Guildford High

[Igloo100]

DD is in year 5, we looked around a few of the Surrey indies and she loved GHS, I am concerned though it is because its where a lot of her friends want to go.
I thought it was a great school, very ambitious and high achieving, nice facilities and the girls seemed polite and cheerful. There was a certain buzz and atmosphere I didn't feel elsewhere. BUT...
It all felt quite 'factory' like and very elite. My DD is bright, likes sport but not obsessed, never done anything musical, loves art, quite quiet and reserved, she has a strong group of friends and her current head said she would come across at interview 'the GHS type' as she can talk enthusiastically about things, is very conscientious and a bit of a perfectionist.
My reservations have come from a current mum who said GHS ticks all the boxes, but they just churn, they don't equip the girls with much more than they begin with. She said for your money you get excellent grades, ambition and the girls tend to have strong friendships. She said the head lacks personal skills to value each and every girl, e.g. doesn't know girls names other than the 'top' ones. I'm told if your daughter starts the sporty type she will be valued for that, and if she is confident and articulate she will excel. However, if she is more introverted and, as GHS standards go, 'mediocure' at everything, needs praise and encouragement, not going to 'have a go' unless pushed and could do with a big confidence boost then GHS may not be the best place. My DD very much is that girl who needs support and a boost as she does lack confidence.
Having looked round a second time with this in mind, I can see my DD just surviving there, probably getting great grades, maybe representing the school in sport but not being 'the best' and would go on to a fab uni. In terms of her personal development I can see she is the type who will freak out in the shadow of the confident, 'best' girls and wouln't have a go unless she feels its ok not to do it perfectly. On a second look and listen to the head's presentation I felt they seem to stretch and stretch the best, show off the best and always thrive for 'the best', there was no acknowledgement not all academically bright girls are confident and resilient from day 1. Some need nurturing, encouraging and pushing at a different level. I just didn't feel GHS had this.

I am stuck- I love the school and the atmosphere, its really inspirational what they achieve and the girls who are confident seem to thrive. I just don't know if my DD will be that GHS girl they like to show off! Just looking around I am getting a sense it cannot cater fully for my DD socially. I looked at Wellington (but expensive), i could see DD thriving much more there, but the academics aren't as good and she wasn't as keen.

Sorry for the ramble- I hope someone can give me more idea if this worry is realistic or just one friend's experience.

I know girls there currently. My observations are that it suits a very academic, not necessarily sporty girl. It seems less materialistic and status driven compared to say Danes Hill or St Catherine's (which might be another to consider as close by, goes through to 18 and also well thought of, gets good academic results and generally seen as v good etc).

Personally, I feel the girls at GHS are down-to-earth and there's a feeling it's 'cool to be smart'. I've also heard the teaching is astoundingly good compared to other, similar calibre schools fairly locally. Particularly in Latin, science and other languages.

The girls I know at GHS are not remotely sporty, or particularly arty etc. They love learning for learnings sake and are stimulated. They're not materialistic in any sense. I haven't noticed them being particularly perfectionist. You can be who you are it seems, whatever that may be. Just my observations. HTH anyway.

I have nannied for two sisters that go there, have also nannied for quite a few children that go to indies. These girls From gh are both lovely down to earth polite girls. Other schools are far more materialistic. These girls seem to enjoy learning.

I would say don't undervalue the importance of your dd's self-esteem. Being 'ignored' as a non 'top' is one thing, but never feeling good enough is another. I have to say, my dd does sound fairly similar to yours, esp the 'perfectionism' and altho' likely to be fine academically, I have discounted GHS. We can try and boost our dcs to not compare themselves to others but let's face it ... that's life.....not to mention the teenage years !

can I ask surreyhousefrau where have you considered other than GHS for your DD?
Is it possible to find an academic school but with perhaps less elitism where my DD would get a boost and be encouraged?

I guess it depends what you mean by an academic school - one with a reputation for academic excellence and 'known' by top unis, or simply a string of A* GCSE's - which I reckon any number of schools in a 20 mile radius would achieve?

I'm not bothered about the former, and as far as GHS goes - added to what I have been told, my gut tells me she will not look back on 'happy school days'.

