That's how I have explained it to my DS1, and I agree with the poster who said that any school would be benefitting from my DS1's presence there, and that provided he puts the hard work in, he will do well even in any school
I would be careful about telling the school that if I were you. In my general experience the teachers will not like it. Its a snobby statement which makes the next almost inciomprehensible......
And jabed - It's NOT inclusion that is the problem, it is the fact that inclusion HASN'T BEEN FUNDED PROPERLY BY SUCCESSIVE GOVERNMENTS
In my extensive experience if you are putting pupils of a very wide ability range into the same classes - as will and must happen with a policy of inclusion, then by definition you cannot serve those at the top of the heap
(like your other DS who might be benefitting any school he goes to).
I recall asa young lad in SM asking one of the teachers - art I think it was - why we didnt learn how todraw properly ( like they did in grammar school) and his answer ( even for the A stream) was " do you really think that anyone in this class wants to learn perspective? I dont most could understand anyway" The attitude amongst teachers has not changed despite inclusion - believe me, thats the private face, not matter what they say to you.
I spent five years in a school who had a very ability range and it had an impact on me (as the one kid who was effectively benefitting any school I was sent to!) . Even streamed we could not work at a pace much greater than the least able ( even with differentiation by teachers). In many instances, the social issues (not disruption - just chattiness and what is now the "Sir I dont get this" syndrome kicks in. In the lower streamwhere there was disruotive behaviour, things were worse - and all this was without the inclusion of those with even greater difficulties.
In some classes even in my old SM ( and more so now) many classes are not set and this has a greater impact still.
The big thing about those in the lower stream ( and those who even my school might now have been seen as SEN ( including specific bneeds) did in fact have far more of the resources of our school than I did. Just a simple thing- they had a book each, I had to share between 3 ( for homework that was a nightmare and for tests, where I wanted to do well, even worse. My solution? I got my own copy - and that set up even more problems as everyone told me off for an "unfair" advantage.
The other thing is, despite inclusion, you find that socially most kids seem to hang out with gangs of friends who are similar to themsleves , so the inclusion just leads to small cliques gathering in bigger classes, as the quiet hard workers try to get way from the less able or the ones with EBD issues. But those issues still spill over into their education in ways unexpected and which most people do not even realise.
I am sorry you find it offensive but its how I feel. Inclusion is a great policy and , yes every kids deserves the opportunity to have a chance but the chances given to those at the bottom have the greatest impact on those at the top. Of course those at the top dont matter do they , because they will , it seems do OK anywhere you put them and no matter how badly they are taught or how little they are taught ( as I did in fact demonstrate).
However, I do not want my DS to have that experience, thanks.
I know it offends ( I guess) but sometimes you have to shoot straight I am afraid. I am pro inclusion for everyone else. I agree with the principle. But my DS is very precious to me. I will pay what it takes to get him the best I can ( and if I pay I get that choice - so effectively, I am benefitting everyone else again anyway by not darkening the doors of the local school with my ideas and my DS's presence.