does anyone else feel that some schools are putting too much pressure on parents to teach their children?

[juicychops]

my ds's school is awful and just seems to be getting worse. i am lucky that i have a ds (year 2) who loves learning and is one of the top in his class as it makes it easier for me to do extra work with him at home, which i have always done, but i feel his school is relying more and more on us parents to teach where they are failing to do so.

i have taught my ds to read. Im sure the school have played their part, but i feel comfortable saying that in the main i have taught him how to read. i have also always done a lot of maths with him as it has always been an interest of mine and i feel the school dont push him hard enough. He is left behind whilst the less able children have most of the attention.

I have no problem teaching my ds as i want him to fulfil his potential, but the pressure is now on ME to make sure he does fulfil his potential because left to the school, he wont do half as well as he could.

I feel like my ds's school is failing him. Even some of the parents of children at other levels in ds's class are sending their kids to outside classes and tutors because they feel the school arn't doing enough.

Am i alone in feeling this way? maybe ds's school is a particularly bad one

can't you change schools?

Ah, this is an interesting one. At my DD's school I feel that the school expects the parents to do a huge amount of work - both official homework, and "filling in the gaps" where children haven't caught on. Only the gaps are getting bigger and bigger and the school doesn't point them out to parents, but makes it pretty clear when you haven't anticipated what the school would like you to do but dare not ask

bonsoir, thats EXACTLY how i feel ds's school is!

there isn't any point in moving as its only an infant school and will be going to the feeder junior school in September. This is just a terrible but it is being taken over by an academy from 1st April 2012 so we all have our fingers crossed it will improve. There are no primary schools in the area that has spaces so i have no choice but to send ds to this junior school

Im getting so so frustrated with feeling like its my job to teach ds otherwise he'll get behind. Communication between the school and parents couldn't be any poorer and im debating whether to write to the head as im at my wits end with it.

we even got a questionnaire the other day about how confident i as a parent feel about teaching my ds reading, writing and phonics! i filled the back page with my comments about what i thought.

he has homework once a week on a friday and it is usually something crap and pointless. the other day it was 'see how many star jumps you can do in 1 minute', 'see how many times you can write your initials in 2 minutes' etc. and then he gets an 'x' on his homework chart if i have decided to do something worth while instead.

Like i said hes one of the top in his class, but i bet he's not anywhere near the kids in the top in other schools.

Judgey McJudgey pants! Have you seen the teacher's lesson plan are you able to say that see how many star jumps isn't part of their individual learning.

Qualified as a teacher did you so you are without a doubt able to make these judgments, been part of the termly lesson planning have you?

If you don't like it, take your kid out and do it yourself since you apparently are doing such a better job of it!

Have you read this report about Shadow Education (tutoring) that I keep linking to and think is very interesting indeed?

My DD's French school (she is 7 and in the equivalent of Y3, though would be in Y2 in England) is bound by the very restrictive French NC. So the teachers use the parents as proxy tutors to ensure the children move ahead nonetheless. Lots of parents employ tutors as well.

You're not alone. I wonder from time to time what would happen if I just let my children bob along on the tide with school. I think DS2 wouldn't learn to write in Reception ("oh, but he's summer born"), would struggle in Y1 and start to resent it ("plenty of boys are late developers with writing") and hit the rocks in Y2 when it became apparent he had never developed the basics. I taught both my boys to read, and I taught (and am still teaching DS1 to form his letters correctly). Neither appears to have done any maths at school beyond what he entered reception doing.

Faeriefruitcake that seems like a raw nerve - perhaps the OP's children have a different experience of education from your own.

OMG TheAvocadoOfWisdom, are you me?

I could have written the exact same post - exactly the same experience here.

What annoys me the most is that when I went round asking parents what the school was like everyone said to me "how wonderful it was". Now I get to dig deeper everyone has tutors, sends them private or does what we do at home - which is effectively homeschooling.

I feel sad for 2 reasons:

• that my children so young have to come home to cover the NC
• that children whose parents do not do what we do end up falling behind and branded "non-academic".

