going home for lunch in reception year

[marinda]

Just wanted to knoe if any parents fetch their kids home for lunch in early primary school. I tried to do this today in DS's school as I know he is not eating well and only does so if closely supervised. They let hiom come home but thouhjt he would loose out on development and social time (the teaching assistant said this1). DS claims he has insufficient time to eat contents of his lunch box but I suspect thaat desire to run around the playground has a lot to do with it too. The problem is that if not fed my me at lunch he comes home from school ravenous and sooo tired and is fit for nothing all evening - Help/advice needed please !

unfortunately now is when you have to start letting go

can you let him have school lunches? does he sit with dinner lady / peers .. peer pressure may get him to eat more than you ever could

do other children come home for lunch? if not, you risk singling him out

have you tried speaking to teacher about situation

I found when DS started school he wasn't tired, but a lot of his contemporaries were .. but they were all equally ravenous as soon as they got home ..

what do you mean by 'fed by me' by the way .. do you coach him through meals?

We're allowed to bring our children home from school - and DS1 is similar, often "doesn't have time" (they have ample time LOL) to eat his lunch and comes home ravenous. I could bring him home (I'm only next door) but I think it's good for him to stay.

I just provide a healthy snack (usually a sandwich or banana) when he gets in (he eats this regardless of whether he's eaten all his lunch or not) and that keeps him going until dinner time. When did he start reception full time?? DS1 was exhausted for most of the first term, but seems a lot better this term, think it just takes some getting used to.

I think you just have to resign yourself to the fact that children aren't given enough time to eat in England - the Jamie Oliver revolution may have reached the content of school meals in some schools, but it certainly hasn't reached the manner of eating them. My DS, now year 2, still doesn't have time to eat all his meal, because they simply don't allow enough time and they positively encourage bad table manners by expecting the kids to wolf meals down in double quick time so that they can get outside and play.

I personally would find it more important that my child didn't miss out on social integration than meals. You could maybe give him dinner as soon as he gets in and/ or let him have a short nap for the first term? What about a mid-morning snack as well?

they get 1/2hr to eat their lunch at DS1's school - they do lunch in two "sittings" (as the hall isn't big enough for them all to sit). IMO that's PLENTY of time to eat a (child sized) pack lunch. DS1 can finish the same lunch at home in less than 10 minutes.

Just give him 3 or 4 things which are nutritious and quick to eat- wholegrain roll, piece of fruit, muffin etc. Then he can eat it all and play so you will both be happy. Don't forget he has milk and fruit at school as well as his lunch and needs the physical activity. When he comes home you can give him a good snack and he will be fine. Bringing him home will disrupt his day and single him out thus making it more of an issue.

Sounds very similar to my ds! I try and make everything fairly bitesize to try and encourage him to eat his packed lunch. Cut sandwiches into 4, mini sausages, mini scotch egg, little potof fruit instead of one whole piece etc. He also needs a snack as soon a he gets home, and quite often falls asleep on the sofa. I let him stay at school tho as I think the social side is important, particularly the first year when they are all making friends.

Thanks for the comments ladies. "Fed by me" (not literally) - I just keep checking him
until plate is clean or he gets distracted and doesn't eat !!!.
Is there anyone at all out there who DOES fetch their kids home for lunch ???

Does he get snacks during the day ? ds used to be like this and I asked that he had another opportunity to eat something after playtime. Eventually he started to eat enough to see him through but even now has a snack as soon as he gets home. Might your ds do better by having a hot lunch , which may be more closely supervised.

When ds2 was in reception one of his best friends was not eating his packed lunch well, and didn't like the school dinners, so his mum fetched him home for lunch for a while. It might have been as long as a term, I'm not sure. But I'm not sure it was a great idea. He struggled with the lunchtime play (which is the longest/loudest/busiest) when he did go back. Ds2 also felt very sorry for him as he was the only child who was going home.

My boys have always arrived home exhausted and usually hungry too, and they're 6 and 8 now.

We have been informed by the school dd will be attending in Sept that we are not allowed to take her out at lunchtime.

sounds drastic mummyhill - mind you I suppose it suits alot of parents these days with working etc/... Anyone else with a view ?

I think it's sad. We used to be allowed to go home at lunch if we lived close by as long as our parents sent a note in then came and signed us out. On Friday or for special occassions such as birthdays my friends and I would take it in turns to go to each others house for lunch and be returned in time for afternoon classes.

No experience of this but I am worried about the same thing. My dd is a terrible eater, she will survive on fresh air if she could, but if I now she is going to have a particulary long day I coax her to eat a good breakfast and lunch and this seems to keep her going, I cant just leave her to eat on her own because she wouldnt really eat. She will be 4 in August and starts full time in September, how on earth is she going to cope all day and probably eat very little. I am going to see if the other reception children have packed lunches or school meals, I want her to do the what the majority do and I'm just hoping that she is closely supervised and encouraged to eat. I hope the nursery nurse/teacher/dinner ladies do try to encourage them because if not they wont be able to do anything with dd in the afternoon.

I don't think we are forbidden to do a lunch time removal, but it is pretty clear that school if from 8.55-3.15, so I think that you would probably need special permission to do so. My dd is not the best eater (takes ages and ages) but seems to be getting through her pack lunch and is no longer completely ratty when we pick her up, but she amongst the oldest in her class. I would also recommend the banana or other snack (and a drink) as soon as they get out of school.

Oh, and we were asked to do pack lunches for the first term in order to ensure supervision (they ate in their class room, not the big hall for the first half term).

Marinda - if your ds is a reluctant eater, you may find that staying and eating school meals with friends is exactly what will help, given a little time.
All of a sudden, 4 days into reception, DS is urging me to buy...lettuce as if it is an exotic treat I may never have heard of, and this is after years of demanding that the slightest speck of anything green and uncooked be removed from his plate!
It might be an opportunity for him to learn that he will feel better if he concentrates on his lunchbox rather than playing. I thnk the social thing is really important.

bump

i was told by school that they dont have to keep kids at lunch time (we were having a few problems with behaviour ) as it is just a service they offer, not actual 'school time'. that suggests to me that they cannot stop you taking them.

however, i send my kids mainly for the social interaction and i woulddnt wnt them to miss that

i would leave out the fruit and fill his lunch box with stuff with lots of calories (healthy calories!) like cheese, full fat yogurt etc so if he just eats a bit it keeps him full longer. then feed him as soon as he gets home. no reason why he has to have 3 square meals a day, ds2 eats better if he has five or six small meals a day (sometimes more)