Year one, Boy, Writing problems (again)

[Mimsie]

Hi there

Here I am awake in the middle of the night for a problem that is not new, I have talked about it before on here, but I just don't know what to do

My DS (5 in year one) has never really shown an interest in writing. At the first parent teacher meeting the teacher mentionned that it was never his strong point (she had him in reception as well) and that he was just not interested. I did say I would do anything I could to help but she never asked me to. until....

Yesterday, my DS came out and said the teacher wanted to talk to me. I went in and it was because he wasn't doing any substential amount of writing in school. he wasn't improving at all and spend the time assigned for writing daydreaming. so she asked me to complete the work at home

He does do the writing if under supervision, and does quite well. but left to his own device... I dunno he seems to have the ability to sit on a chair and daydream for hours on end!!

It's not that he can't do it, he's great at spellings, since the start of the year he got 10/10 on all his weekly spellings (appart from one week he spelt pretend with a "t" at the end) and some of them I would consider quite hard like splendid, screw etc.... When I worked with him I was quite impressed really at his attempts... he managed to spell "squeak"... but it took him 1hour to write 30 odd words!!! I dont mean to say his spelling is perfect he does write sometimes on sound only like "sori" for sorry etc... but it's generally quite easy to read.

He must listen in school as he knew that after "q" came "u" and I never have to make him practise his spellings because he knows them from learning them at school during the week...

Today he came home with more work to do because he was once more daydreaming and didnt finish! And it really wasnt much it was just a question of having to copy what the teacher had written on the board... I asked the teacher what I could do to help and she answered "I wish I knew"

So there you go I hope some of you do!

Another small point, maybe I am getting paranoid now, but he does daydream a lot... he is able to have some really in depth conversations with me or his dad, but quite often when we meet people and they ask him simple questions like what's your name and how old are you?, I have to get his attention and repeat the questions for him to answer caus he does quite often seem to be in a little world of his own!

It sounds like a lot of pressure on such a young boy to make him to do at home what he doesn't in class. Shouldn't the teacher/school be adressing the in-class issue first.

You'd have thought wouldnt you Liz... I wished they'd find a way to motivate him more than the supposed punishement of doing it at home...

He said he going to try more tomorrow and the teacher said she got some smily faces stickers if he does... wait and see what tomorrow brings!

I would be over the moon if all my year 1s could spell words like screw and splendid!

What strategies has the teacher tried already? Does your ds do brain gym at school? Sometimes if someone is drifting off or has a mental block I get them to choose an exercise to help them focus again. The egg timer is a good idea and the dots. Maybe sitting on the same table as the TA for writing so they can keep encouraging him.
I would ask to see the teacher agin to ascertain if she really thinks there is a problem or is ds just a dreamer.

You're right Art, I am pretty amazed at him actually and I am angry at myself in a way to be asking more of him... He's a happy go lucky child normally and today is the first day I snapped at him and I feel rubbish about it!

I think it is quite a pushy school...

As for what they do I do know that some teacher do the brain gym thing as I help in the school. I don't know if this teacher does though. Just like the stickers thing it's quite a new thing for this teacher to use stickers I hope it might do the trick for him...

I meant to go and talk to the teacher today and ask if she thought maybe there was a physical reason behind him not wanting to write... But when she came out and showed me with certain disapointment that he did nothing and I felt the tears (I did stay terribly late last night and am somewhat over sensitive with the time of the month) I just didn't want to cry in front of her...

I can't believe I let DS see me cry over this he was mortified!! it's all going pear shape for some stupid writing task. He's 5 for crying out loud he wouldn't even be in proper school yet in France!!

Yet I do not want him to fall behind, and get used to just do nothing in class...

They used to have lots of TAs in reception but they have had to make a lot redundant through falling intake of kids so I dont think there is a full time TA with them at the moment and it's a class of 30. The teacher has said to me she hasn't got the time to keep encouraging him and sit by him.

