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Original poster

How much schooling do you do at home, esp. in hols?

29 replies

PeachyClair · 23/02/2006 18:38

I had a meeting with Teacher (yr1) a few weeks ago, meant to post this then but haven't gotten round to it.

Basically, DS1 is still behind with writing / reading. They feel I am not doing enough at home and asked if I could put in a full day in the holidays / weekends and at least an hour on school days.

Now apart from the fact that I don't get half term at Uni, I personally feel that DS1 needs a rest over the holidays and to do other, non- school activities... such as the visit to Chepstow Castle earlier this week, and half term club where they are learning about other countries but dont write.

I feel strongly that DS1 is not progressing because of DS's current writing ability,a s opposed to me neglecting him. DS always has access to pens and paper and chooses to write a lot, constant access to art materials (he is creative), a book corner with comfy cushions andetc always available, and a Mum who likes to read with him, and praise him.

DS1 missed the first year stage of reading, as his old school didn't start until yr1 but this school started in reception (DS2 has had homework from second week or so of Reception). They do not feel however that taking himback to basics is worth it. He also is getting SENCO support (he has a dx of Aspergers Traits which is looking likely to be upgraded to full AS one day), but the SENCO is on long term sick leave, and although we have a list of stuff he's supposed to get, such as Maths work (he loves Maths but they won't introduce until he reaches a certain literacey stage, even though his talents are different) but the list is ignored.

I don't want to have to take the Teacher to task as I am having to go in and do that over bullying issues anyhow I think.

How much does anyone else do with their kids?
Would taking him back to reception stage be a viable option, given that his confidence is not high and I don't want to dent that? What happens if a SENCO is away, do the SN kids just lose out then?

I still firmly believe DS is very bright just not developing the literacy well, they seem to have him down as thick kid doesn't care Mother- SO not true!! His verbal skills are off the scale, as are his physical (as assessed by SN people).

OP posts:
coppertop · 23/02/2006 18:43

Personally I think an extra hour after school everyday is waaaay too much for a child in Yr1 - never mind the weekend stuff as well. Ds1 (also Yr1) probably does about 10 - 15mins a day after school, maybe less. He has a short worksheet once a week (takes about 5mins), 10 spellings a week to learn (again 5mins a night) and a book to read (another 5mins). I tend to keep weekends free of schoolwork wherever possible.

Twiglett · 23/02/2006 18:44

I think that's an appalling amount of 'homework' and I'd be apppalled if a teacher recommended it for a 5 or 6 year old tbh

can you spend a little time playing games .. like silly sentences (a dorling kindersley game someone recommended to me) ..

does he know phonics?

I'd be talking to the teacher / head and trying to get an in-school action plan going

Enif · 23/02/2006 18:45

I asked about this pre christmas as dd1 was quite behind. Her teacher looked at me in horror and said she would rather dd1 relaxed and enjoyed the holidays felt like a really pushy mum.

Your situation sounsd a bit unfair as tbh you sound as though you are supporting him 100%. Suprised they don't replace the SENCO??

Bink · 23/02/2006 18:50

Doing full hours/days with him will exhaust him and make it look even more of a hurdle. I would, though, do something, starting very very small, 5 mins to start with, every single day - one of those Letts handwriting or story-writing workbooks they sell in WH Smith or similar. And reward him for effort. Think of it like piano practice. No-one says "your piano playing isn't good enough, go and play for a full day till you can". They say do a little tiny bit, carefully, every day.

Original poster
PeachyClair · 23/02/2006 18:55

He zoomed through the LETTS books, really whizzed it.

We do theoretically ahev an action plan (school action) but the teacher doesn't seem interested, the school is notorious for being useless with kids who don't meet their excellent success rate: they have a long waiting list of extra bright kids but we fell within a specific catchment so had to admit DS1.

DH is similar, very bright, technical, designs industrial digital electronics as a hobby (!) but can barely write his name.

I am glad though that I not being silly- it is too much for a 6 year old!

OP posts:
Tehanu · 23/02/2006 18:56

Gosh I think 1 hr extra a day is FAR too much for any yr1 child. Mine were shattered after a day in school at this age.

What are your circumstances? If they haven't got enough staffing at school atm, are you in a position to go in to school and do half an hour or so with him one-to-one during school time? That would make more sense IMO if you've got the time.

