Do siblings benefit from being at same school?

[TomsMumLP]

Hi,
I am soon to be moving to a house that is on the edge of a district council border (I think I will be able to choose either). On one side they have middle school from age 9 to 12 and then secondary, on the other side they go straight to secondary from primary at 11 years. I have two children, 41/2 years between them and so they would never be at the same school if we go for the middle school option. Does anyone have experience of their children always just missing each other by a year and do you think it matters? If they have never experienced school together yet (oldest is 5) then I suppose they won't know, but it would be nice to hear from others in this situation and I'm sure there are things I have not considered. (All the schools get about the same ofsted 'mark'). Thanks!!

Not quite the same thing but my DC are in separate (not linked) infants and juniors so only have the odd year together. The year they were in YR and Y2 they both seemed to enjoy being able to see/talk/play to each other at playtime and it did have the advantage that they got to know children in other age groups. This year they are in separate schools and dont' seem bothered at all. However one of DS's friends has a brother in Y6, who they often seem to go and ask about school stuff - so I guess you can still get the contact with other years!

From my point of year 2 children in 2 schools is a PITA. (though I guess if they could take themselves to and from school it would be less so).

I have two DC in two different schools one state one independent there is 17 months between them. They get on better because they dont see each other all the time and one is never living in the shadow of the other. Its the practicalities which can be boring if your unlucky parents meetings same day etc.

I have done both (same primary and different secondary schools) and from my experiences and my children I would say that they have a closer relationship and love to reminisce about funny events, teachers which they shared etc. But the older one was a hard attack to follow and our second child was in his shadow for some time so there was a downside. Choosing different secondary schools means that each school fits the personality of the individual child so that has been really good. Two sets of carol concerts, parents evenings etc...is a total pain though.

I was only in the same school as both my brothers for one year, and then after moving to another area db2 and I were in the same school for three years (but actually it was infants and juniors on same site but separate so I bsrely saw him) but then I was never again in the same school as either of my brothers. Did not bother me in the slightest.

I've had seven at the same school and it's good. Never more than five at a time because of the age gaps but it worked well for them. Four have gone on or are going on to the same university too.

It's convenient for pickups etc.

Otherwise it rather depends on the children.

I agree that it depends on the children, but with mine I would say it is a bonding experience. They do get to talk about teachers, they sometimes sing the same songs they've rehearsed in assembly, and when we've had some problems they have looked out for each other. As they are only one year apart they do also share some friendships.

I was very tempted to move DD1 to a selective independent school at 7+ for many reasons but one of the main reasons I couldn't get myself to do it was to separate her from her siblings. I know it will eventually happen because of the secondary move but I think they will accept it more when it's part of that.

Depends on personalities, but, in my dcs' case, they much prefer being at separate schools now (secondary age) than being at the same school (Primary).
My youngest hates the fact that most of the teachers she comes across absentmindedly refer to her as one of her siblings names (as did I when I was at school). My dc2 has absolutely LOVED being able to be 'just her' in her secondary, and not dc1's sister. (He has a BIG personality, so everyone knows him, and it can be overshadowing to start of as "Oh, you're x's sister" wherever you go). Equally, he likes not having her at the same school for a whole host of reasons. they get on much better now (although this could of course just be age related).
However, at Primary level, when you have to take and fetch them, it can be a pain for you, organisationally. At secondary of course, they take themselves.

I always loved the fact that they could talk about their teachers, lessons, and other issues around the school together (without me necessarily being involved or understanding). Doesn't mean they had to be there at the same time, as they obviously move on when they do and haven't always overlapped much.

My kids (then pre-school, Y3, Y9) all ended up in the same school when we moved to Oz and it was one of the unplanned benefits for them. It definitely strengthened the bond between them, especially the two eldest (boys). Knowing the same admin staff and some of the same teachers gave them far more common ground than they would have had otherwise, especially with such big age gaps between them. DS1 has just finished Y12 and his siblings really miss not going off together in the mornings.

The benefit for me was the fact that once the youngest started "proper school" they could all get the school bus together. It's also great only having to familiarize myself with one set of school policies and procedures and knowing that things like parents evenings, award ceremonies etc. will never clash.