCF
D of E
drama
music

and various clubs and other stuff together

Smile

IMHO it is the best of both worlds

Smile
PiccadillyCircus · 27/02/2006 14:29

My sister's fiance went to Colchester Boys school. And he is a very nice person Smile.

DH also went to an all boys' school. And he is OK too.

I on thr other hand went to a bog-standard comprehensive in the north Smile.

lizardqueen · 27/02/2006 14:35

Yes, lots - DH and his friends went to single sex boys' grammar in Berks.

sunnydelight · 27/02/2006 19:14

Most schools in Ireland are single sex so I went through that system, but I was very pleased that I was raising my kids in England in mixed schools and felt a bit sorry for my sister's three boys in Ireland going to an all boys school. I am now so jealous. Her boys are being taught by people who have chosed to teach boys and who understand boys. Mine are being taught in a system that often favours girls and by teachers who often seem to actively dislike boys. As long as you are aware of it you can compensate for the social side - personally I would go for the better education!

Original poster
AllBuggiedOut · 27/02/2006 23:20

Thanks all. I haven't even begun to think about "what if they don't pass the exam" (worry about that another day) but do think that if they are good enough at exams to pass then I'll feel compelled to send them to the grammar school "because it's there". It does seem to be a really good school, OFSTED said good things about it, I was just worrying that the boys that thrive might be the ones who are naturally competative and good at sport, and that it might enourage machismo. I have certainly heard that girls' schools can be very bitchy and cliquey and that the presence of boys waters that down. Does the absence of girls encourage the typically "male" behaviours too? Dunno. But I'm heartened by your positive comments! (Especially from those who also went to northen comprehensives Wink)

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