First day back and I'm so annoyed on ds' behalf [sad]

[LIZS]

Kids are back to school today and the newsletter from last term clearly states that those older children with infant aged siblings can arrive later than normal, at 8.40, to stagger the drop off times. ds is Year 3 and normally arrives at 8.15 for 8.20 Registration. Anyway, we have a relatively relaxed start to the day today and arrive at school in time for him to drop off his stuff in the cloakroom and get to his classroom by 8.40. We arrive at the classroom (in a spearate building) where his teacher has what looks like most of the class sitting in a circle in the corner. ds goes in and I walk off only for me to look back through the side window to see him looking panic stricken and rush for the door. I return to look for him by which time he is sobbing and shaking and not knowing what to do. Apparently the register had already been returned and he'd been sent to the Main Office to register, the procedure if he had normally been late. But he wasn't late, we'd simply followed the instructions and surely if children are allowed to arrive at 8.40, the register should n't be returned until after then, regardless of whether most of the children have already shown up. Fortunately the teacher of the adjacent class (Head of Year 3) came out and I could leave him with her to calm down and sort it out as by this time dd was due in class.

I'm sure this sounds really trivial but it is a most unfortunate way for ds, who is quite sensitive and only in his 2nd term there, to go back to school and I suspect he felt confused, humiliated and will now be very tense about the whole day.

Actually, thinking about it, it will be interesting to see if they say anything to me as I doubt he has reacted that extremely at school before. It is unusual behaviour for him but when he does become so upset it is due to a misunderstanding, feeling out of control or sudden change of plan.

Cod , I hope you are right about it being nothing to worry about and that it is a one-off.

I bet he was completely fine by the time he sat down in the classroom and had a chance to chat to his friends But as I said, I would just have a very quick chat with him after school to make sure he knows it's not his fault, but not let him see that it upset you. And I'd do something nice to celebrate (if that's the right word) his first day back. I think the SN bit, though pretty mild in both our children, does make everything just that bit harder. I am really hoping that DS is one of those children who breezes through everything so I only have DD to worry about ! Hope the rest of your day goes well.

What an early start to the day! (normally) I agree with whoever said that the real issue here is the discrepancy between start and finish times for the different age groups. That would really annoy me. I have to pick my youngest ds up from playgroup at 3 three afternoons a week and then have to wait until 3:15 to pick up my other children from the manin part of the school and that is annoying enough. I daresay it will be quite pleasant in summer to hang around for 15 minutes chatting to other parents, but right now, it is a miserable experience.

Returning to your porblem, i wouldn't make too much of it as it is only a one-off incident, but I would perhaps pop to the office before picking up today to ensure that the office staff didn't put your son down as late this morning.

DS's school have repeatedly emphasised the point about being on time and doing things as the school request, re punctuality, drop-offs and pick-ups - precisely because of the upset it causes to children if they feel late or out of step with the system.
So if schools ARE well aware of the upset - and Lizs, your DS seems to have been considerably upset, then they need to iron out glitches in the system or the way it is cmmunicated throughout the school.

I hope a 'helpful' mention of the way you were following their information will sort this out, Lizs, and that his teacher explains to your poor ds that there was a misunderstanding and that it isn't his fault.

I would be upset if DS was upset at the result of a misunderstanding - but I am sure it can all be smoothed over with a calm word. Good luck.

Thanks. He seems fine now and sounds like he made a good enough recovery to rejoin the grioup and take part in the activity - telling about their Christmas within an egg timer period. I didn't see his teacher today as the class came out in dribs and drabs and another Yr3 teacher was watching them outside.

I will casually mention it when I see her but ds is now adamant that he will always be there early regardless of what the newsletter says. His specific upset was that he didn't know who to speak to in the office btw so I'm sure we can remedy that.

There is a legal requirement for the number of working hours in Key Stage one and Key stage 2. I have a feeling that KS2 need to work about an hour longer than KS1, but can't remember the figures for Foundation (Reception).

Many schools cater for the difference between KS1 and 2 by giving KS1 an afternoon play and not KS2. Your start times seem to suggest a 5 hour difference between the hours for Foundation and KS2. This sounds like a lot! I will try and find out the legal requirements and post again on this thread in a couple of days if you are interested.

hmm that is interesting. I'd have thought dd's day is more the norm but ds' also includes assembly, singing practice etc and 2 afternoons are largely devoted to sport. In Year 1 the hours are 20 minutes or so long per day. Would the fact that this is a private shcool make a difference too I wonder.