Original poster
PeachyClair · 23/02/2006 20:12

Going in is a good idea. I'm at Uni 3 days a week but will ask. Might have to dye my hair back first- LOL!

I think they just have me marked down as can't be arsed, actually I can, very much. They even gave me sympathy for having three sons LOL- 'It must be so hard for you' Ah, no, actually I love my family very much and am bleesed, thanks anyway!

I really hate the idea of moving him yet again but am wondering if my happy confident child who does as well as he can aim is at direct odds with their academically brilliant ethos.

OP posts:
LIZS · 23/02/2006 20:24

ds is almost 8 and wouldn't do an hour a day, espeiclaly duirng term time. We occasionally take workbooks on holiday for him to do 20 minutes here and there but even so wouldn't pressure him to do so. It sounds like they are concerned about their overall targets, but not got the wherewithall to help him achieve them. ds didn't start to read at school until the equivalent of year one and picked it up relatively more quickly than kids who started the year before. It suddenly seemed to fall into place and by year 2/3 he was up with his peers so that in itself needn't be an issue. If you feel the need to go back to basics you could try some of the Jolly Phonics materials(games, videos, sound/word cards)- but ds soon found them babyish - otherwise Orchard toys do games based on rhyme and phonics (Slug in a Jug is one) or even Scrabble and Hangman may help.

singersgirl · 23/02/2006 20:36

An hour sounds far too much after school - they barely have enough time to play and eat as it is.

I would think 5-10 minutes would be enough. It can help doing it every day, in terms of routine - he may be less likely to complain if it's just a fact that you do 5 mins reading before TV/after bath/whatever.

Going in to school sounds like a great idea.

mandieb · 23/02/2006 20:45

I am a serious anal mother where homework and reading and extra work is concerned .I truly believe we have to support our children in every aspect of school .I am the mother who encourges her child to do extra stuff . Actually I lie and say his teacher asked him to do it .And even I think an hour a night is too much .

Original poster
PeachyClair · 23/02/2006 21:08

He already does 10 minutes of BIBIC work which is like brain gym so usually do spellings then, that takes twenty minutes or so and then there's the book.

I am going to go for half an hour but watch very closely. Still sticking to holidays being holidays though, learn just as much at castles etc (We're going camping near Beaulieu next half term- educational too, museum, boatyard and otter sanctuary visits planned).

OP posts:
motherinferior · 23/02/2006 21:11

Christalmighty, what's the school supposed to be doing?

I am a particularly lax parent when it comes to reading and suchlike, but surely this is awful for the poor lad.

MaloryTowers · 23/02/2006 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

swedishmum · 23/02/2006 21:34

Hi
DS is dyslexic (not suggesting anything btw) and I feel he's not achieving, particularly in writing. However, I know as a parent and a teacher that his brain is worn out by the end of the day - an hour would be torture for both of us and he wouldn't really benefit. He's in Y4 so much older. As a specialist teacher this is wrong wrong wrong. He needs to be happy to learn and they need to focus on specific ways to help, not throw guilt on you. Trips out that excite his imagination seem exactly the right thing to me.

cece · 23/02/2006 21:44

holidays none.

during the week 10 mins (at the very most) either reading or learning her words most days. she is in reception.

cece · 23/02/2006 21:45

holidays none.

during the week 10 mins (at the very most) either reading or learning her words most days. she is in reception.

Original poster
PeachyClair · 24/02/2006 12:06

Thanks

I have wondered about Dyslexia, we're seeing an education specialist next month when we go to BIBIC so we'll ask. More because of dh's probable dyslexia (IMO only) than anhything else.

I KNOW myself that he is bright, he can name any dinosaur you care to describe, has conversations with adults that the adults (especially the teachers at his previous school) were dumbfounded by. It's just his writing.

I did suggest that I pull the focus off writing completely and do maths for a bit, but they consider him too behind to do maths. I thought that would help his confidence as he loves numbers.

What he CAN do is write phonetically- daily he gives me notes (usually love notes ) written phonetically, it's the next jump he hasn't made.

Could it be that he is bored? His Montessori teacher at nursery felt he was very bright and was concerned he would get bored and switch off, he has been put in sets for children who have real long term difficulties. That worries me maybe too much, but certainly that mirrors what happened to me at school and I am having to go to Uni now, after being written off as a child and put in special needs groups.