Trying to measure these 'softer' things is difficult, tbh I have only done a few visits now starting in earnest. have you tried Good Schools Guide? And here's hoping someone knowledgeable and wise will have a few thoughts on 'elitism' - extending to ..... tormead, priorsfield, manor house, clfs, st teresa's ....!!!

What did she like about GHS?

To be honest, some girls I know there seem pretty normal (some are very very bright). Have you looked at the other girls schools locally?
At 16 they all seem to get similar stellar results.
If your DD loves GHS, then maybe it's the right place for her?

I have 2 GHS girls who are very different from each other and they have always felt valued for their individual skills.

My elder daughter (now uni) was the quiet, non pushy less confident type but every teacher in the school knew her name - I can't believe there is a single girl in the school who Mrs B doesn't know by name, tbh.

Neither girl is sporty - no chance of making a team at anything- and there was always encouragement and the chance to find something they liked to do.

It is very academically competitive though and if that's not for you, then you should think carefully. The girls all value their achievements and try to outdo each other in their work - can lead to too much time spent on homework. They are all focussing on the opportunities which their grades will eventually bring them.

But those who get the Oxbridge and med school offers are genuinely congratulated by their year group - there is little jealousy, just pride in the year group. Those who try and don't get the offer they want are supported and encouraged and the care taken in the sixth form to find the right course and right place for each girl is exceptional. And that means Russell group in the vast majority of cases.

I would say if you perform well enough to be offered a place at year 7 then the school will encourage you and support you throughout your time, no matter what your strengths, no matter where you fit in the year group ( lets face it, the majority of the year group get 9 or 10 a and A* at GCSE), and most of the girls in the year will be pretty much like you.

Igloo, I sent you a PM - like gettingalifenow, I have 2 GHS girls and would pretty much agree with what she says. GHS is not for those who are not academically very able, but I do think it has a bit of a bad press for being a grade machine. The girls are well taught and work hard, but (as I have said in more detail by PM) the pastoral care is IME really, really good, and I think it's second to none for treating the girls as individuals. However, it doesn't suit everyone; you might want to look at Tormead.

Agree with most of these replies. Have/had 3 DDs going through GHS and also have worked in education as well as psychology ..and now give talks to parents of teenagers. I can see where your friend is coming from to a degree but it depends how you look at it and interpret it as a parent. If you support the GHS ethos and 'way it works' as such, and reinforce from home how well she is doing, then it will be right for your DD. GHS only becomes power house and too pushy when you get pushy parents always wanting their DD to be/do better!

The atmosphere is such that girls are incredibly hard working, not from the school pushing or setting excessive amounts of homework, simply from the selective nature. All 100 (rough!) girls in each year group are very bright, most have parents who share the same thoughts that they want their DD to have an academic education. Apart from that, they all are very different you get the sporty, the musical, the quieter, the loud, the actresses, the girly girls, the more qwirky etc etc.
I can't say GHS does anything but provide for all. Yes, if your sporty you get to play in the team but if your not you play in lessons and you can play for your house or fun...But they aren't going to force every girl to be interested in things she isnt. Likewise, there is house dance, house drama, house cooking.. the list goes on, catering for every girl.

I guess something you have highlighted is does GHS let girls try new things and push those who aren't natural 'have a go' types to get involved.
From my experience they do to the right level. One of my DDs was I guess a 'floater' she was happy with a good group of friends, did well academically, liked school and quite content with 'just being'.
Her form tutor noticed she wasn't doing anything extra curricular but also, more concerningly, wasn't joining in things like the form dance competition (nearly every other girl in the year took part in some way). She had a chat with DD, very sensitively and recognising the issue was confidence, not laziness. her tutor build her self-esteem up- little things like asking DD to be in charge of the form's charity event. While my DD was allowed to be herself and not pushed to join a sports team or anything DD was just not interested in, last year she was in sixth form and was a deputy house captain and definately valued by the school despite not being 'top' academically, in sports or music or whatever- just for being herself.

...Sorry this is getting long!!...

