Bilingual family- how did you get your baby to be bilingual?

[frogalou]

Hello!

I am French and my daddy's baby is English. He does not speak much French. We are having a baby girl in October and i was wondering if bilingual families out there have some tips to make sure their children become bilingual?

Many thanks

D

Do you mean "my daddy's baby" or "my baby's daddy"?

You know, i changed it twice and could nor see which way round it should be! Baby's brain kicking in!! The father of my undorn child ;))

I look after 2 bilingual children. Dad speaks to them in English and mum speaks to them in her home language. They have just absorbed both languages naturally (and dad has learned a lot of mum's language).

My friends' children are bilingual. Mam speaks her language all the time and Dad speaks English. They understand and speak both perfectly.

It's easiest if each one of you speaks your own language.

IMVHO the crunch comes when your DC spends a lot of time outside your care eg at nursery, school etc. It is unfortunately all too easy for the majority language to take over at that point.

Hi Frogalou, I'm French and my DD's dad is English. DD has always lived in England, and spends most of her summers in France with her grand-parents. She is perfectly bilingual. Just speak to your baby in French. You'll probably find that it's what comes naturally anyway.

For resources and advice, have look at this website: www.wfbilingual.org.uk/

We do OPOL too. If you live in England you have it the 'easy' way Roy d because, your language being the minority one and you're more likely to be present during the early years/possibly have another maternity leave to immerse your DC in your language and encourage siblings to use the minority language together,, you have a chance to give your DC a good start. What can be trickier is when the fatger's language is the minority, unless they stay at home.

It's always a work in progress and you need to evaluate and readjust from time to time. The keys are maintaining a balanced exposure and putting them in situations where they have to use the minority language.

Your DH/P will pick up a lot of French from hearing you use the simple, repetitive language used to talk to babies.

Please excuse the typos - multi-tasking whilst MNing on a quick break :)

Agree with Frakiosaurus - all members of the family will benefit from exposure to your minority language. My DP and two DSSs learned loads of English listening to me speak to DD etc.

I'm British, but I live in my husband's native country. The kids are naturally exposed to his language more than to English. I speak to them in English (they understand everything) and they answer me in their first language - not ideal but better than nothing.

I hope that when my son starts learning English in school next year he will feel more confident about actually speaking it.

We're bilingual and mine is the minority language. We haven't stuck strickly to OPOL: dh does speak Swedish when he is with my family, and I have allowed myself to speak quite a bit of English, because I felt confident that I was giving them enough exposure to Swedish to afford it (I talk a lot, basically!), and frequent visits and closeness to extended family has added to what I give.

Books and DVDs have also been a blessing- and lately the ability to keep in touch with Swedish cousins through texting and facebook. Dd at 15 has more of a regional Swedish accent than I do.

These, by Frakiosaurus, are just about the wisest words I have ever read on the subject: "It's always a work in progress and you need to evaluate and readjust from time to time. The keys are maintaining a balanced exposure and putting them in situations where they have to use the minority language."

So keep an eye on what you're doing. If you find that you are always slipping into English because it is easier, you may need to adjust and become stricter with yourself. If your children seem embarrassed or uninterested, you may need to think up something fun and exciting in the minority language to sell it to them.

I could not keep up the "mum speaks one language - dad speaks another one" as it was very disrupting for the family dinamic. Also, if child goes to English school then discussing school, homework, etc in your native language becomes an almost impossible task TBH. Also I kept seeing these mums talk to their DC in their native language and the DC always answering in English because of school and the country they live in, and the mums struggling to get an answer in the other language, and keeping up the two way conversation and it's just a big mess. I didn't want that. So what we've done is: one or two nights a week we speak my language at table during dinner. No other language allowed. Plus: DVDs, books, travelling to my country etc. Plus grandparents visits are great as they force us all to switch. He is not fully bilingual but keeps it up really well and understands 100% so a good level. Plus in secondary school that's a GCSE already in his pocket.

Hardboiled I'm in a similar position, but my family's experience is a lot more positive. I speak english to my children and they speak Flemish to their father, to all their family here, and in their school as well. I am virtually their only source of english.

