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Original poster

Would you send your kids to private school if money were no option?

277 replies

Beetroot · 04/02/2006 20:04

and if so why? or why not?

Mine go to a private school. I justyfy it tom myslef becase they are specialist musicanans, they have 'special needs' which would not be fufilled in the state sector (round 'ere anyway)

Was totally against it though, until I fell into it by mistake!

OP posts:
mazzystar · 04/02/2006 21:20

Nope. Not under any circumstances.

We probably could afford it. But I don't believe there is any chance of the state sector improving if parents send their children to private school.

My DH would disagree, he went to the same private school from age 5 to 18 and it was the only stability he had in his incredibly unsettled childhood.

mazzystar · 04/02/2006 21:21

Should add I also went to a private secondary school on a scholarship. Neither loved nor hated it.

jenkel · 04/02/2006 21:22

No

DD's state reception class number is 12, so class size not an issue yet.

I want them to have a balanced education and to mix with lots of different people and social situations that I dont feel a private school can offer.

I dont want to put any pressure on them at all and I'm not sure that I could do that if I was paying a shedload of money for them to go to school.

jampots · 04/02/2006 21:23

I think it really depends on the child and the school (and the choice of other schools in the area).

Hulababy · 04/02/2006 21:36

My DD will be going to private prep school in September. We have looked at a number of schools, both state and private in the area and we have slected the school that we feel wil best suit her, her personality and her needs.

IMO paying to go to private school is no different to paying to move into the "right" area to go to a good state school.

We are fortunate to be in a position where we can afford to pay if we wish too, and we only have one child which makes it easier too.

I have no moral/ethical issues over this decision. I have made the decision for my child and my family's requirements.

I have given enough of my time/energies to state school already. I don't need to feel guilty over that, that is for sure!

And if the school we have chosen for DD doesn't work out to be the best for her, I will be more than prepared to relook at all the alternatives again.

dinny · 04/02/2006 21:38

Jenkel, where do you live (ish)?? Tiny class size - thought our state infant school was tiny at 20 a class.

ladymuck · 04/02/2006 21:41

Yes, we do.

I do think the diversity thing works both ways. Ds1 went to our local playgroup. I was the oldest mum (at 33) and the only graduate. Ds1 was the only child who had a nanny around, and the only one who took more than 1 holiday each year.

Whilst ds must learn that he is very fortunate I don't want him to stand out due to that. At 3 and 4 it wasn't an issue, but I felt that it would become so. I also feel that he is more likley to achieve his potential in an environment where boys are expected to do well.

WideWebWitch · 04/02/2006 21:48

Scums, re up against the wall, last fag, bang bang - *I don't smoke any more either! What would it be, last glass of Chablis? (Well done on giving up too!)

roisin · 04/02/2006 21:50

In our current setting I would send the boys to their current state school, not private, even if money no object - because I think it's better. (There's only one private primary within reasonable travelling distance.)

But if money no object, there are plenty of state primaries in the country I would object to iyswim.

And secondary would/will definitely send private.

JoolsToo · 04/02/2006 21:58

only if the state school was really sh*t!

I don't believe you should have to pay for education - but if push came to shove and I could afford it I would.

(If the state school was sound - I'd pay for any music lessons or whatever separately)

tamum · 04/02/2006 22:00

We could afford it but are still choosing not to. It never entered my head at primary level; I have agonised a bit over whether we are doing the right thing now ds is starting High School, but have decided to stick with state education. I'm happy with that decision. .

The thing is, much as I would like to man the barricades along with you Scummy, I know that if I'd been in the catchment areas for some of the schools here I would have abondoned all my principles, so I don't really feel I can claim to have any now

I should add though that I have definitely come across a number of cases of students from private schools really struggling, and in fact being thrown out, because they had been coached within an inch of their lives to get them into medical school. It does no good in the end, they have to be able to study on their own.

ScummyMummy · 04/02/2006 22:02

So far
21 pretty definite yes to private if possible
15 pretty definite no
4 not sure or variant of

WideWebWitch · 04/02/2006 22:03

Tamum, I would have put a LOT of money on my not abandoning my principles 2 years ago.

tamum · 04/02/2006 22:05

Well quite, www. When you're faced with the reality it's very difficult to stay principled when it's not you who will be actually living them...

tamum · 04/02/2006 22:06

Them? I mean it, the reality, I think.

ScummyMummy · 04/02/2006 22:07

Not sure i have any principles to abandon really

Hazellnut · 04/02/2006 22:30

Until i had dd there was no way... DH and I were both state educated and did well by it. Having said that, I was sent to a state school out of catchment because it was such a good school and my local wasn't.

One of my concerns about private schools is the fact that most are single sex but where we live, the secondary state schools are single sex.

I found myself having to (shamefacedly) admit that I think I would like to send dd (and any future siblings) to private school if we could. However, at a secondary level, we have a top selective secondary state school in the area so providing they got in, I think this would be as good as, if not better, than a private school. The non-selective girls school is good too and currently we only have a dd but if we had a ds I would not want him to go to the non-selective state school and I would not want to offer private education to one and not another.

MOstly, I hate the fact I have to sort of decide now and dd has only just turned 1. Think we will get her name down for a non selective private primary, but try her for a GDST (or whatever they're calleed ) school IF she doesn't get in to the one good state primary in the area.

Apologies, have waffled on but its been on my mind a lot lately (and have had too much wine ).

Original poster
Beetroot · 04/02/2006 22:33

www, me too about 5 years ago it would not have netered my head that I wouldhave dones this

OP posts:
Blondeinlondon · 04/02/2006 22:33

Yes private for sure

puff · 04/02/2006 22:35

Yes.

starlover · 04/02/2006 22:35

i would definitely send ds to a private school.

in fact, i am thinking of putting his name down anyway, and hoping that we can afford it when the time comes.... i think we probably could, but not for more than 1! and i want another baby...

that said, if he turns out to be particularly good at anything, i may well go down the scholarship route with him.
the family i worked for send their 5 boys to a private school and all but 1 of them has a scholarship

harpsichordcarrier · 04/02/2006 22:36

no, absolutely not
if dd's weren't happy at a particular school, if I had the money then I would move house to a different catchment area
if things were really bad then I would home ed
the only exception might be, like Bettroot, for a cathedral school

GDG · 04/02/2006 22:40

At this stage, no, but the state primary that he goes to (and ds2, ds3 will go to) is excellent and I don't think a private school could offer him anything better. Some prefer smaller class sizes but his class size is not an issue and I'm more than prepared to put work in myself to supplement school time.

He might not do x,y and z activity in school - but he does them out of school which I actually prefer - he mixes with children outside of his school, different children, different teachers, different environment.

Would pay at secondary because state option crap if they don't pass 11+.

Tommy · 04/02/2006 22:46

secondary school definitely - but only because we have a very good private secondary school 10 mins walk from here and the state school choice is pretty poor - but the LEA are trying to sort it all out so hopefully, by the time DS1 gets there, it shoudl be oK!

GDG · 04/02/2006 22:52

Agree with Hula really re: moving to catchment. The catchment for ds1's school is very expensive, you pay a premium for the school (amongst other things) and it's certainly not affordable for everyone. Was talking to a mum today actually at a kids party, who moved into the area specifically for the school - she's a paediatrician though so unlikely to be poor!