Will I always be a statistic?

[JYasmin]

Hiya :)

This is my first post on Mumsnet Go easy on me, please :D

I apologise if this is a lengthy post. I've been thinking about posting for a little while now, and have finally plucked up the courage.

I'm 20, a single mother (to a fabulous child), I live in London... Though not the best part. I live in a council estate. I have no qualifications (worth mentioning), nobody in my family has actually become 'something', I've been in trouble with the police a numerous amount of times, robbed, beaten up... You name it.

Now, I know after reading that majority of people reading will think... 'chav'[s]thumbsdown[/s]

I made the decision 3 days ago to MAKE something of my life! I've dropped all my 'friends' and literally have nobody but my child. I hated my lifestyle. I've always felt like I don't fit in with the 'youth violence', 'gangs' etc. That is the norm in my area.

I homeschool my child, we don't even own a television... We have a schedule of activities we do daily which meet his development and help to broaden his skills. We've never been to mcdonalds, hell... He doesn't even know what it is:$ we eat healthy meals.. Fruit is his sweeties :D i don't dress him in the latest Nike trainers, I'm happy with organic clothing and non toxic furniture/toys. I understand I'm very different after having my son and have changed a great deal to who I was before and to those around me and I really just want to be myself!

I've written a plan in terms of education, what I want to achieve and how I'm going to get there. I am on an extremely low income, where there's days I cannot afford to top up my gas metre and have to wear extra clothing on cold nights. And it does worry me that people like me 'A STATISTIC' will always stay at the bottom and never achieve anything. Due to lack of funds, discrimination... The lot.

I guess I'm looking for some new friends, that I can actually be myself around. And that are interested in achieving something in life also.

I have kinda set myself up for disappointment, that people will maybe laugh or pity me and move on to the next post. But hopefully there's someone out there that's friendly :D

Blimey... I feel a little silly now. But here goes...

Congratulations! What a big step you've taken. Must feel a bit scary, especially since you are still living in the same area I guess? It's hard to reinvent yourself when the same people are around. I moved to another country when I did it! No chance of anyone judging me based on my past then...

Do you have some ideas where you will go to look for new friends? Is there a hobby you want to follow more, or take up for the first time? Do you belong to any home ed email lists or groups where you can meet up in person, or does that not appeal to you?

op, you are clearly articulate and your literacy levels are good. This is a great foundation to build on.

Have you thought about finding the home educators in your area? These are usually a very diverse bunch, all home edding for different reasons and will certainly not be remotely put off by your lack of finances at present.

Have you thought about enrolling on a course yourself? One with a childcare facility perhaps? This would be full of people just like yourself...ie wanting to educate themselves.

I have to say you are so lucky you live in London, as there are educational chances there that I don't know of elsewhere. You have access to lots of free museums, and places like Birkbeck college have child care available. Do find a local HE group, and make use of your local library.

You sound great. It sounds as though you have been through some tough times but are determined not to let that blight your future (or your son's).

I agree with the others that joining some home ed groups might be good, e.g. dir.groups.yahoo.com/group/westlondonhomeeducators/, or a similar group in your area of london. (Disclaimer: I'm not a member myself, I just got chatting to some people recently who told me about the group). Apparently they meet in parks and do lots of free activities - I bet there are lots of others who are home educating on a low income too. And with home educators there's a very good chance you'll meet some people who share your values, or even if they don't, will respect and accept you for who you are.

Congratulations on this big step, and best of luck.

OP can't really add much to the above but wanted to check that you know there is a home education board on here and I'm sure the people there will offer you loads of help and support. Also have you looked at Access Courses which are for people who left school with few or no qualifications and would like to consider Higher Education - they're normally free or means tested by the way.

You sound brilliant and I am sure with your determination you are going to improve things for yourself very quickly. Your son is really lucky to have you, I bet he's going to be so proud of his mum in the future.

Have you tried getting on the transfer list to move to another council property in a different area? You may have a long wait for an offer but it could be something to work towards and give you a new start.

In fact you don't write anything like someone in that position would which is very very unusual.

You are 20 and you homeschool a child. So the child must be 5 at least as that is the UK schooling age. You had him or her at 15?

May be you could get a live in nanny post in a posh town or country house taking your child with you to get out of the council estate environment although that could be hard because of the child. Is the child's father involved? Does he see and pay towards the child and if not can you try to ensure he does? Did you take GCSEs and what grades did you get?

I agree xenia. OP's literacy levels are pretty damn good!

Hi.
I second the idea about finding local homeschoolers. Our neighbour home educated her kids and a valuable part of that is sharing ideas and resources with others. Her kids are amazing and i admore both of you for tackling it!

I think you need to forget about the idea of being a statistic. You are an individual. You seem to be cogent and articulate with a clear plan on how to better yourself. It will be hard stepping away from a lifestyle and friends you know but do it if you think you have to. You know what you and your son need. From your post i totally believe you can do it. Be confident that you can too

good luck

Maybe OP was a primary high-flier and was de-railed at secondary school? OP expresses herself thoughtfully and articulately.

OP, are your local primaries so bad that you couldn't send your little one? Homeschooling might limit your own further development in terms of accessing college courses, qualifications etc.