I think they are expecting quite a lot of him mimsie. I have a dd in yr 1 with a writing 'issue' (she doesn't like writing and finds forming her letters quite difficult). We haven't even started getting spellings to take home.

Something you said rings true with me - dd is always asked to write something about what we do on the weekend and apparently would always say nothing or compose a sentence with the least number of words possible (like 'we went to the shop').

The teacher told me she had spotted that dd was doing this and so would go over to her and help her compose another sentence (by saying things like, so what did you get at the shop etc.) and encouraging her to maybe draw a picture of what she did and then try and write a few words to go with it.

I really do agree with whoever said that perhaps he just needs a bit more encouragement from the teacher. I think dd hates writing because there are so many other (mainly) girls who can write absolutely perfectly and beautifully already and her writing is all over the place. Perhaps you could hint to the teacher that you think he needs a bit of praise and encouragement to help him along? He sounds a very capable boy!

oh sorry, have just seen that she has said she doesn't have the time to sit with him!

I really don't think it would take much for her to encourage him a little bit each day though and perhaps you could do a lot of massively over positive praise when he does some writing at home. Do you think it's because he feels he's not very good at writing or do you think there is something else that's stopping him from doing it?

You know what fox, I have no idea what is stopping him...

Well that said today we had to do the whole thing together... he read the questions... once he got the idea of what making the sentence was he did say the answer in a sentence out loud and I really praised him. then he starts writing... realise he forgot the capital letter and asks to rub it out... points out that the rubber at the end of his pen is all dried out... and look mummy I can pick it and it's pinker inside... he could have carried on on that line of thought for some time (honestly his ability to switch into little world of his own is quite amazing) till I gave him another rubber and ask him to forget about the rubber and get back to work... we have to start all over again and he does eventually write the sentence... but in class he would have still be looking at his rubber!!!

I left him completely alone for the last sentense and he did it all by himself. The look of joy on his face when he realised he actually finished something was quite a sight and he was extremely proud. He didnt even get up as his dad came home 1/2 way through the last sentence and carried on... He was soooo proud of himself to go and show it to dad. He got highly praised and all is well that ends well... but I can see how all goes wrong in class!

awww so he obviously can do it - it's just a question of getting him to sit down and concentrate. To be honest, he sounds like an awful lot of 5 yr old boys and I find it hard to believe that he is the first 5 yr old boy that this teacher has seen and also that he is the only one in his class that is like this. Surely (without meaning to slag off teachers) part of her job is to get him to concentrate better? From what the teacher has said, it sounds like they have had a problem with funding this year - is there no TA in his class that could help out?

I think the sticker thing is a good idea - they use this with dd (also for things like getting dressed quickly after PE because she drags her feet with this aswell) and after 5 stickers she gets to choose a bigger sticker herself. This has provided quite a lot of motivation!

(I do feel similarly to you - they are still quite small to be expected to sit down and concentrate for such long periods each day).

mimsie, your boy is really so like my ds it's funny!! I totally know the things about the capital letters and the new and fascinating ideas that intervene (and sweep him away).

The capital letter thing is an indication of perfectionism - another very bright child characteristic and worth trying to really stress to him that it doesn't matter, things don't have to be perfect, trying is what's important. Luckily your ds sounds as if his perfectionism comes without anxiety - can be much more trouble if he's anxious too. Mine's a bit anxious, that's a difference.

I did another thing with my ds that you might think eccentric, so I'm a little doubtful about saying, but anyway in case helpful here goes: I got a big black towel and put it over his head & said, now try and play football. He was bewildered. I said, that is what you are doing to yourself - when you sit in front of your work and daydream to block it all out, that is like putting a big black hood over yourself so that you can't do anything, whether you want to or not.

Then I said, what would you do if you wanted to play football and you had a hood over your head? Yes! You'd take it off! And you can do the same about daydreaming - you're in control, you can choose whether the big black hood comes down or not. He liked this idea, and (maybe bizarrely - well, he's an unusual chap) it seems to have helped him - he even says to me, I'm going to make sure the hood doesn't come down this time.

