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Original poster

Help me help him

9 replies

amIbored · 05/02/2006 11:00

DS is in year 1, we had a letter home this week that he's in a group of children who are getting extra help to take off with their reading and writing, they use the GINN system and he's on level 3, I've no idea if this is good, poor or average. He is a bright kid, he has no problem using the computer, experiments, building, drawing - but he really resists reading and writing.

I've just left him in tears with his dad before I cried in front of him, he can read when he gets going but it's a battle getting him going. I've promised a trip to the park and cake making once he's finished.

I just feel like I can't do this, I'm finding myself getting frustrated as he messes about, then ends up in tears.

Generally he messes about quite a lot, stupid noises, and obviously prefers to play than sit and study, but he is only 5.

any advice ?

OP posts:

Majorca · 05/02/2006 11:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mandieb · 05/02/2006 11:53

lucky you getting extra help this is a really positive thing .

Furball · 05/02/2006 11:55

Just a thought - but has he had an eye test? He may well not beable to see the words/letters very well.

BudaBabe · 05/02/2006 12:00

It may just not be "clicking" yet. They are all different.

My DS is 4.5 and in Reception. He is starting to get it. We went through a phase where the teacher was going to stop sending books home (!) but decided to send games instead. That helped.
As did the Jolly Phonics system - you can get the books at ELC.

I have noticed with my DS that if we do little and often it is better. As soon as he starts to lose interest I stop. Boys of that age are full of testosterone and energy and find it hard to sit still for long.

And I understand just how temtping it is to lose it with them - but try not to or it will become a big battle.

dexter · 05/02/2006 12:33

sorry you're feeling so strssed about this - try to remember that in this country we start school very young, and he's only five.

My mum (very wise womanand teacher!) was told that my db was struggling with reading but she just did not get drawn into it - told the teacher "As long as he can read by the time he leaves school, I'm not wirried". Obviously she made sure there were no real probs and took up help for him, as you're doing - but further than that, she would NOT go! It just doesn't matter. I'd say as long as he is having a go, even if for a very short time, then fine. As others have said he's a very young boy and at the mercy of his body's need to use his energy - so he's not messing about to be a pain, he just has to be active.

One teacher I knew said that when she came accross active boys for whom writing was a bore, she's take them out into the payground with chalk and get them to write things as huge as possible. This isn't reading I know but it's thinking about things creatively isn't it, which should help.

Good luck and take the long view! He'll be fine and you are doing all you can.

dexter · 05/02/2006 12:34

really must proof read my messages, sorry for 'wirried', meant worried obviously!

mandieb · 05/02/2006 13:27

How about reading boy related things I know this sounds daft but cars things and road signs ,anything really .

calpopscalum · 05/02/2006 14:00

some of those kids magazines work well for boys too. You know the Thomas ones etc. I know it may not be classic literature but if he likes it and is interested in it, he's more likely to sit and read it. One of the teacehrs I work with in Y1 uses this and it definately works well for the boys. As long as they're getting into reading does it matter if it's 'curriculum approved' or not?!

soapbox · 05/02/2006 14:15

amI bored.

Boys are much slower it would seem to develop reading and writing skills. I'm not terriby sure that the younger end of the national curriculum really does anything to promote the types of learning that work for boys.

I know how hard it is to feel they are not achieving as much as they can, but getting yourself in a state and crying in front of him!!!! Well how on earth is that going to help? All you are doing is reinforcing the idea that he is failing!

What you describe is just boy early years behaviour. I bet that the maority of those who are in the 'needing help' group are boys!

Just try and relax - turn reading into a enjoyable pastime - you read a sentence, he reads a sentence. You pick a work from the text and see if he can find it before you count to 3 etc etc.

I have discussed these issues at great length with an educational phycologist, a SENCO, a SENCO in training and a SALT.

All of them are firmly of the view that early years schooling is doing a total disservice to our boys and that major changes are needed if we are to avoid turning many boys off school for life!

Boys prefer depth (the quest for facts) not breadth and have comparitively poor fine motor skills at this age. We are in many ways asking them to do the impossible, and layering more pressure on top of this is not going to help! So please, please try and relax and just concentrate on making learning enjoyable - whatever that may mean to your child

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