The parents at dd's state school all live in £600k houses - how can I invite them to my lowly abode?

[mousiemousie]

My dd goes to a state school in an area where property prices are high.

Nearly all the other kids (at least 25 out of 30) live in £600k houses and I feel really embarrassed to invite their kids to my shabby little flat. It's not even very clean as I hate housework. Any advice or anyone else giving themselves grief over this?

they're probably just being thoughtless rather than showing off. Let them judge you - and you judge them - on yourself not where you live, otherwise they're not worth it! Easy to say I know! Ds has friends who are, house-wise, much "richer" and "poorer" than us, I must admit to the odd feeling of with the former but otherwise not too bothered either way, that's life isn't it??

"How can so many folk afford £600k houses AND kids when they are not even 40?!! "

Perhaps they bought the houses eons ago when they were still 'cheap' and the value has simply increased??

A lot of people have huge amounts of debt. Still others get help from their families to purchase homes.

or mortgaged to the hilt with stressed out but well-paid dh/dw I guess!

we have a similar problem although not only is our house tiny it is in a horrible area!

Our own fault for sending her to a school in middleclass suburbendom but its a really good school and the one here is terrible.

We do have friends over but the distance makes it difficult. So in order to make everyones like easier we are moving closer to the school!

We are going to have a huge mortgage tho! and the new house is still much smaller than most of Dd's friends! hey ho

Even if they bought these houses ages ago they would NEVER have been cheap!!

Or maybe even dual fulltime income. Or City bonus. Or inheritance/rich parents.

MM - don't worry too much about it. OK, so they have more money than you. So? You might have something else they don't. We never know what really goes on in other people's families and what a confident exterior hides.

DS has been to play at other children's houses, others have come to our flat. As long as the entrance hall is presentable, I don't worry about it. Perhaps I'm not friendly enough but I don't invite people in for a chat at pick-up time.

Example

First house cost 130k joint income joint income 43k

Sell first house make 195k three years later. So 75k deposit on second house.

Buy 2nd house for 310k (needed a lot of work but is big) Blag 270k mortgage ( 5X income know people at the bank)Rest of cash spent doing up house. Borrow extra 30k to finish doing up house so total debt 300k) We were very skint.

3year later 600k house

We are not rich or posh this is just an example of how people can get 600k house. DH is 30 btw I am 32.

who cares? if it is teh sort of people who care, then I wouldn't wnat them in my house.

But Passionflower, a £300k mortgage costs around £1700 a month!!! That is exactly what I mean! It is another world!

I feel bad coz ours is rented. We're educated, Dh has a good job, but a few years ago he got ill just as DS3 was due, lost his job, WTC did their usual and hey presto! house gone! Not repo'd, but may have been if we hadn't sold first.

So I what I really want to say is, don't worry. Our house is nice but not ours. Others may envy things you can't imagine (don't know your situation, but her dh isn't working a 22 hour day / sleeping with his secretary / her kids aren't spoiled / her MIL doesn't check the cleaning / she can afford to eat without the worry her mortgage won't be paid). People are far more complex than' my house is bigger nah nah de nah nah' although as I said,I get paranoid about the rented bit so can empathise.

mm, I really wouldn't worry. They may live in £600K houses, but it doesn't make them nicer, tidier, cleaner, more educated, wealthier people etc etc! Houses may look nice on the outside but they can still be dumps on the inside - trust me I've in a few LOL including my own at times

Mine is never clean or tidy . But I am nice (sometimes!). As posters have already said people who care about things like that aren't worth knowing.

In my experience all the kids care about is how much fun they have when they're there. If they're used to immaculate surroundings where they can't muck about and chill out they'll probably love visiting somewhere more relaxed.