I absolutely loathe being in the situation where I have to constantly play catch-up with what the children have not learned at school - it's really disheartening and I would LOVE not to have to do it.

Changing schools is not easy and to be honest I would never know what a school was really like until my children went there, so if I do ever take the plunge it will have to be somewhere where I am convinced this situation will not reoccur.

not really your point i know - but the star jumps homework doesn't sound too bad! if you wanted to stretch him, you could get him to do it a few times and compare how many he can do each time (averages etc). you can be creative within the realms of his actual homework to avoid the 'x'.

The thing is, my children's school is very good in many ways. It's hugely nurturing, and the children love it. We live in a grammar schools area and a good proportion of Y6 kids get places every year. But I do believe that the school is coasting on the backs of the effort put in by parents, the overwhelming majority of whom are middle class and educated, and deeply engaged with their children's academic progress.

TheAvocadoofWisdom - our school is identical. The children love it, it's Ofsted Oustanding and very good with behaviour etc....and although it is not in a grammar school area a few children go to the selective 11+ independents.

But I know for a fact that a lot of children have tutors and even when we first went round to visit the school the headteacher confessed that they were lucky because of their catchment!

I could have written your post, op. The only thing that I can add is that I feel so sad that the evenings are filled with my 'educational activities' rather than the hobbies, playdates and general chill time that I had anticipated for my ds' childhood. I feel guilty for making him do this extra work and guilty if I don't because then I feel that I'm letting him down.

I don't know how parents manage if they have more than 1 dc or do out to work.

bishthefish I feel the same way!

I have 4 children and I work and it is hell keeping up with it all. I don't do a great job of it but I do my best.

"The only thing that I can add is that I feel so sad that the evenings are filled with my 'educational activities' rather than the hobbies, playdates and general chill time that I had anticipated for my ds' childhood. I feel guilty for making him do this extra work and guilty if I don't because then I feel that I'm letting him down."

Sometimes I feel as if school were six hours per day where the state takes my child from me to lessen her life chances (to make things fair, no doubt) because if she were with me all day she would learn so much more (and she does, during the holidays!). Grrrrr.

bishthefish - feel the same. I work 3 days a week - get in at 6 ish and have to put toddler in front of Cbeebies immediately so I can spend the only quality time i get with DD1 doing schoolwork.

Interested to know if those with DC in private primary schools feel the same. Or is it just that there is so much homework when they get in that they end up in the same situation?

Everyone has the choice to home educate if they should wish. Obviously a child will learn more with 1:1 attention all day.

Reading is one of those things where parental support is essential for quicker, mire effective progress. Schools teach the skills - phonics, blending, segmenting, etc. the practise of reading needs to be done regularly and often. There isnt enough time in class to do this individually with 30 children. Parental support makes all the difference here.

Re the star jumps homework. I am wondering if this is related to a homework regarding time, and the passing of time. See if you can see how long a minute is, what can you do in a minute, etc. MIght be linked to class work related time the measurement of time.

If just a random homework, well not great I agree. But it takes 1 minute, so not really a big deal.

We don't actually set homework other than reading, even then it is optional. But we do get lots of parents coming in asking for it!

Dc's school expect a lot of input from parents. They make it very clear that it is a partnership between school and home.
To be fair they make this very clear from the first interview, so you know what you're getting.

I know some parents do grumble, but to be honest I've always loved being involved. (I'm aware this probably makes me pretty sad).

jasperc123. DD aged 5, yr 1 private primary (non selective)

Very happy with school and progress she is making. Things that help - we get a very detailed term plan off teacher setting out exactly what they are teaching. They have a meeting at the start of each year explaining about the way they teach phonics and maths. They are not obliged to stick rigidly to NC.

I think she gets an appropriate amount of homework - reading book changed every day, daily spellings to learn for weekly spelling test, english comprehension work 3 times a week and maths once a week. I enjoy seeing what she is learning - she was telling me about 's meaning belonging to last week so I know grammer is being taught.

I only have my 70's state education to compare it to - she is doing more than I did at that age and what friends tell me. DD's curriculum seems to be on a par with what yr2 state around here are doing.

soory should be my 80's

Home education doesn't bring the social aspect of school (which I value highly).

