If you could afford to send your kids to a private school, would you?

[juicychops]

or would you choose for them to go to a 'normal' state school?

just curious what your responses will be

I send 2 to private, the difference is astounding!!!!! One child is at a state primary but will be moving soon. MY DS 1 was doing dreadfully in an "outstanding primary" 30 in a class french once a week sport twice a week.
Now he has 17 in his class, french, Latin, Spanish several times a week. In the rugby team (and the football)he loves rowing and his confidence is incredible, (his respect for us, and everything has improved, as have his manners)
Youngest child is still at the apparently first class outstanding primary, the reading books he brings home are a load of old tosh, he hasn't started learning french yet, the teachers can't wait to get the kids out the door at 3.00pm! Far too many inset days, hardly any homework, etc, etc. The difference between a 7 year old (year 2) at state is an ocean away from a 7 yr old at a pre prep.
A friends 7 yr old at a small private school has been given a book about Henry V111 as his home reader, and has a French test next week. My 7 year old, still does sticking and glueing, and the teacher can't control 30 kids.
I will be sending no 3 to prep come year 3. The state sector has not done my children any favours, unless you count recorder practice, and music and movement.
I went private, DH was a grammar school boy. The best things we can give our kids is love, fun, and if we can afford it a damn good education. (IMO)

Even if we could afford it we wouldn't because it would mean boarding school and that is over 100 miles away.

No, because we have excellent state schools locally at both primary and secondary level where they mix with a whole cross section of the (very diverse) local community.

Although military academy sounds tempting for DC1 at the moment....

chickydoo sticking at seven?

That is very far from my experience, I have to say.

All schools are different, I couldn't be happier with our state primary and if I wasn't happy, Id have them in private in a flash.

Yes

I'm also very about sticking and glueing at age 7 - not at all what either of my DDs experienced at age 7 in their state school.

I am also very at using the amount of homework (i.e. lots = better) as a measure of whether a school is any good - there is no research evidence that homework does anything to improve academic achievement or predicts future success.

I tend to take small amounts of well targeted homework (that is, homework that builds on foundations established at school and moves things on, is interesting, involves developing things like research skills) as an indication that the school and its teachers are doing their job in school hours, leaving the rest of the time for our DDs to play and have a life.

There were times when I considered selling up and sending my 3 teenagers to boarding school.....That was only on a really bad day!

I would and I am. DS has just been offered a place next August.

I would and we're currently looking for one. Not happy with two schools within our catchment area. There is an excellent school nearby but unfortunately not within catchment area and oversubscribed so no chance of getting in. Interesting though how many parents have matter of fact told me that those two schools will be perfectly fine for my DS (smile politely and nod), when most of them have already secured places for their own DC in excellent schools, with a few admitting that have moved just to be within the catchment area of outstanding schools they like.

So definitely would consider private due to circumstances. Not sure though if we're actually classed as being able to 'afford' sending our DC there as we will be left with nothing after paying the fees.

I'm curious about the frequent comments; I want my children to have friends from all backgrounds/diverse community what does this really mean? My DS1 is at a very middle class state comp. all his friends are appear to be middle class just like us there are literally only 2 -3 children who are from other ethnic backgrounds. My DS2 is at a top boys boarding school his friends come from the UK China Africa India etc etc. His friends from this school and his prep come from different backgrounds fairly wealthy, wealthy, very wealthy, and bloody hell wealthy some live in castles/ 30 bedroomed piles others live in big house others live in more average house. At his school on a daily basis he comes into contact with cleaners cooks maintenance men who he is expected at all times and does treat with respect. As he gets older he is expected to undertake voluntary work on a weekly basis working within the local community particularly with those not as lucky as he is. DS1 does not have to do any of these things such activities are voluntary.
So IMHO it would appear that DS2 at his independent school has more involvement with people/friends from other backgrounds than DS1,

Nope, never. Not about sacrificing for my principles or anything - it's not what I'd want for them, and I wouldn't.

Yes, DS goes to independent school. I looked at various independents and state schools (primary level) before selecting this particular one. Class sizes are smaller and there's a wider range of lessons/activities. I think he will have far more opportunities and his education is far less likely to be disrupted by the whims of government ministers/spending cuts etc etc.

How can it be socially and culturally diverse, when it's made up of people who can afford private school fees? At my daughter's rather Boden-y middle class primary, i can still only think of about two parents in the class who could afford private if they wanted it.

Of course it can be socially and culturally diverse. There are children from various ethnic backgrounds at DS's school. And not everyone is super wealthy. Some receive bursaries and some households have both parents working in order to finance the school fees (we fall into the latter category).

I think the message loud and clear from this thread, as others, is that you just can't give a general answer because there is so much diversity in both sectors, and everyone's experience is different.

A more sensible question would be, "if you could afford to send your kids to a private school, AND there was one near you that was the best option for your child, all things considered, would you?"

For me the answer to that question would be yes - although we live in a grammar area so the private option would have to be especially good to justify the difference. But I'm certainly not buying into any presumption that private schools must be better just because they're private. There are some shockers out there.

Malcontentinthemiddle you said: "at my daughter's rather Boden-y middle class primary" where is the social and cultural diversity there. You seem to think that people can be divided only into the haves and the have nots. This is a very narrow outlook. Its important that we mix with all cross sections of society different ethnic backgrounds, cultures, levels of wealth then children will see that it is not necessary to pigeon hole people. There are decent people in all walks of life and there are unpleasant people its only by being exposed to a broad cross section that we realise this.

Well yes there will be children from different ethnic backgrounds. They're all rich though, d'you see? Both parents working to afford fees? shock horror!

Talk about living in a bubble!

No. Live nr one of the best Secondary schools in the country.

There is a lot of boden at the primary, this is true - although there are other walks of life too - but that does change radically at secondary. It happens that out primary is near the university and so it has a lot of academics' children at it, and also a wider ethnic variation than many schools in the city - but I am not so naive as to think that consorting with the daughter of a Somali Phd student's child is the same as encountering a wide social and ethnic mix!

Same goes for the children of Russian oligarchs at public school - hardly a diverse cultural mix!

I'm not sure you should be telling me about the benefits of a wide social mix, with your child at private school! My older child meets people of different ethnicity and wealth, but in the context of them being in her form group, rather than that of volunteering to help them as poor unfortunates so she can put it in her personal statement for UCAS.

There are probably more wealthy parents at our local state school than at ds's prep school. The local state school is in an area of hugely large houses - think £750,000 for a semi and we aren't in London. The wealthy send their dcs to the small sweet village school. The rest of us don't get a look in either because we don't live close enough to the school or we can't afford to not work or pay childcare costs to cope with a school that does 9 to 3 and no wraparound care provision at all.

I would for secondary.

I love our state primary so not so mad about the secondary and my DS is struggling a little there so if I could afford a private school that met his needs I wouldn't hesitate.

But they not all rich at my DS2 school; generous bursaries are available to all who meet the academic criteria.
At DS1 school/friends/parents are frankly much narrower culturally and even financially; nice middle class parents who are living in an ancient market town. Most rarely leave the safety of it and certainly have no experience of how those at the bottom of the heap manage/live.