And I KNOW that others in my situation do get into the Grammar, it is an ability test, no more, no less.
I have an older DD who would NEVER get into Grammar, due to SN, but she has flourished at the local Comp. she left primary working on p-scales still. She is now at the end of Y9, and is a C/D student taking traditional GCSE's, yes she has chosen more 'vocational' subjects, her options are Catering, Textiles and Health & Social care, but it reflects where she is aiming for.
What is wrong with a Grammar system? If your DC is able but 'fails' the 11+, even in a not-so good school, they can still do well, it just means more parental input.
I know my DD's school moves DC's between sets - DD was in set 6 for everything at the start of Y7. She is now in set 5 in Maths, set 4 for most subjects, Set 3 in Geography, set 2 for Textiles and H&S care, and set 1 for catering.
So in catering, she has moved from bottom set to top set in 3 years!
I can't see the issue with having a Grammar school system, it isn't divisive to me, it is just about sending the brightest DC to a school that fits their abilities better, the problem IMO is that some Secondaries just aren't up to scratch.
If people concentrated on getting these schools to up their game, instead of complaining about the Grammar school system, then many more DC would get an acceptable education.
I agree that in an area like here, with a super-selective, lots of the schools only get 30% A*-C, but that is because the SCHOOLS aren't run properly, not because of the Grammar or the intake. One of the schools in that situation had a change of SLT, and the school is bettering its results year on year, last year they were at 48%, rising from 28% two years ago...
If all Secondaries worked the way my local one does, they would all get 60%+ at GCSE.
And anyway, if your DC is one of those who just misses out on a place at Grammar, then it stands to reason that they will be in the 30% or whatever that gets 5 A*-C grades at GCSE?!