However however: he is older than your boy, and I am not quite sure whether these ideas would have clicked with him a year ago. Sorry to go on, yet again

OHHH Bink this is perfect!!! the towel idea!! It's so right up DS's street. Will be trying that tonight. I can well imagine him taking that idea on board... He's the type to say when getting told off for hurting someone by not being careful, that he's so sorry, he was playing and was ignoring his brain!!

odd children we have!!

I'm going to see my friend's sister at the weekend as well she's a child psychologist that helps in school just to rule things out and set my mind at ease.

dreading going to pick him up from school tonight!

Yaaayyyy did all his work in the class today!!!

Typically thought because I was at the end of my tether yesterday I went to see the headmaster before I picked DS up... He said he was going to go in the classroom, that he was a bright child and maybe he wasn't being challenged enough...
I did go back in after with DS to say no to worry all is well, but he still wants to investigate! Feel like I made a mountain of a hill (of whatever the expression is) and hope that I wont get the teacher's back up!!

boo hooo... DS has been coming home without anything to do... so thought to myself he got it sorted in school wayy hayyy...

Unfortunately the parent teacher meeting came, I couldnt go but DH went... and well the writing is still abismal...

he got better to start with... but... still way sub standard of the rest of the class

I told the teacher I would try and make him write a little during 1/2 term... and it ended up in tears, saying he keeps trying but he keeps failing... He also says that his hands get too hot...

We tried copying from a book... he did that day one and was alright day 2 lost interest... we tried "writing his news" that started well... as in 2 words and pop lost it... that's when the tears came... then after I proposed writing a letter and that kinda worked he wrote to his grandpa and to his auntie... just a few sentences like . I love you more. how or you? Im fine. Im on holydays. Im not playing the xbox yet. (spelt as he did) and a picture.

At the parent teacher meeting she said they had monitored him as highly able in math science reading and ICT for what it's worth so his ONLY "target" for the rest of the year are basically catching up on writing.

Anyone else had a child quite so reluctant to write anything at all??

You want to see the blood drain from his face if I so much as suggest we could try and write something!

tried to do "crafts" during the holidays, got a friend over etc... made some salt dough... he's mate was really meticulous and careful, my DS just splashed! and shouts done! normally followed by can I go and play now?!?!

Sympathies, Mimsie. DS1 at the same age had dreadful handwriting/letter formation (looked like impenetrable runes), but actually quite liked writing his own stuff.

You've tried some good ideas. Might he like to write and illustrate invitations to some friends to play? I remember DS1 doing this 8 months before his party and drawing different superheroes for each friend.

Does he like comics or cartoons? Perhaps together you and he could think up/illustrate a comic strip and he could write captions.

Honestly my DS1 is just like that with Play-Doh and painting type stuff. It is frustrating, particularly if he is bright.

Could you teach him to touch type with some child-friendly software? Have thought of this for DS1, but not done it yet (he's now 7, BTW).

If he truly finds the mechanics of writing difficult, and this puts him off, you might try some pencil exercises like "Write from the Start" - I got this from Amazon for DS2 (dreadful pencil control) and they can just do 5 minutes a day. It has really helped DS2 and he loves his 'dragon book', as he calls it.

Sorry for stream of consciousness - hope some of it helps.

Love the comic strip idea, unfortunately am not very artistic/creative myself

Good idea about the letters to his friend, but he received 4 valentines day card from different girls and when asked if he wanted to reply to any of them he went naahhhh! He only managed 4 Xmas card as well!!!

Have thought of touch type, but then and again he needs to learn to write or he'll really struggle in year 2!

Loooove the "write from the start" idea!! I'll put it on his Bday present idea list. Am sure grandpa will want to oblige as the writing things has been an issue for this long! it's about £20 and DS has invited his whole classroom for his Bday plus he would like a bike! So could do with watching the expenses this month!

On after thought should have asked him to write the invitations then he'd have only invited 4-5 lol!!!