WWYD?

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

I have posted in parenting but would be keen to hear others thoughts.

Oldest DS (4) starts school in September. He is currently at a nursery which is part of an excellent Prep school. He loves it, lots of outdoor ed, climbing trees etc. It also has excellent wrap around care and as I work 3 days a week term time only, the days he goes are easy to get him there, pick up etc. Very little stress on us all. My second child (2) can now also start if we want him too. But we would be hard up, no nice breaks away, watch the pennies every month and I would have to work full time.

Our local state school is good. We would financially be much better off if he went there. I can continue to work part time and we can have lovely breaks away every half term. I can be at home for youngest child. But....drop offs and pick ups are going to be a nightmare. The small village we live in has no childminders. We have lots of family locally so we could manage but it would be disjointed and stressful as I also need to get youngest DS to nursery. Once they are both at the school it will be much easier as they do have a breakfast club, sadly this isn't much use in sep as I can't get there, drop of 2nd DS and get to work on time. I worry oldest DS will struggle with changes of routine all the time...well 3 days a week.

My final option is to reduce my hours to 2 days, ironically we would almost be as poor as the private school option.

So what do I do.? DH has no involvement in childcare as he is total arse (another thread!). Feel overwhelmed and under pressure and could really do with DH giving a dam!
Ok here goes!

a) I work full time and both DC go to private school (I have looked at fees for Y5 and Y3 as an example) we would have £900 left per month after bills.

b) I work 3 days and juggle child care with DC at state school. We have £1500 left after bills.

c) I work 2 days and DC go state. We have £1100 left.

I guess with option b, we would be able to save for secondary ed which at the moment is over 2k a month for 2 DC from my research :0

Thanks for reading this epic!Any thoughts?

Personally id go for one, but then we manage with £500 after bills and save.
I guess it depends how you are willing to let your lifestyle suffer. Ie is it really important to have trips every half term?

Best of luck

No its really not that important.....I was just trying to make option b sound better! My main worry though is saving for secondary as we cant afford 2k a month.....

If you have a good state primary and less good state secondaries I would consider option c) until your youngest starts school and then option b). You could probably save a bit under option c).

Alternatively give your DH an almighty kick up the backside and point out that his unhelpful attitude is losing the family money.

Oh lord, I don't know. I guess for me it would come down to:

(a) how much you enjoy work and want to build your career
(b) how happy your dc are to have you away at work PT/FT
(c) how reslient your relationship is with total-arse-DH, and whether you might at some stage be embarking on single parenthood (sorry to say it but it may be important if he really is that much of an arse)
(d) whether you think your dc will be happy at the state school

I would go for the State school. Is there a nursery near your work? Could you advertise for a Nanny share? Or an Au Pair to help with logistics?
My reasons are: private school fees have been rising by at least 5% per year recently which is much higher than wages increase; if your DH is an "arse" it sounds as though you may have to cope with a drop in family income.
Good luck!

DH is one great big "arse" :(