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Original poster

What would you do - accept the offer?

18 replies

wednesdaysschild · 27/03/2012 18:18

If ExP's new partner offered to pay school fees for your DS to attend one of the top independent schools in country would you accept?

OP posts:

Fourcatsonthebed · 27/03/2012 18:25

Probably not as indi school is a long term commitment. Will their New partner be about and still feel the same for 7 or 8 years?

QED · 27/03/2012 18:27

Would depend on how happy I felt about the school they currently went to. Would probably wonder exactly why they were doing it tbh and my natural reaction would be no but that would more be because I am still rather too bitter about XH having a partner who isn't me iyswim. Right at the moment as I am v happy with DCs schools I'd probably say if they had spare money to save it in sone other way for rhe childten ie for university.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 27/03/2012 18:29

Do you have other children and if so will this person pay for them too.....

Doubt I would accept for same reason as fourcats

Original poster

wednesdaysschild · 27/03/2012 18:44

DS is only child and only 3 so not due to start reception till 2013. I'm highly unlikely to have any more DC's.

Fourcatsonthebed that's one of my concerns too.

OP posts:

AngelEyes46 · 27/03/2012 21:07

If you hadn't have got this offer, what school would you have gone for. Would you be happy with your local school?

IndigoBell · 27/03/2012 21:24

I'd accept it if I was in favour of indie schools in general and the logistics of getting him there was fine.

Also does it have Sat school?

Will the longer holidays suit you?

ie if I liked private schools and the logistics of the school were fine I'd accept.

IndigoBell · 27/03/2012 21:24

(But I wouldn't accept because I wouldn't want my kids to go to one of the top independent schools in the country because it sends shudders down my spine)

Dozer · 27/03/2012 21:26

No, because they might change their mind, eg if they have DC, or their financial circumstances could change. Might be OK if they have a big fat lump sum they can tie up legally and financially to pay the fees for X years.

IndigoBell · 27/03/2012 21:28

Them changing their minds wouldn't be the bit that worries me.

Because I don't think it matters if a child moves school.

EdithWeston · 27/03/2012 21:32

I'd avoid making any decision now.

Depending on your available schools, you might be able to start DS at reception, 7+, 8+, 11+ or 13+ (or ad hoc at other times) depending on which school/s you might be aiming for and what their admissions procedure is.

If this offer is still in place in 4 or so years time, then it might be worth a think about it. By which time you'll have a better idea if exH's new household is reliable, and - much more importantly - what DS is like and what sort o school woul suit him.

Yellowtip · 27/03/2012 22:37

No I wouldn't accept. It's fraught with potential problems.

But I'm interested to know why any of you suppose getting in to this particular school is a given if the child hasn't even started Reception. Or what suggests that this particular school will suit this particular child when the time comes, eight to ten years hence .

Original poster

wednesdaysschild · 27/03/2012 23:07

Thanks for your replies.

I am not going to accept anything at this point. The school is 3-18.

I think the best course for DS is to continue with what I would have done had this offer not come our way (local "good" state primary) and then reconsider at 7.

OP posts:

Heswall · 27/03/2012 23:15

Yes, but I would want some sort of guarantee like the fees paying upfront for a few years.

DoubleGlazing · 27/03/2012 23:17

AwkwardMary · 27/03/2012 23:17

I would if the fees were placed in a trust fund of some kind so that my child were protected as it were. Otherwise no.

IndieSkies · 28/03/2012 21:19

No.
The partner is 'new'.
I would feel beholden.
I would want to see a genuine step family situation develop first, with a long term committment.
I would want to make the decisions, in dialogue with my ex / the child's father, not based on an idea from a step parent.

Why is the DP proposing to do this?

Greenshadow · 29/03/2012 13:31

Depends on the schools.

Not all independent schools are necessarily better than a state school.

But if it is a really good one and there were no other strong reasons to say 'No' (i.e. distance), then I would be strongly tempted.

Our children are state educated, but I know some children who have been through the private system and they do tend to get a very rounded education and expectations seem to be much higher than in the state schools. Think the latter is actually quite significant.

Original poster

wednesdaysschild · 29/03/2012 19:27

I've little doubt that DS would be exposed to wider opportunities and experiences in this independent school, it's not an academic hot-house but I've absolutely made my mind up that it's going to be "no" for lots of reasons many of which have been mentioned.

OP posts:

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