It doesn't I agree. Mind you, there are many people on the Home Ed parts of MN who say that there is often a ver active social element to Home Ed in many parts of this country, no idea about other countries.

I do think that a child's education should be a partnership between school and home.

OP, yes. I can't count the number of occasions the DC come home from school telling me what they did that day (participated in yet another percussion workshop with yet another incoming group so teachers could catch up, followed by learning to 'make' tortillas, involving chopping cucumber with blunt knives and adding it to a wrap smeared in ketchup.) They're in yr 5. Meanwhile homework is learn the 7 and 8 times tables by Wednesday, plus maths sheets on improper fractions when they haven't even studied improper fractions. They never have homework which consolidates what they did that day in class.

They spend so long at school singing and dancing and gardening and cooking. All lovely, but I get miffed when they have to come home to two hours of tutoring by me to make up for all the fun they had there. It should be the other way round. I want the paid teacher to grind the times tables into them and I will gladly make crap ketchup-heavy tea with them for free.

Honestly? No, my experience of school is not like that at all. Homework is always based on stuff they have done in class. They spend most of the morning, every morning, on literacy and numeracy, in ability groups from Year 1 upwards. They also do lots of topic work, PE, cooking, projects etc to keep life interesting.

Both my daughters appear to be learning everything they need to at school, with homework being merely a consolidation of what has already gone on in class. They are well ahead of expectations for their age so I feel under no pressure to extend what's going on in school.

Their school is a straightforward state primary, "satisfactory" according to Ofsted, although it seems pretty damn good from where I'm sitting.

Hi everyone im glad im not the only one that feels this way. after faerifruitcake's comments i was too scared to write any more!

maybe i was a bit too dismissive of the star jump homework and could have made it into more 'useful' lessons.

i dont think i would ever consider home schooling as i don't think it would suit myself or ds. I would go mad if it was just me and ds, and he loves going to school. i enjoy doing 'some' extra work with ds as as a parent i do feel we have a certain responsibility to engage our kids in educational fun and activities - i have no problem doing this as im sure most parents have no problems. But its the increasing pressure to do so and to do more that i don't feel is right. i dont even know the correct ways to teach ds certain things so i dont know if im going to end up messing him up!

I work 16 hours per week as well as studying for a degree and when i have been to work the last thing i wanna do is sit and do school work - but i do because i have to.

im lucky as i only have one ds to focus on so i cant imagine how hard it is for those who have more than 1.

do all schools by year 2 have spellings as homework? my ds's school dont 'believe' in them so it is also my job to teach ds to spell

I work in an infant school. We go up to Y2 and we give NO homework other than reading, and definitely no spellings. Spelling tests have absolutely no academic benefit. They do not help a child learn to spell. Most children can do well in spelling tests if learning them by rote, but come independent work it makes no difference whatsoever. If a child is doing phonics at school, which they should be, the spelling comes from that - and from regular reading, etc. Spelling tests are a waste of time and not a good use of homework time.

TBH though. My Dd is in Y5 and I have never yet felt any form of pressure to teach her stuff at home. Yes, we might do some things in the holidays to consolodate her learning, and I certainly encourage her to sit and do homework, but that's it.

Hmm... I might say be careful what you wish for. My dcs go to an independent school where I think they're performing at capacity. They work hard and play hard at school. There are loads of extra-curricular activities and most children do several in lunchtimes and/or after school ranging from learning an instrument to various sports clubs to debating and speech and drama. While the school does much more than I ever expected from a school to support and challenge the children academically and in other areas, there is homework most nights and the children need supervision and support with this. There are no excuses so if dd1 misses school or homework because she's representing the school in a swimming gala for example she will be expected to catch up the following night or at the weekend. So, while I would not say we're 'filling in gaps' the commitment to supporting the work the school sets and driving the children about to various sports etc is huge. I should add that both dcs see hwk as a way of life and part of their routine like brushing their teeth although they usually enjoy it as long as they're not too tired. Dd1 is absolutely thriving in all ways. I've had my doubts about dd2 as I've posted before but she seems to be happier now and is being offered lots of support at school.