parenting courses

[kaymadhok]

Would mumsnet menbers support a online petition outlining mandatory parenting courses for new parents delivered to Downing Street?
The crime, drug-taking,sex industry and pain experienced by youth who have not had adequate parenting could be avoided, an organisation called "Triple P" deliver skills to anger management(i am not affiliated to them , i have come across them in my endeavours to set up a social enterprise in Mental Health Promotion).If Cameron implemented parented courses, can it not be shown an increase in health and income and stability for the young,plus saving the goverment money in the long-term!!!

Mandatory?

How would you enforce it? And it would be for 'every new parent'? Even those who are mega rich? In big houses with staff and maybe a nanny??

And celebs?

Especially those with nannies, and celebs?

I think there's something to be said for it, actually. Those who don't need them (ie who've had great parenting themselves and have inbuilt skills) could attend and support those who do!

Who's going to pay for it?

I thought we were in a huge debt crisis with cuts left right and centre?

Eli...but who would be the ones to say who is already a good parent and who is struggling?

Maybe there are loads of good parents to babies and small children, but what about when kids hit their teens??

Thankyou for your responses!!! It would be mandatory for the lower socioecomic strata, with the higher incomes subsidising the less well off.950,000 long term unemployed, it ia realatively small number to invest in compared to the population of the Britrish Isles, can you imagine the mental health of future generations if they were given the right start, the ghettos would be eradicated.

I think it's pointless, sorry. The ones who don't want to go won't pay attention and some people will probably be quite offended and likely defensive.

Plus who decides what is "good" parenting? What is right for one family is totally wrong for another. Unless it's just a class to tell people "Don't beat your kids. And don't feed them haribo for every meal." in which case it's going to come across as rather patronising.

An optional buddy group system incorporated into antenatal classes would be good. I was always too nervous to ask people's numbers etc at baby groups to go off and meet for a coffee or something, I went to NCT classes, so had a group from there, but not everyone can afford this or likes the reputation of the NCT as an organisation.

Erm, it would be mandatory for the lower socioeconomic strata?

I get it. Poor people are automatically terrible parents

Hold on...... In my nannying days, it really was an eyeopener, they might have money, but Jesus, they were useless, damaging parents in some ( ok, a lot) of cases!! What about them??

Money doesn't matter

Ghetto?? Explain further....

Sorry, kaymadok, I think you are very naive. Why are you assuming some sessions from the "parenting experts" will eradicate poor parenting. There are many poor parents who can give all the right answers but that is not reflected in their actual behaviour.

It also does not take into account changes in people's circumstances; people who start out as good parents but get into drink or drugs or even depression and whose parenting suffers as a consequence. Likewise, losing your home or your job can have an effect. Also the break up of relationships or the forming of new relationships can have a devastating effect on children. Conversely, staying with an abusive partner can have similarly destructive effects. Problems experienced by young people can also be the result of bereavement, something completely outwith our control.

I am all in favour of support for parents experiencing difficulties, but that has to be ongoing. Compulsion to attend a one-off course would be comparatively useless.

I also find your blanket assumption that low-income parents must be bad parents deeply insulting. I am not sure what you mean by ghettos, so do not know how parenting courses could eradicate them.

Anything new is scary, in time people would see the benefits of well adjusted children,mandatory means they would have to go,i am talking about the avidance of damaging lives that abuse themselves and others being halted. An educator instructing parents in skills in how to understand their children,alot of angry parents out there raising equally angry children, the programme would reach out to all classess but specifically target those who were most dysfunctional with little aspirations.I, were not born good parents, how about someone teaching us the psychology of children,its about education!

Being poor does not make you a bad parent, it might make it harder to parent but it doesn't necessarily make you a worse parent.
The government have already pledged to offer parenting classes, not just to the lower socioecomic strata.
Her's what Cameron has said about parenting The Telegraph

Kay...it's about education? Well I think YOU need more education yourself,your posts are littered with mistakes. Very basic ones too, I hope you don't have children, so they aren't getting passed on?

Very interesting first post though,welcome to mumsnet!!

I grew up in a ghetto, there was domestic abuse, child abuse, poor school attendence, the enviroment led all us all to drugs,promiscuity and crime, if parenting courses had been implemented,my peers would have had a better start in life regardless of the poverty, they would have had a self esteem and foundations to make healthy choices instead of following in the footsteps of their parents.

Plus i am suggesting parenting skills up to teenage years, not one off courses!

Yeah, and all of those things happen to middle class families as well.

Sure Start is a much better thought out idea IMO and does seem to be making a difference, shame the funding is cut on it as too many "nice middle class people" are supposedly using it.

where did you grow up?? What is a 'ghetto'?

A parenting course or two isn't going to stop domestic abuse, child abuse, poor school attendance, drugs etc. Parenting courses may provide a cheap alternative to giving people real probably expensive help

I have run a parenting course, not Triple P, do you have any concept of how difficult it is to engage a group of teens, get them to rethink their whole attitude to parenting; respecting themselves and their children in 2 hours a week for 10 weeks?

How would you envisage parents who don't want to be on these courses will engage and put in place the message these courses are delivering once they get home?

From a parents perspective I believe in the message the course I ran tries to deliver. Most of the messages we delivered came easy to me because the ethos was one I try to adhere to (without having read loads of parenting books). However, my eldest has dabbled in drugs my youngest was a regular truant during his last year of school - primarily due to the school failing to meet his SEN needs and a lack of action surrounding bullying - issues I as a parent had little control over.

What qualifications would you envisage those running parenting courses would have?

i can't be bothered to look op, but please tell me this is your first post and you were bored on a saturday afternoon/ evening so thought you'd have a bit of a troll around mumsnet? please?

because otherwise i'd have to thank my lucky stars i left the country two years ago and got away from such a patronising nanny state, where manadatory parenting courses right up to the teenage years are being proposed by a torygraph reader who has developed an aversion to her roots.

i'm all for education, don't get me wrong. but i'm not in favour of any increase in governmental dogma, particularly where the relationship between my children and i are concerned.

i can only assume you have not had a child with sn, kay. the levels of parental blame are already burgeoning nicely in the sn world, with pseudo-complusory attendance on parenting courses. it doesn't seem to be having your desired outcome though.

Madwoman.... Lol!!

There is a charity near me which runs free parenting courses for all parents in the area which are genuinely appreciated by those who attend looking for support and ideas. I would love it if every parent in the country had the chance to attend these fantastic courses in their own towns. Unfortunately, even in an area where the courses exist and are well received, there are a significant number of parents who will never attend because they feel that only bad parents attend parenting courses.

The vast majority of parents are doing a good job - why should they feel judged for attending a course which helps them do an even better job of parenting?

Unfortunately the OP is simply perpetuating every negative stereotype about parenting courses and the people who attend them.

giving some funding back to SureStart would be something

but a mandatory parenting course raises all sorts of questions:

do we force parents to take time off work? or does it have to be during maternity leave? do we provide childcare or a creche?

who is going to be running all these courses and what qualifications will they have?

who decides what counts as good parenting? attachment or controlled crying? speak-so-they-will-listen or naughty step?

if it is mandatory you will end up with a fair few parents who feel they are better qualified than the organiser to pronounce on these issues

you will certainly end up with parents from different cultures and different parenting philosophies