4 year old still struggling in foundation year at school

[tarranty]

My little girl is a late August baby and I chose to allow her into full time school last September. It's now nearly May and she still cries most mornings, clings to me and says things like 'I have no one to play with' which breaks my heart. I have had about 5 meetings with teachers where I have expressed my concern that she is not fitting in socially and still not enjoying it and the teacher, whom I do trust, says that she is fine when she's there and has intervened by trying to create friendships for her. Her reading and writing is OK, not great but causing no concerns. Would it be too disruptive at this stage to bring her home at lunch times?

Don't bring her home at lunchtimes, it will be disruptive. Does she have many play dates? Could you arrange a few more?
Is there anyway you could spy at break or lunchtime ( I have done this from a hidden vantage point in DC's primary, or you could drop something to the office at the key time). This can help you see if there is anything really wrong.
Then try to drastically alter the routine in the morning for a bit, arrange to drop her off in class early, get another Mum to drop her off or even do the whole taking to school for a bit, or even the dreaded star chart with a star for every time she goes in without tears (then a prize after 5).

Is she happy after school? Does she talk happily about school afterwards? Is she very tired? Does she do any other activities? What is she like there?

I have been a few times to spy, I help out in the class room with reading so I can see and she does seem OK, more like a lost soul really, wondering around trying to grab her brother. I love the school and teacher, my son was in the same class last year and thrived.

We've done a few play dates and she has been invited to parties so must interact sometimes. She does still get very tired, was falling asleep some afternoons before Christmas which is why I thought maybe afternoons back at home would work.

I'm not being neurotic, I have given her plently of time to settle but feel I'm being cruel keeping her there all day every day.

You are right though I'd hate to disrupt any momentum we've created so will take your suggestion on board, THANKS!!

All reception children fall asleep in class before Christmas, and some older kids are ready to too. That's is why DVDs are so good. My DC's school used to turn the book corner into a nap zone. That autumn term is far too long, and utterly exhausting.
I would try to come up with a way of trying to break the habit of tears at drop off.
My DS at nursery was totally happy at drop off, until he noticed that the kids who made a fuss got more attention. So he started to make a fuss, and be given extra hugs, and picked up to wave Mummy goodbye from the window. When I worked out what the problem was I was far less worried. At school he made a bit of a fuss, but that finally stopped when I damaged my ankle so a neighbour had to take him to school for a while.
Also beware if she starts coming home saying her day was awful, sometimes it is just that something happened in the last 5 minutes.

Hi, I've been in the same situation, my DS not wanting to go into school. He's in reception now and born in May. I have been told off many friends, leave them with the teacher and leave with a big smile on your face. It works, as soon as you go, they stop crying!
My DS used to fall asleep in class, but I changed his bedtime routine and he's now stopped.

With regards to having no friends, my DD who is now in Yr 5, spent most of her breaks and lunchtime by herself in reception, not playing with anyone. That soon changed, once she went into YR1, they start to find who they get on well with and then the friendships begins to build. You will also find, that one day they will fall out and the next they are best friends again. That's girls for you!

Whatever you do, don't take her out at lunchtime, because then that's the time they start to build their friendships.

Good luck and don't worry it will work out in the end.