Would you write me some silly little sentences that would amuse DS (5) as notes

[Twiglett]

Have found that DS hates reading books at the moment but loves receiving notes from DH and I but am running out of steam.

he is doing jolly phonics so need to be quite simple words

he is scatalogical and silly .. notes so far include

Daddy is a poo
I see a shark, the shark will bite [name] nose
Mummy loves [name] and daddy and [DS]

Daddy eats worms for lunch

Daddy is a big poo.

Mummy loves poo.

We all love to see a big poo.

I see what you mean, it wears quite thin quite quickly doesn't it?

Mummy is a wee (someone had to put that one)

The poo is in the loo

(or if you want it in Ladybird style: "See Peter, see the poo! The poo is in the loo!"

Can you do them so they make up a story told bit by bit? Might tempt him back onto books.

Once upon a time there was a big poo called Whiffy...

Daddy has big feet
Daddy made a smell
cat food for tea

Mine thought it funny to be given notes with commands such as:
Give me/? a hug/kiss/etc
Go to bed (it works!)

I used to do treasure hunts for this age group, and write a note directing them where to find the next note, e.g. "look under your bed". At the end of the hunt there would be a 'prize' (choccie biscuit quite popular)

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I like tamum's. "See the poo run! Run, poo, run!"

Shall we start up a rival reading scheme FrannyandZooey? I think it could catch on...

There is a book called Vesuvius Poovius that you must get from your local children's library, Twiglett. It's the current big hit in our household.

is that 'jump' as in sex lockets ???

the sentence makes no sense if its not a verb [snurk]

Have you got that game Silly Sentences? Ds LOVES it and KILLS himself laughing over the sentences.

Have just asked him which one he particularly liked and it was 'The hairy crocodile saw the scary mouse'.

DS1 loved Silly Sentences too!

Someone gave us those magnetic words which DS1 loved at this kind of stage. We would make up daft things like "Can the school jump?" which he thought was very funny.

Do you have any involved and happy-to-help relations/grandparents? My parents used to send short postcards or letters which DS1 loved getting.

See if you can get a copy of one of the books from Red Nose Readers (Ahlberg) they are full of this stuff.

Examples

Cat
Cat No Ears
Cat No Tail
Cat No Whiskers
No Cat, etc. etc. etc...!

I've written ds's favourite words on the cardboard from a cereal packet - cut them out and put them in an envelope - he pulls out words and makes them into nonsence sentances.
We haven't got 'poo' in there yet (got shark though)

Try the Red Nose Readers. Dulwich library has them. They are funny and really, really easy and very short.

Oh no! The cat did a wee on daddy!
Help! There is a big poo on [ds name]
I want a big hug from you!
kiss kiss kiss kiss!

Aha Aloha! Great minds think alike, or something!