The idea that I don't care about education seems to filter back from teachers... bit of a joke as they know I am studying so I can teach!! Makes no sense.

OP posts:
katyp · 24/02/2006 12:19

Sounds way too much to me, but my kids school have a deliberate policy of setting minimal homework up to Yr 5 so the kids can do after school activities without having to worry about getting homework done. Also, if a kid joins the school who hasn't English as a first language for example, or has missed on on learning phonemes for another reason, those kids often join in the Reception class when they are learning them (but just for that topic.)

Do you know what system your school uses? If it's Jolly Phonics it might be worth looking up their website and doing the sounds with your ds at home. Or maybe get him to do DS2's homework too so he covers what he missed in Reception? He should really be getting the extra help at school but I would probably do a bit at home as well (but definitely not as much as they are suggesting!)

katyp · 24/02/2006 12:23

Sounds way too much to me, but my kids school have a deliberate policy of setting minimal homework up to Yr 5 so the kids can do after school activities without having to worry about getting homework done. Also, if a kid joins the school who hasn't English as a first language for example, or has missed on on learning phonemes for another reason, those kids often join in the Reception class when they are learning them (but just for that topic.)

Do you know what system your school uses? If it's Jolly Phonics it might be worth looking up their website and doing the sounds with your ds at home. Or maybe get him to do DS2's homework too so he covers what he missed in Reception? He should really be getting the extra help at school but I would probably do a bit at home as well (but definitely not as much as they are suggesting!)

katyp · 24/02/2006 12:25

Sounds way too much to me, but my kids school have a deliberate policy of setting minimal homework up to Yr 5 so the kids can do after school activities without having to worry about getting homework done. Also, if a kid joins the school who hasn't English as a first language for example, or has missed on on learning phonemes for another reason, those kids often join in the Reception class when they are learning them (but just for that topic.)

If he can write phonetically correctly in Yr 1 that would be perfectly acceptable at our school, from what I recall of when my dd was at that stage, and no more would be expected (though they would start building on that gradually.) If the school thinks he needs extra help, he should really be getting that help at school but I would probably do a bit at home as well (but definitely not as much as they are suggesting!)

katyp · 24/02/2006 12:26

Sorry, don't know what happened there!

fsmail · 27/02/2006 23:08

Sorry way too much. I am having to do a little extra with my DS Year 1 as he is a bit behind but we only do things like put pictures in the right order and then the words in the right order etc. We also play I spy and his dad and him wrote a song. Those sort of things. I do also try and read signs with him and say what rhymes with when we are in the kitchen, but I find he would get very upset if I just got him to read all the time. Your DS sounds more advanced than mine as my DS struggles writing phonetically. His writing is quite good though. I think your school are being too pushy and should be more constructively trying to help your son. I get a little action plan for the weekend with little games to play etc and it does not feel like work for him because of the things we are doing. I am a convert to a little bit every day but only about 15 minutes and do notice the difference if he has not done something for more than a day. If you want to contact me I could scan some of the action plans we have had for you.

fsmail · 27/02/2006 23:10

Ps my ds is the same with dinosaurs so I have been encouraging him to write little stories about them and King Kong and draw pictures along with it. He loves doing this and that would keep him going for ages. We then make the books up with staples and he re-reads them.

jac34 · 27/02/2006 23:22

I think it's far too much as well.
My boys are in year 2,I try to avoid any school work in holidays,except what they are set as homework.This half term it wasn't too bad,they just had their reading book to read and a model to build for St.David's day.
I,like you,believe they learn more from getting out and seeing things,we went to @Bristol,Big Pit,on days out and on days in they got addicted to Animal Planet. I know they took in loads from the general stream of questionsGrin
Why not just carry on with what your already doing and leave it at that.

tigermoth · 27/02/2006 23:51

In some ways, your problem with the teacher is similar to mine a year ago. My youngest son found year 1 a very difficult year. His teacher accused me of getting him to bed too late and I felt she saw me as a not supportive mum.
Ds is August born, the youngest and IMO his little brain was just not ready to take in reading and writing. But in year 1, as you know, the national curriculum starts to focus on literacy and numeracy targets more than the 'learning through play' approach of the nursery and reception years. Ds 1 is finding year 2 much easier and in six months his literacy skills have come on in leaps and bounds.