If you could afford to send your kids to a private school, would you?

[juicychops]

or would you choose for them to go to a 'normal' state school?

just curious what your responses will be

Poor bloody state schools, they can't do right for doing wrong! Push the bright ones and you're a SATS factory who ignores the middling children who could really do with the push you get from private - push the C graders and you're ignoring the bright ones who need... um.... pushing. Stream and you're being narrow and elitist - don't stream and you're letting the clever ones down. Have strict behaviour expectations and you're 'just doing crowd control'; or don't (except they all do) and you're letting them run havoc.

I still suspect the main problem a lot of the people who shun state education have with it is there are just too many chavs in it!

I'm a grammar school girl myself (and RG uni too for my sins). I know exactly what you mean. I always wanted to be an actress or something and never dared try because it simply wasn't done at my school - you did "proper" subjects and tried to take over the world. After graduating from my RG university with a degree in a lovely old fashioned non vocational subject and a hundred weight in books I had no idea what to do with myself.

Sorry, haven't read the whole thread, but my answer is yes. We do send our DC to private school and are glad that we can afford it.

Elaine, isn't the point just that people try to choose the school that is right for their child at the time, if they are fortunate enough to have the choice? My choice may be entirely different for DD when it comes to it. For example the other private school within striking distance of our house is "better" in many ways than the one DS attends but I discounted it for him because it is a girls' school which due no doubt to economic pressures went co-ed for prep a few years ago. I don't think boys necessarily do well at what are essentially girls' schools. It may be perfect for DD.

We have specialist sport's academies for children gifted at sport. We have specialist music colleges for children gifted at music. We have specialist dance/ballet schools for children gifted at dance...

That's not really how state school specialisms work, I don't think!

Meh, I dunno. My daughter gets annoyed by people arsing about sometimes, I just don't think it's that big a deal - not big enough to want her in an environment where everyone's super-clever (or rich) anyway. They have to learn a bit of tolerance at some point!

Elaine, the problem for me is that I worry (based on my own teaching experience) that a child as academic as my DD1 will not be encouraged to do food tech and follow her dream to be a chef (if that's what she wants). I worry that they'll just see an academically gifted child very capable of getting 5 A* Alevels and encourage her to do so.
I simply don't want her to feel that she has to follow the 'path for clever children' because she's very clever. If she wants to be a hairdresser that's fine by me and I want her at a school that will fully support her in this.

I will be expecting As and A*s from my daughter at her comp, and so will the school, as that is what 50 - 100% of entrants achieve there in most subjects. They also have state of the art blah blah blah and are very good at sports too!

they'd get to network with more influential people

rofl - I thought we were talking about 7 yr olds?

Didn't realise "going to Jimmy's birthday party" was actually "networking" these days!!!

Georgi I think it's true that a lot of people choose the school they think is best (and it just so happens to be private, luck of the draw, fancy that!) a lot of the time.

Whether or not that's the point, I'm less clear.

lovin that's what I mean about state schools not being able to do right for doing wrong! If they were to proactively encourage very bright children to do Food Tech, I know for absolute sure there are people on here who would find that scandalous!

FWIW my daughter who's always been considered pretty bright wasn't steered towards academic-only choices for GCSE, although they were available. I don't think anyone would have tried to stop her doing Food or Product Design if she'd wanted.

Well you seem to be convinced that everyone at private school is super clever or super rich, or both. My experience is that many people at private schools are neither, but have chosen the school for reasons that suit their family. I'd be delighted if the local state school had classes of 6 in reception and after school care I could decide as late as 3pm to use that day, and judo/cubs/spanish club/cookery club/debating club etc on site, but they don't.

So your private school is free then? Wowz!

Er, no. Obviously not. But it's not super yacht territory either.

Some do georgiemama

My kids do and have done, Judo, fencing, drama, rugby, football, x country, dance, guitar, cycling and an after school childcare club you can phone up that morning and book in to.

Great, but not around here. If my local state primary had all that, I might send DS there. But it doesn't so I don't.

But well out of the reach of most people, yeah?

Look, I've been lambasted elsewhere for saying that if you earn over £42k and have a mortgage, you're not really that wealthy. We do, and we couldn't afford school fees in a gazillion years. So everyone there is much much richer than the national average. Apart from the very clever ones, of course.

Which takes me back, Groundhog day like, to the argument that every school is different!

And I, also groundhoggishly, to the proposition that private school parents don't have a clue about the real world. Seems very disingenous to say the only factor all these parents have in common is that they 'felt it was the right choice for them'!

7 years ago my dc had a place in reception at a girls' private day school. We could have afforded it and as I'd been educated privately it seemed a natural thing to do. And yet she had spent a very happy time in the nursery of our local primary. We decided to keep her there. It has been a great success for her. Now it's time to choose secondary school and we have looked into state and private including my own school. We will not be going private. It seems a different world from when I attended with lots of corporate-style marketing and branding. We are lucky that there are good state secondaries in our area. Having looked at many schools in both sectors over a couple of years my eventual conclusion was that for a motivated child the private sector was not offering an educational experience so fabulous that it warranted the fees. And I'm not interested in paying for my child to be solely surrounded by middle-class children - she has thrived in a varied environment.

I don't even have a mortgage. We rent. And DS's school fees cost less than his childminder did.

"private school parents don't have a clue about the real world."

Want some fish to go with that chip?

I think you'll discover that private school parents are not blind. We are perfectly aware of the real world.

When the kids are doing 'Judo, fencing, drama, rugby, football, x country, dance, guitar, cycling and an after school childcare club you can phone up that morning and book in to.' at the prep school, where does the rest of world really come into it, though?

And score 1000 for the 'chip on shoulder' line - Godwin's law of the private/state debate!

Genuine question though - when you decided to go private, was there any part of you that worried your children might become a little bit entitled, and look down on state school children? Because I have to say the private school children I encounter do seem to.