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Original poster

Seperate changing rooms?

50 replies

MarmaladeSun · 14/01/2006 22:55

Hi. As some of you may know I am not happy with my children's school ATM (see 'Police Involvement' thread). Further to all that hassle, DD1 came home on Friday more than a bit upset that her teacher had made all the children get changed all together in the same classroom. They used to seperate boys from girls which protected their modesty a bit, but now this teacher says they have to get undressed in their places (which are boy girl boy girl). DD1 is 11, and wearing a bra and is very conscious of her body. Several of the girls have their periods and I think they find it painfully embarrassing having to change in full view of the boys in their class. The school has got changing rooms but use them as a store cupboard for PE equipment! What would you do? Also, DS teacher told his class in December that Santa Claus didn't really exist! (DS is 8). Seeing that some of the kids were horrified at this, he tried to backtrack by saying 'well he does exist but he doesn't deliver your presents...he takes over your parents' minds and makes them buy the presents and put them under the tree'!!!(Bear in mind DS still believes!)
I don't want to march in there with a catalogue of complaints in view of the situation on going, but I am really not happy at the moment with this school.

OP posts:

Caligula · 16/01/2006 22:30

I'd be tempted to cc it to the local press quite frankly. I'm sure other parents would love to send their daughters to a school where boys can get a good look at them.

(I would actually use that phrase in the letter - it demonstrates to whoever is reading it, that the school understands how utterly improper it is, and yet they still do it. Makes you wonder what else they're doing that they know is wrong.)

Blu · 16/01/2006 22:37

Marmaldesun - yes, write that letter now, and take it in. It is good that another Mum has complained, don't let her be a lone voice. And keep your dd off PE until the system has changed.
The teacher is outrageous 'get a good look' indeed. Horrible.

Original poster

MarmaladeSun · 16/01/2006 22:37

The stupid thing about it is, that the school HAS got changing rooms apparently, but they are used for storage!!! It's a sad state of affairs when they put storage needs above that of the welfare of the pupil.
DD is developing at quite a rapid rate. I had her measured for a bra 3 months ago, and I think she needs a bigger size now, as they are noticably larger than they were. Her body is also developing in other physical ways...underarms and elsewhere. It's a cringingly painful time for girls (and boys of course) and this only makes it worse. My son tells me that the same rules apply to his class (he is year 4 but in with year 5...he is coming up for 9) and that the same teacher won't even allow them to crouch down (you know the way you hunch down when trying to change unseen...like on the beach?)...they have to stand upright and change! Whaaaaaaatttt?

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Caligula · 16/01/2006 22:39

What is it with PE teachers? Why are so many of them so barking?

alexsmum · 16/01/2006 22:42

marmaladesun- please move them...i'm unhappy just hearing about it, never mind going there. it sounds f awful!!!! would you stay working somewhere that was so equivalently awful?
i know its tough..what was their latest ofsted report like? did they pick up on the crapness?

Original poster

MarmaladeSun · 16/01/2006 22:45

LOL..yeah mine was mad as a hatter too...many moons ago. I can remember when we had swimming lessons at my primary school, the pool was unheated and outside. We had to get changed, all together, OUTSIDE...even in winter. The headmistress was a mother superior and by God she was bloody evil!You would think times had changed.
The thing is I am so unconfrontational. I hate scenes, and arguments, and situations but now I feel so strongly about what is happening to my son and daughter that I am in the thick of it.

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Aloha · 16/01/2006 22:47

This is pervy and wrong in every possible way. IN this current climate I suspect the local papers would be very interested in a PE teachers who liked girls to expose themselves in class. I wonder what the headteacher would think of that?
I would tell my daughter that she didn't have to do it, and if they had a problem with it, they should come to you, and I'd write a letter saying exactly that. Actually, my daughter would be out of that school.

Aloha · 16/01/2006 22:48

You HAVE to defend them. Who else will?

Original poster

MarmaladeSun · 16/01/2006 22:48

Alexsmum...no. I did study the ofsted report. It wasn't perfect by any means but it said the school ethos was brilliant, and that was what concerned me even more than the academic side. Both the kids are extremely bright and so I knew they would do well...it was the moral/welfare/pastoral side I wanted and it all seemed so good on paper.

