Parent/Teacher Meeting - What to ask?

[Earlybird]

Have a parent/teacher session on the horizon with dd's reception teacher. What sorts of questions might engage the teacher so that meaningful and constructive conversation takes place?

We've met once before, and I had the distinct impression she was trying to answer questions in the briefest way possible without actually saying anything of substance. On the one hand, perhaps it meant that there were no large issues to address, but I felt I left the meeting knowing not much more than when I went in. Very unsatisfying. Oh, and if it matters, dd is at a private school.

Any tips on how to approach this so I get real information, and not the standard polite-but-firm fob off?

Open-but-specific questions, I guess: "what are her strengths/weaknesses? Where has she done well/come on since she started, & where does she need more help? What bits of school does she specially enjoy/struggle with? What could I be doing to help?"

In my experience, vaguer questions like "how is she doing socially" just get "oh fine" and nothing further of any substance.

Also from experience: teachers don't generally like to be asked comparator questions, as in how her reading level compares with what the rest of the class are on. (Even though as parents that's our burning question.)

Is she making progress....not 'is she top, bottom' but is she progressing as they would expect. As there any areas that could need some support.

Is she happy, does she play with her classmates in an age appropriate way

Hi EarlyBird, we went to DD1's reception parent/teacher session and I swear that every tenth word was "fine". So we came away with the knowledge that DD1 is "fine" and that there are "no worries". As the parent of an internationally adopted child, I know that about 90% of that adoption community would kill for a reception assessment like that, but it is still mildly deflating.

I don't know if this is a professional thing, but DD1's teacher was resolutely tepid and whilst I don't want or look for gushing, it would have been nice to hear something along the lines of "DD1 has a beautiful sweeping action when cleaning the blackboard...".

IMHO, provided everything is 'fine', unless you have had extensive training in hypnotism or undergone a few months immersion in interrogation techniques at Guantanamo Bay, you are unlikely to obtain 'anything of substance'.

One mildly amusing note: our current nanny is a NZ Reception teacher with 8 years experience and she has admitted that she mostly fobs off parents with bland statements about 'good progress'. When we came back from the parent/teacher interview she was desperate to know how it had gone. Nothing to report - all fine. Hah - boot's on the other foot!

Issymum like your blackboard comment. I've just seen dd's Recpetion teacher this morning as the school has closed for this Parent/Teacher Consultation Day. Her teacher is lovely, though not gushing, and I asked what level reading book dd should be aiming for by end of this year (July). She didn't like to commit but says dd is doing really really well at reading and writing - so that's good (isn't it?). Her number work doesn't seem as good but is 'fine' and she hit someone the other day who was pushing her so her social skills are fine as well and . I'm happy though

Hi everyone. Thanks for your suggestions which were extremely helpful, and assisted me in having a substantive conversation with the teacher about dd.

Like you Issymum, I felt that a hurried 10 minutes at parent/teacher night was not sufficient to have a meaningful conversation. So, this most recent meeting with dd's teacher was a "stand alone" meeting at my request. I wanted to follow up on comments made on dd's end of term report to see how/if the "areas for improvement" (both academic and social) should be addressed.

At our first meeting (in the fall) the teacher was cautious and didn't say much of substance. This time, the teacher was very responsive to my queries. Not sure whether it was a case of the "right" questions being asked to encourage constructive/productive conversation, or whether this teacher has figured out that she can be frank with me as I'm not an over-anxious "problem" mum.

Anyway, the end result is that I now feel I have a real ally in the teacher, and that we will work together to help dd continue to develop into a happy, confident child who is working to full potential of her abilities.

Hi Earlybird, I'm glad it was a constructive session and that you have made an ally! I'm honing up my interrogation techniques for next half-term and will arrive at the parent-teacher meeting with a portable, handy cattle-prod and a full set of thumb-screws.

Hmmm....might be effective Issymum, but I'd take along a bright interrogation light too, just to be sure you get the information desired!

Thanks again everyone for your help...

Earlybird - hoping you spot this - may I CAT you about schools? Am I right that your daughter's school is a girls-only one? We are starting to think about moving dd and it may just be that the school yours is at is one of the ones recommended to us ...

Hello Bink - yes, please do CAT me. You're correct, dd is at a girls only school. Happy to provide any advice/assistance.