It hasn't been easy but my girls are 6 and 8 now and bilingual. The family conversations may sound like a mess to outsiders, but in my opinion we have created our own unique way of communicating, with words and sentences in both languages being constantly exchanged. The crucial point is that we all understand each other.

Trying to force my girls to speak english only hindered their communication ability; their english has improved gradually in their own time.

Glad it worked for you belgo! No doubt every family finds its own way. What's important is not to let the minority language die.

I don't think OPOL needs to be as rigid as people make out, especially where both parents speak both languages.

There is (I think greythorne coined the term) 'HOPOL' which is where you go hardcore and only allow communication in your language but even though we do try to follow OPOL to balance exposure I can see it emerging already that (s)he who starts the conversation chooses the language or it becomes impossible. But if I have a choice I always use English and if DH has a choice he tends to use French.

Having worked with children going to school in a language other than English I don't think it's impossible to deal with school and homework in a language which isn't the school language. Harder, yes, but not impossible if you're prepared to insist. But that doesn't always work so you need to find other ways.

DD and I happily talk about her French homework in English - it doesn't cause us any difficulties.

We do OPOL as well (Me - English , DH -Arabic). Satellite TV helps too as we can get Arabic children's programmes for them to watch. Visits to DH's home country every year means that they have to use their arabic as most of the family don't speak anything else.

p.s. DH does DS1's French homework with him in Arabic.

It all sounds more complicated that it first seems and there is not one ideal scenario. I know a few bilingual families and they don't all have the same success. There is a French nursery school the other side of town, i may look into that (when my baby is born!!). It is really helpful to read about all your experiences. I will make sure she has French books and DVDs and that her dad learns French.

I am looking forward to reading more from you all!

Thanks
Dxx

DH and I are both bilingual, as are our extended families. So everyone chops and changes, we never could do 'Italian day' or OPOL. I suppose we just muddled along at first, and they went to a playschool from about five up. Once they went to secondary school they were put into classes a year ahead in Italian, so they started being taught proper grammar etc.

Our DC's Italian improved massively when we went back on holiday too

Frakiosaurus Wed 06-Jun-12 16:37:18

"Having worked with children going to school in a language other than English I don't think it's impossible to deal with school and homework in a language which isn't the school language. Harder, yes, but not impossible if you're prepared to insist. But that doesn't always work so you need to find other ways."

Depends on what the homework is, of course. If it's rehearsing Romeo and Juliet's balcony scene for the Shakespeare festival, it's going to be tough. But maths or chemistry would be fine.

'Depends on what the homework is, of course. If it's rehearsing Romeo and Juliet's balcony scene for the Shakespeare festival, it's going to be tough. But maths or chemistry would be fine.'

True! But that's an opportunity for the parent who speaks that language to get involved in homework I'd put that in the 'doesn't always work' category.

It's being flexible and recognising that there are limits, and sometimes you have to break whatever rules you've set up, but making one it two exceptions doesn't mean giving up on what could work 99% of the time, which I think is where people get discouraged and, instead of developing OPOL (which in principle is a good system for getting balance going) into something that works, give up on it entirely. Which is t if course to say that if you give up on OPOL you give up on bilingualism but anecdotally OPOL seems the method most likely to lead to success without making too much effort*.

*not that OPOL isn't hard but it's simpler to administer and evaluate IMO

In our case, definitely the category of "doesn't always work", Frakiosaurus- dh recites poetry like a dying sheep and has no sense of rhythm; no Juliet could keep a straight face looking down the balcony at him.

But of course I know what you mean, flexibility and perseverance need to find some kind of balance.

In our case this hasn't been OPOL- but we have been very careful to ensure that Swedish doesn't gradually get eased out and forgotten about.

I think we manage by simply being very verbal: I have sometimes heard dd explain the meaning of a Swedish word to her monolingual Swedish cousins and reflected that she probably hears more (and more varied) Swedish than some of her monolingual relatives with rather more taciturn parents. It is one of those areas in life where overall quantity (and perhaps quality) matters more than relative proportion.

I agree very much, cory, that in order to be a very successful (= monolingual standard in both) you need huge quantities of quality exposure to each language.

My parents had my dad speaking in one language only and my mum speaking in the other language only to me. Worked very well.