why choose independant?

[Crabapple99]

Not trying to start a fight at all, just genuinly uncomprehendig. I have had some experience of working in independant schools, and much more experience of state schools.

I would ver ymuch like to understand why some parents want their children in independant school.

Is there anything you feel your DC miss out on by attending independant rather than state schools?

I wish the days were shorter (thank the lord for long holidays) and perversly that there were less opportunities (though as the HT at DS prep school makes clear - there is no rule saying pupils have to involve themselves in everyhting).

crab - He misses out on being judged for WHO he is, rather than where he goes to school - but thankfully only by a small minority.

Other than that no, his school is far more racially diverse than the other state primaries / middle schools in town, he is part of the local community in terms of cricket, squash and hockey which he plays out of school and will join several of his friends back in the state system next year.

"Do you feel that independant schools teach better behaviour"

At DSs school, yes. There is zero tolerance for bad behaviour and it is punished.

All schools are not the same, you do realise this don't you? Some state schools will also be hot on discipline, some independents won't be.

One issue I had thought of is missing out on local friends.

She has joined Rainbows at the local church so plays with localish children there.

She is too young imo to play out unaccompanied (5) so it hasn't been an issue to date.

I wish the days were shorter too, but you cant have loads of extra curricular activities and have short days as well .

I chose independent because I wanted to choose where my child went to school ,where we live there is no choice of state school its one size fits all,one primary and one secondary .The secondary is huge (2000 pupils),the HT who has a reputation as a terrifying woman(!)boasts that each child in the sixth form is guaranteed 15 mins each year with the Head.My ds sees his Head all the time and not because he is badly behaved ,he stops for a chat if they meet in the corridor.

His tutor has only 10 tutees and knows him personally,huge emphasis is put on developing potential and self esteem ,the pastoral care is outstanding.I went to school with great pastoral care and wanted this for him too.He is not arrogant but he does have the confidence to question and challenge and crucially to lead.

Most of all I wanted his education to be about so much more than collecting qualifications ,I wanted him to be stretched sideways to be encouraged to think outside the cuuriculum.It always amuses me when non independent school parents say"well my ds/dd got 11A*s at his/her state school" as if thats why I pay it is precisely to get away from this that I do pay.I do think that my ds has better GCSEs than he would have got at our local school but that is mostly because i think he would have coasted there and the teachers would not have had the resources or time to be on his back all the time or to bear with the fact that he always wants to do it a bit differently form everyone else (our local state is a bit of an exam factory).

I hate the fact that the state education system has become so dominated by exams and league tables ,too often it seems to be a tick box exercise.

I chose independent boarding because I'm a crap parent and the school and its teachers are a million times better at educating my DS and ensuring he's got the right PE kit books done the right revision/prep etc than I am. I don?t want to be driving to after school clubs on a cold wet dark evening or taking him to a match on a Saturday.
The education at my DS school is a million times better than that found in the state sector the opportunities better and the facilities better. There are no limits to anything he does and no politically correct rubbish.
There are no strikes and frankly the teachers are more committed. I feel very comfortable there I understand its ethos and when I talk to the teachers I feel we are both equals and we have a two way conversation.
Before anyone tells me the state secter is just like this I'm speaking from experience I have a DC's in both. and both are at the top of their respective league tables.

Do y'all feel like we're being interviewed?

Is there anything you feel your DC miss out on by attending independant rather than state schools?

DS private school is so tiny that it has many fewer EC opportunities and relatively much fewer GCSE options than any local state school. No workshop (this is DH's biggest reservation, after the money we pay of course, DH loved the workshops & making things & lathes & so on at his bog standard comp; nothing remotely similar at DS's school). Also the kids come from all over but mostly far away, so local friends are out. They are bussed in, so almost never anything after school (like clubs).

DD will go to the local bog standard comp & I see her as having a huge number more opportunities there. For good and bad things, mind.

Any private secondary would be a bus ride away and that eats up DC time & energy, too.

No, my dd doesn't miss out on anything by going to her
prep school any more than she would at our local catchment school.

Because we didn't want a religious school for her (ie most of our local schools) we didn't want the other local school where ofsted said "the majority of pupils start and finish at well below the national average and little progress is made except in Reception".

We did want good wrap around care, access to high quality music, sports and swimming lessons during school time Also the private school was far more ethnically diverse, the results were good and most importantly the children seemed really happy and so is DD

That's not the case for the school DS1 goes to though. He has school friends that also go to his scout group and play in his local rugby team.

Wraparound care is the only reason I use it (didn't choose it exactly, I work there but it is a great school).

I do love other things about it (small classes, extensive grounds, daily sport, extra crricular opps, freedom from national curriculum etc) but I wouldn't pay for them when I could have a perfectly decent school for free.

Most of DD's school friends do live a drive away - all of them infact, But I can honestly say it has't deterred the number of after school play"dates" or invites at all. Especially when she was younger there were one or two every week. Now they are a bit busier because of homework and after school activities, but it is still frequent.

And DD plays happily with local friedns on our estate too. They either go to the local catchment school or one of the other independents. DD knows a couple of the girls from Brownies, but the rest they just make friends when out playing on the street. And they all get on great. Infact in many ways it is good because they haven't seen each other all week at school, so have more to do and chat about.

Thanks for all your input. i appreciate you taking the time to tell me. I do actually unferstand much better now.

We chose state primary and independent secondary. The secondary school is extremely close to us, and we liked the small class sizes and regular feedback. Personally, I feel that dd1 would have been as well in a state secondary school, but dh was sold on the school, and my daughter is happy.

I chose state (really good schools) because my 4 children are all really bright and will succeed wherever. The first 3 have whizzed through 11 plus inc dyslexic ds who by the way knows how to spell independent. They mix at primary and grammar with a wide cross section of children. I don't let them speak with the local twang and will dd3 correct as necessary. As will the older 3. DD1 has now received offers for Law for all the RG universities she applied to. I expect the same will happen for the others.

Oh, and grammar schools save me at least 60k per year. That's quite a lot. Plus grammar here has better A level results by far than the local independent. I teach, and I'd always do the best for my children. Round here that often means state.

Of course, if I didn't live in such a middle class area I'd probably (definitely) rethink - or move.

I chose independent boarding because I'm a crap parent and the school and its teachers are a million times better at educating my DS and ensuring he's got the right PE kit books done the right revision/prep etc than I am. I don?t want to be driving to after school clubs on a cold wet dark evening or taking him to a match on a Saturday.

That's actually a very honest answer - much more honest than most people who advocate private schooling.

OP:

Basically, if you are a parent who is unable (for some reason or another) to support your child's learning and development outside of school hours then a private school is probably the better choice.

However, if you are able to involve yourself then you can end up with a child who does just as well in the state sector as any child from a private school.

Thanks for commenting on my honest answer and I might be a crap parent but I still love him to bits. On the other we have a wonderful time together when my he's home. We do all the nice things together putting up Xmas decorations wrapping presents etc. It works for me and my DS.

I chose independent at year 5 as my ds was being bullied at his state school and the HT did nothing to stop it even after months and months of me complaining and other children leaving due to being bullied by the same children. His school now is very nurturing with small class sizes, fantastic facilities and great teaching. He has developed so many new skills, has gone from middle to top sets in most areas, plays on two sports teams and best of all actually has friends!