The School my daughter wants to go to is out of question, I am not a snob, but really it is awful, you know when you just know there is no way you could send your child there? we are in catchment ( I think?)and her best friend is going there(another reason I am not keen! another story though...)We will look round it when there is an open evening but results and general opinion make me think it will still be bottom of our list.
I have been thinking of the back up thing yes, but it is so difficult to know what schools are really like, I want it to have good results but more importantly I want her to fit in and for the school to have extra curricular activities she would be interested in. We knew of Tiffin because of parents at my daughters school,some others are wanting to get their girls there too, we don't actually know anyone whos child goes there (hence why I thought it was in Richmond!) and we know a little about Bucks grammars because of my mother in law teaching at one of them. Thats why I asked on Mumsnet because I wanted to know more about grammar schools than the results they get and what the websites say. I wanted other parents honest opinions.
You are right though we need to be looking at a school in an area that has good comp and grammar (a bigger mortgage needed me thinks!)but also my husband will need to commute so that is another consideration.
As for my daughter having a say in the school, it may sound harsh, but wanting to be with her friend is not a good enough reason for me to send her to the school she says she wants to go to, we always knew we would move away when it came to high school. A lot of the children at her school move away in year 6 for high schools. We get a list each year of where they have all gone, not many go to the local schools, some go to grammar, some private and others go to high schools in the home counties. Of course when we start looking round she will have a say and I wouldn't send her to a school she hated so if that meant not sending her to grammar then we wouldn't. When she is in year 6 we will discuss it with her in more detail, at the moment she is more interested in Lizzie Mcguire than which high school she will go to!