How can I help my 'annoying' ds?

[juliab]

I'm looking for some wise words from you lot out there! My ds1 who's 7 and in year 3 is not finding it easy at school at the moment. He says his classmates tell him he's annoying and a show-off and that they all make a big fuss of refusing to sit next to him at lunch. He's stunned to hear all this. He's always loved school. He is very confident, though, and very enthusiastic about school stuff, so I suppose he could well be annoying in a smart-alecky kind of way. I want to help him modify his behaviour in class but I don't want to knock his confidence and enthusiasm. How should I tackle this?

Does the teacher rely on him to know answers a lot? This can cause problems IME.

Thanks WharfRat - that's a good idea - he'd be happy with that, I think. And, Hunker, I have already talked to his teacher and she wasn't that helpful - she just said he knows a lot and is keen to show it which she considers to be a good thing but that the class is full of children with 'very strong opinions' and I shouldn't be too surprised if he's finding it hard!

juliab, no advice on this as I'm mum to a younger ds but just wanted to say your boy sounds really lovely and I hope you can all sort it without him losing his enthusiasm, bless him!

juliab, boundless sympathies.
I'm not sure if this is a reassurance or not, but ds, in Year 2, is at present coming home and venting about an annoying child in his class who seems to strike the same sparks with everyone as your ds.
I listen with sympathy to ds' tales of bumptious, cocky little X, but at the same time I encourage him to think hard about why X might be behaving like this, and if there is anything other people in the class can do to help him out a bit instead of just giving him a hard time.
I just wanted to say that it's hopefully possible that other parents are hearing such tales from their children and encouraging them to cut your ds some slack, and be a bit less mob-handed about the matter.
Sorry the teacher isn't more help though.
Does your ds have a best friend in the class - he really doesn't sound like he deserves this treatment . He sounds like a great little guy.

at teacher's attitude! Can you go back to her and say whilst you're not surprised he's finding it hard, you'd appreciate her help to make it easier for him?

Have had similar experience with my DD - very lively tom boy type, too outgoing for the girls and too bossy with the boys.
We have improved things by organised plenty of play dates, talking about playing the others? games and not making them always do what she wants etc etc
The lunch thing must be hard for him, poor love.
Have you had a quiet word with the dinner ladies to see if they notice anything? I have found that the dinnerladies (also do playground duty) are much better at clocking the social issues at school than her (very good otherwise) class teacher.

You are all so lovely! I've had more support, encouragement and wise words from you in the last half hour than I've had from my RL friends all week! Thank you.
Yes Marina he does have two close friends - both quite quiet types, interestingly - so he's not completely lost. And I do hope the parents of his classmates are as understanding as you - although I doubt it in some cases - one of the things my ds is most upset about is one child (whom he likes a lot) telling him his mum didn't want him to come to his party because she only wants the quiet kids...
And yes I will talk to the teacher again - and the dinner ladies (great idea, LemonT). Onwards and upwards...