If you could afford to send your kids to a private school, would you?

[juicychops]

or would you choose for them to go to a 'normal' state school?

just curious what your responses will be

Ah, that's a shame taffeta.

That's what happened to my nephew. A happy child is more likely to thrive.

Coast, why wouldn't you send your dd to a grammar?

Meteorite, I would send her to the local comp before I'd see in in a grammar school so yes, I'm lucky to have the choice.

Thing is, as I said on the other thread, there is little or no social mix at our local comp and none at all at the local primary by virtue of the house prices in the catchment so there is absolutely no social advantage to be gained from paying.

Awful, pissfarterleech. I went to 8 different schools, and am above all else, determined my children go to one primary and one secondary.

We moved out of London a few years ago, partly for better secondary schools. But we live in a much cheaper house than the one we left. We have a choice of 3 outstanding secondary schools which all have different benefits/strengths so you can pick the best one for your child. They are all socially diverse, and ethnically they reflect the local population (over quite a wide area, not just a small catchment).
lollington many of us who are 'anti' private schools are also anti grammar, as we do not like all this divisiveness.

Blueyonder - some of the 'best' schools like tiffin are such oddities. Most schools are in a large swathe between Tiffin and sink schools. I think most of us are talking from experience somewhere in the grey zone

Because she is exceptionally bright. She's 6yrs old working at the level of a 10yr old. I have taught in state secondaries. I just know she'd be pushed and pushed academically. She'd be expected to take an excessive amout of GCSEs and Alevels and would be expected to do all the academic subjects. We chose her school knowing that they'd be just as happy if she chose 3 Alevels in Art, drama and food nutrition if that's what she wants. My experiences in the state sector tell me that's not the case for kids like her there.

I don't believe in the 'one size fits all' principle of state education so we are coming at this from completely different viewpoints.

Food tech is so much more useful than French, IMHO.
Everyone needs to cook!

I don't believe the principle of state education is that 'one size fits all', so yes, we are!

Hear hear Elaine. There are loads of different subject options available, alternatives to GCSE for less academic kids, etc.

I think my DH would agree with you, pissfarterleech! Are you a SAHM by any chance with a recent namechange?

I may well be lovingthecoast

"It seems to me that we less often hear people complain about places for dc at rural comps"

I think that is less about relative standards and more an indication that choice is even more of an illusion in rural areas - the travel distance to the "next nearest" school (with no school transport) is completely impractical so the choice is to take what you are given, or occasionally for DC to travel further to a church-affiliated school, or private (often also with extended travel, but hopefully with buses available (at further cost)) - no point appealing and begging to get into a school which your DC couldn't get to anyway.

Interesting recent thread here mentions the Dutch education system, which has 3 overlapping tiers. Would work well, I think!

But lovingthecoast, in state education, what kind of level is a ten year old expected to be working at? It's all v. subjective when it comes to that kind of thing. Probably in China they'd think the level of a ten year old was what you think the level of a 14 year old is, etc etc.

True, stealth - it's one of the reasons I wouldn't want to live in the countryside to be honest! I grew up in a town where there was one secondary and everyone went there except maybe 1 every few years who bussed off a fair way to go private - and the school was crap. Really insular and complacent and generally rather poor (think it's special measures now). But then I also don't live where I grew up because I like there to be shops and parks and cinemas and theatres and restaurants, as well as schools, I suppose.

Lest anyone accuse me now of 'buying my way out', that would also apply to chocolate boxy villages as well - I just like cities better!

Sorry, quirrelquarrel, I'm not sure I understand what you're saying. I think a 6yr old working at the level of a 10yr old is fairly unusual. Teachers have already labelled her as gifted. It's not just her school who have decided this. I'm a teacher myself with 3 other children so I can look at it objectively.

Oh I'm not trying to say she's not gifted, I do believe you. I'm just saying- a state school, which to you verges on the wrong side of pushy, doesn't actually demand very much of its 10 year olds- not exactly a paradox- I've never seen a bright child pushed too much in a state school, only in private schools with all their obvious benefits.

It is unusual for a 6 year old to have the cognitive etc abilities of an average 10 year old, but it's not unusual for a bright 6 year old to be able to do a lot of the work that average 10 year olds are set these days (average in the traditional sense...). What kind of standards are you using?

I guess your experience is different from mine then. I have taught in very pushy state schools and the school whose catchment we were in when it was time to apply for her gets close to 90%L4s at Y6 and well above 50% level 5s. So yes, IMO, thats academically pushy.

As for DD1, she started Y1 two weeks ago and over the summer has read the entire Roald Dahl collection. She was reading Horrid Henry on entry to Reception. In maths she can work confidently with numbers up to 10000 and use all four operations. So maybe I'm well off the mark but as a teacher I'd say that's fairly unusual and as a mother it worries me somewhat.

No. I'm eternally grateful that my parents didn't cave in to pressure from my aunt to have me do the scholarship test for private school her son went to. We were poor and I felt poor even in the state school I went to. I hated being the only girl who couldn't dress fashionably and have hair cut often enough not to look like a scruff - teenage girls are so vicious about things like that. Hated school until after 16 when I found friends who cared more about personality than appearance. It would have been a million times worse at private school, I would have been the poor scruffy girl, and would have spent hours on the bus commuting instead of walking to school with my friends and sisters and having time to do things out of school. I got straight As and went to uni a happy confident person with good friends I'm still in touch with today. I think it's wrong to assume that private school would deliver a better outcome, even for academic children. Also not comfortable with putting my child in an environment where money buys you an advantage over people who have the same talents but not the privilege, don't think that's a good life lesson.

lovethecoast, my DS1 also just started Y1 and actually an August birthday (so just turned 5) and just read a couple of Roald Dahl books, now on his third - it never crossed my mind he was gifted - is he? (just curious!)

It would worry me too if I had a child like that in the state school system (because they wouldn't push her hard enough). But I can't believe we've got to the stage where we're actually worrying about six year olds reading Roald Dahl (I'm assuming you don't mean Uncle Oswald). I hope you don't feel like I'm attacking you or anything, because I'm not, but why don't you just enjoy her being bright? She won't be ruined/miserable just because she's clever or if she's hothoused.
Btw, she does sound impressive! I'm really not trying to make her seem average. But I think that 50 years ago we would have been looking at this differently. In the late 1800s, kids were reading Dickens and Jules Verne.

How can you have 90% Level Four and 50% Level Five? I'm a bit stupid at Maths but if you meant 90% L4+, it doesn't seem that bad. I got full marks in the English test and my grammar was atrocious, judging by my Y7 autobiography essay thingy- it's not exactly a stringent exam.

No question - independent always.

I really wouldn't know. DD1's birthday is 3rd Sept so she's a whole yr older than your DC so he's certainly very able if reading Roald Dahl at just turned 4! DD1's genearl knowledge is vast too and she wants to know everything about everything which wears me down.

I'm certainly not boasting about her. Her older brother is bright which is great. Her younger sister is probably academically average which is also great. TBH, I often see it as a hinderance but it's just who she is.