Is there anyway to find how much a private school would give?

[lisad123]

As a bursery? We are considering it for dd1 who is 9. Her school is on notice to improve and the head has left, it's going downhill fast. She G&T in three subjects and in a large class. The school have told me and it's in the Ofstead reports that they spend more time managing poor behaviour than challenging those more able. I completely understand that, behaviour needs to be sorted out but it doesn't help my dd.
Dd1 has HFA, and we feel a smaller class would be better for her, but we are surrounded by large schools.
I have spoken to nearest small private school and they are sending out forms but the lady on the phone couldn't tell me much. She said you fill in a form, send it back, they send someone round to discuss and then decision is set by governors.
Is there a standard idea of earnings vs fees?
We don't earn much and live in a small two bed terrance locally.
I am fully aware of the feelings of G&T on MN. I would also add that dd1 has high functioning autism and we are proud everyday of all the wonderful things she's does, not just the education, she is polite, sweet and has a wonderful laugh :)

Any help would be great

I would say be upfront about any additional needs your dd has as the private school will most likely want a reference from her current school should you apply for a place. There was a thread some time ago where a private school withdrew the offer of a place when they learnt about a child's sn from his primary school reference, which the parents had not disclosed in the application form. The parents were livid and totally slated the school but reading between the lines and knowing something about the school the place could just have likely been withdrawn because of the parents' deceit.

The deputy who is also the SENCO at her current school has offered to write a letter for us.
She has no behaviour that would cause the other children to be effected as most of her difficulties are anxiety and routines.

lisad123, I was upfront about dd1 and it was never a problem. In fact she ended up being made a prefect in year 6 [proud]. There were a couple of issues while she was there (eg at sports day they changed the order of events and she freaked out) and they were always dealt with with kindness and respect. Lovely school :-)

A good private school will be unfazed by any SN so long as they know a plan can be put in place to deal with it. - They are interested in whether the child is right for the school and vice versa. If they can flex enough to take in a few SN children, then they will be delighted to do so - it's another big tick in the box for them when it comes to marketing on the website. And to be fair I think that many exceptionally G&T children can be challenging in different ways, so I am sure very good academic schools really do take this kind of thing in their stride.

In terms of bursaries, you will be amazed what a school can come up with if they really like a child. Money will be found for exceptional children. They just don't advertise this side because they really don't want to be inundated with average kids being pushed forward for places.

FWIW in DCs school you are expected to release equity in your house if there is any, and put that towards fees, and if you have school-age children then both parents are expected to work (health issues notwithstanding). These are two basics. You are also expected to get funded if you have wealthy parents (hahahaha). Once these basics are covered then they will want to know your income/outgoings, and will probably want this every year. I hear a rumour that the HM in DC's school does a 'google earth' to check out the home address on every bursary application he gets before even looking at the application in detail....

But if you are genuinely low income and your child fits in with the school ethos and is G&T I don't think you should be too concerned.

Am glad to hear your DD is going too, that way if you do get turned down for whatever reason you can tell her it is bursary related, and she won't think it's about her

We can't get the house remortgaged. We have some money in the house I would say about £30k but they won't let us remortgage because we can't get a life insurance on dh because he has cancer.
Dd2 is also autistic but has other difficulties too which means a lot of appointments, which makes work hard so only dh works. (his cancer is stable but not curable so his able to work but life insurance still a no no )

Do I take reports from school ect on visit or just hand them in with paperwork. Most adults like dd1, She a very sweet child.
I'm quite nervous about going, don't even know what to wear/take ect

Have you got latest ed psych report, Lisa? I know in the past we've found a comprehensive report v useful for organisations. So having the we hiker or wait test results for the 'gifted' bit, as well as an evaluation of the HFA and how it affects/ doesn't affect her in the school environment?

Or are school going to provide this if you don't have an up to date EP assessment?

Freaking iPad.

Having the wechsler test results, or wiat test results, that should say.

We hiker, my arse.

And level of bursary depends on school. Some posters on the g&t board have been looking for private options (iq of 145+, but nt) and have had some success, but not enough to enable them to move due to financial reasons.

Good luck!

Take any relevant material re:DD - assessments or whatever.

No need to take any income stuff - that will be done later by bursar, not on first visit.

Headmaster will probably be in a suit and will probably meet you in some impressive panelled office. Not to intimidate you, but because that's what many people 'expect'.

Wear something neat, but don't go overboard. They will make judgements on you as well as DD, but you're unlikely to ring alarm bells unless you are covered in tattoos, swearing or doing a diva thing. So long as you're normal they won't care. They will be trying to market themselves to you as much as you will want DD to impress them. Especially true if they think your DD may have exceptional talents that will reflect glory on the school at some stage in the future.

Do I take her amazing art work with me? (think there is some of her paintings on my profile)
EP saw her last week so awaiting her into date report.
I'm thinking, smart wool trousers, top and cardi.
No tattoos, piercings and don't do sweating. I promise I'm normal

By us, some schools publish tables that show fees payable based on income thresholds. Some are a bit more cagey as (I think!) it also depends on how much they want the child to come to the school.