As OP said, its life that at times some outshine others, things can be competitive and GHS instills the work ethic which means the girls do so well beyond school. My elder 2 DDs are both at/finsihed uni and look back at GHS with great memories, pride and feel it really set them up to succeed in life, not just in their career but also from nurturing and celebrating each individual and i can see in my DDs and their school friends very strong values of love, care, morals and living life with enthusiasm and resilience. Most of all, I see how down to earth the girls are.

I have never seen GHS fail a girl, girls all have varying experiences because they all present different traits, talents, weaknesses etc to the school. I know girls who have goen through terrible adversity and the school supporting them incredibly well, really picking them up and sending them off in Upper sixth confident and well-equipped strong girls. As with all girls, there are girls who find the teenage years very difficult and I cannot express how well GHS is able to help the girls and keep them on track.

I can see why you are worried by your friends post, and for me, as a parent, I found the key thing is to truely support the school, and remember she is comparing herself to 99 other very bright, often very pretty, very talented, girls. You need to be reminding her of this and that she is equally as bright, talented etc etc. I have seen parents fall in the trap of comparing their DDs to the other girls, pushing them to do more but not also instilling the idea they don't have to be perfect at everything, its about having a go and doing what you enjoy. She is only going to sink if she is drained of confidence and never praised ...and the first place she wants recognition of what shes done right from, is you!

Hope this helps- sorry I got a bit passionate about it all!!

Wow, happymum, great post. Just wanted to recognise the effort in putting that post together and to say I agree with everything you say.

I agree. What a great post from happymum.

However, I can appreciate Igloo's concerns because I had the same concerns about DD#1 going to GHS. We are coming to the end of her year 7 and I can honestly say that whilst DD#1 hasn't become one of the brightest stars in her year group, she seems happy to be who she is. DD#1 is like happymum's DD - a 'floater'; happy with a good group of friends, doing well academically, likes school and quite content with 'just being'." She is not hugely sporty but she participates. GHS receives some pretty unfair press - if it was true, DD#1 would feel intimidated by the success of others on the sports field, in the orchestra, on the stage and in the classroom - but she doesn't. Her first year at GHS has demonstrated the relationship between effort and success - when she has worked hard (in whatever area of life at GHS), the recognition follows fairly swiftly, encouraging a good attitude for life and work ethic. It is unlikely that she will get her name in lights amongst such glorious stars as she just is not pushy enough, however, I am confident she will leave GHS with good self esteem and confidence in her abilities. DD#1 does not feel that she is part of a grade machine - a criticism I think is unfairly levied at schools that get outstanding academic results (DD#1 was at LEH junior - another school attracting this inaccurate criticism).

DD#2 is also in year 5 and is as keen as mustard to join her sister at GHS. DD#2 is more likely to fit the profile of the typical GHS girl so a concern for me there is that she may develop the arrogance and/or sense of entitlement that GHS girls are sometimes criticised for. I am confident, however, that GHS will support us in dealing with any trends towards unattractive behaviour - just as they have been supportive of the efforts that DD#1 has made, rewarding her with recognition when she has earned it.

Good luck with your decision igloo.

I'm really not happy with GHS. My DD is doing amazingly well, but it's still not good enough. She is a happy confident girl but because she's not more forceful & driven & gets a bit lost in the strong characters there she must be withdrawn and emotionally damaged. She works hard and does her best which is far above national standards, but they push for more. The school have far too high an opinion of themselves & think they know everything about everyone & know better than the parents, try to interfer in private home life and god help you if you're a parent/family who doesn't fit the GHS mould. I want DD to have a good education but not at the expense of her happiness or wellbeing. I'm torn between removing her ASAP and waiting it out to see how things develop over the next academic year, but I think we'll be leaving.

There is plenty of choice if you don't like GHS. It isn't the right school for some girls.

Often negative comment comes from parents whose daughters cannot pass the exams to get into these academic schools. GHS is 16th on the FT league table of all schools and like my daughters' schools which are similar it will be ful of bright girls. Some will be more outgoing than others but it will be a good school for your daughter, I'm sure.
rankings.ft.com/secondary-schools/secondary-schools-2011