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alexsmum · 16/01/2006 22:49

it doesn't matter how much you hate confrontation, when it's your kids you have to fight for them, because if you don't who will. you are absolutely doing the right thing by kicking up a fuss, i would up the ante if i were you and complain to anyone i thought was relevant.
how can the catholic church condone this kind of thing with all the scandal that has been around lately? write to the lea, the diocese,the local paper....anyone.

Original poster

MarmaladeSun · 16/01/2006 22:52

Aloha. I know. I had this conversation earlier today. Who knows what kind of weirdo/sicko is working in the schools? That case in Norwich...I am not too far from there...next county so it makes you wonder if it isn't a geographical thing; perhaps the education authority in this part of the world is more lax. You never know do you? I'm not saying that's the case...just that it could be. And it's too late saying 'I wish...' when something has already happened is it?

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Caligula · 16/01/2006 22:57

I'd be tempted to ask them if all their teachers were CRB checked! (but that is slightly inflammatory I suppose. Although, tbh I really do think it is unusually obtuse at the very least, for a teacher not to understand that boys "getting a good look" at girls is so entirely out of order. Especially in the current climate. You would have thought that every school in the country would at this moment be dotting their i's and crossing their t's.)

Blu · 16/01/2006 22:58

If you don't write the letter, and tell them that you don't want your dd to undergo this embarrssment, and that she will not be doing PE until there is some privacy for changing, you are actually part of the system that is compelling her to do this.
When is her next PE lesson?
You can't let her do it - not when she feels like this, 'more than a bit upset''.

Original poster

MarmaladeSun · 17/01/2006 10:05

Hi. Had to shoot off last night as DD2 woke up. Her next lesson is tomorrow morning, so I will be sending in a letter explaining that until and unless theer are seperate changing facilities she will not be doing PE. I will also write that I am amazed at this shocking lack of sensitivity of the children's needs and that as I have always encouraged my children to say no to anything that makes them feel uncomfortable, especially when it is an adult doing it, I cannot condone the teacher forcing my DD to undress in this situation and that I would be going against what I have brought her up to believe.

OP posts:

yoyo · 17/01/2006 10:09

Let us know how they respond.

Original poster

MarmaladeSun · 17/01/2006 10:14

I will.

OP posts:

frogs · 17/01/2006 10:15

Another thought, MS -- since it's a Catholic school, is your parish priest on the Board of Governors? Might be worth having a word with him as well.

Original poster

MarmaladeSun · 17/01/2006 16:12

Just got back from school. Apparently I am not the only one who objected to this situation as the teacher announced that from tomorrow the class would again be segregated! I will still write the letter though as it's PE day tomorrow.

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Milliways · 17/01/2006 17:54

I just asked DS what happens at PE at his school. He said up to and including YR 5 thet all got changed together in classroom, but now in YR 6, girls get to change in the Art room!

batters · 17/01/2006 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bozza · 18/01/2006 09:43

When I was at infant school we got changed in the classroom. I think this is fair enough. When I was at Junior school (so from 7.5) we got changed in the cloakrooms - there were seperate girls and boys playgrounds/entrances/cloakrooms at our school. This was in the early 80s.

SnowmAngeliz · 18/01/2006 09:49

MarmaladeSun, i am so gald something was done about it as that situation is horrendous. Your poor, poor dd must have been mortified. I remember viividly a teacher telling me when i was 12 to remove my costume in the girls communal shower, i refused and she persisted, i refused again and she was livid but my parents were so pleased i refused.

some people think children have no feelings

SnowmAngeliz · 18/01/2006 09:58

From what age do people think seperate changing rooms should be a must then?

alexsmum · 18/01/2006 10:47

these days i would say about age 8 or so. i know of at least one little girl who started her periods at age 9.puberty is kicking in so much earlier now and why should children have to be embarrassed in this way?

Bozza · 19/01/2006 08:49

Yes I would agree about 8 or so, so probably from Junior school onwards would be sensible. I think its probably not practical or necessary for infants who may neeed help with buttons or laces etc, or plain old chivvying along when they are dreaming (that last is my DS, btw).

At my local baths there is a sign up saying that children must change in the appropriate changing room from age 8.

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