As for burseries, you won't know till you ask. The private near us does not advertise but we asked for my ds and after filling out forms about our income, we had a meeting about our income and why we want ds to attend the school and if our income was likely to increase in the next few yrs and they offered us 70% bursary.

So fwiw ASK cos you never know.

I have forms here and they are only asking basic information, they only ask about wages, captail in the house and credit cards and loans.
Would it be a good idea to include breakdown of out goings?
I have also had to include DDs dla on the form which we use on the girls but guessing they might take that as an income
On paper we have about £350 a month left which seems like a lot, now panic we wont get anything :(
They have asked for payslips and morgage statement which has just come in. Is it worth explaining why we arent able to remortgage the house?

Should add that £350 includes the DLA and only just that much as just managed to pay off credit card and next catolodge.

Don't worry. £350 is peanuts after outgoings.

Given that your circumstances are a little different than normal I'd think it would be a good idea to write a covering letter, explaining about illness, impact on ability to work and inability to remortgage (or SELL) house (Whilst they will be sympathetic to fact you can only mortgage to 3Xincome or similar, they would expect someone with loads and loads of equity to trade down to release funds. Obviously not relevant in your case but you may want to mention that you've thought about it but once you cover moving costs etc there would be nothing left. Or whatever). The key is to make sure you've clearly covered the basics sufficiently to enable them to see clearly your position (whilst trying to avoid writing war and peace).

You may also want to add that of course if your DH recovers you would hope to see an improvement in income and would of course accept that any such changes may affect ongoing bursary entitlement.

Hope it goes well on Monday. From the basics you've given here you sound exactly the type of family that bursaries are designed for.

Sadly dh won't recover there is no cure for him
We can't downsize either as we only have a two bedroom in a not so great area with two girls anyways.
I will be as honest as I can, have got to print out bank statements and our monthly budgeting. Have payslips to send and just awaiting p60's to come in post

Getting nervous already

You'll be fine. Either they'll want your DD or they won't and there's nothing you can do about it. If it's the right school environment for her you'll be OK and if not you move on to develop plan B.

We have all sorts of parents at DCs school. People who own airlines/blue chip companies through to people who scrimp and save and drive round in a rustbucket to get their children through. The kids don't care, the school certainly doesn't care, and the only parents who do care are the ones you wouldn't want to touch with a bragepole anyway.

Good luck, pls report back.

Which are you then?

These forms are pretty standard many think over intrusive but concentrate on a positive outcome, see it as a means to an end and you'll be fine. Do hope it works out for you keep us all informed.

It's weird, it says all the bursaries are offer on means only but think that might be slightly untrue, and have therefore done a covering letter.
Have included all the information they asked for. I haven't told dd1 anything about how she would get it, I don't want her to feel its personal.
Met two lovely boys at badminton club tonight who both went there, they said it was wonderful.
Will update and been great to ask here as haven't told many in rl.

Good luck lisad. I really feel for you as we have been going through something very similar whilst looking for the "right" school for our son. We have finally just started him at a private school this week.
I haven't looked at bursaries because I assumed that we wouldn't get one (and was too embarrassed to go and speak to the bursar about one in case they thought "why on earth do they want a bursary when they earn so much enough?"). But we will really struggle to pay the school fees and your post on here has made my mind up that I should at least ask. So thank you :).

I should add that my son is "speshul" too. High IQ and dyspraxic. (I did have a look in the G&T section on MN, but it was far too scary and aggressive to post anything in there!!).

Our thoughts are that even if we cannot continue with private education for long, any head start we can give him at a school with small class sizes and extra support for him will be so helpful longterm. We are hoping to get him through junior school at the private school and then back into mainstream state schooling. When he is older I feel he will be able to cope with his differences more easily (if they still remain).

Would love to hear how you get on.

DD school offered 50% max bursary while DS school offer 100% bursaries. There are 6 pupils currently on 100% bursaries (large boarding/day senior school with large reserves). DD was on 30%, DS on 35% bursary. DH earn £40k+ and we have our 1st holiday in 3 years in July (DS last term!). The extras have increased the fees each term and it has been a struggle financially but worth every penny.

We loved it. Dd1 was very very quiet and shy but well behaved. The deputy showed us around and we spoke to SENCO there. The school was lovely, small and very much focuses on individual learning and their moto is "it's ok to be different" which I love.
Has submitted bursary forms and now we wait we should hear after half term. They have said they would do extra transition sessions to help dd1.
The other problem we have is the other child with HFA is a good friend of ours, but her mum is very worried and stressed that my dd1 being there is going to cause problems I'm not worried as the girls get on great and they aren't likely to be in the same classes everyday, because they spilt on ability.
Dd1 said she loved all of it, especially the art workshops and the big gardens.
I'm trying not to get excited