Is football the universal friend maker/breaker for 6 year old boys?

[legacy]

....DS is just turned 6. So far in his little life he seems to have been so balanced/ happy/ confident/ bright etc etc. We really have never had any real issues at nursery/ school.
He's now in Y1 and it seems that life for 6 year old boys is now dominated by football.
DS plays it at football club after school one day but isn't very good at it, if I'm honest. He's not a very co-ordinated boy, is tall and clumsy and actually not much into team sport.
Both of his friends from previous years play - and one of them is very good.
DS has seemed rather less bubbly over the last few weeks, and has occasionally said various things about 'not having any friends' which we've sort of dismissed, as we know he does have friends.
Anyway tonight when I was talking to him about school, all of the following tumbled out:

• he feels like he doesn't have anyone to play with at break / lunch because his friends are all playing football
• he doesn't like playing football, as 'they' (I'm guessing the 'good players'...) make him be in goal, or if he does play, no one kicks the ball to him.. I'm heartbroken for him - this just isn't like the confident little boy I know I can't decide whether I'm also a bit annoyed with DH over this too, beacause although he is a good dad in most ways, he really hasn't encouraged the sport thing, and he rarely takes the DSs out to kick a ball around...

I don't really know what to do - it seems like an ability to play footie is really important for boys - or whether to just let him drop it. I really don't want to make him a little geeky intellectual

DS is 10 in class 6 and he has dyspraxia and hypermobility

And he doesn't play football and luckily quite alot of his class don't either

But in the class below them {class 5} all of them are footie mad and play it at every opertunity

one day a week is the turn of each class to play football in playground and so that means that the less sporty ones can play with the sporty children on 4 days a week

iyswim

could you suggest the rota of playground footie to the head teacher

so then it my help him to have friends but not hve to play footie with them

Hmm...

Yes, football is a big factor for boys, and an ability to play footie is really important for boys.
However, not everyone can play well, and it doesn't have to be a disaster.

DS1 is now 8.5. He's pretty useless at footie (exactly as you describe - tall and gangly and not very well co-ordinated), and he's not particularly interested in football - though dh tries to encourage him in this direction. But he still has friends! All but one of his closest friends are mad about football, and very talented players. DS1 has had to find other things to do at playtimes, and other people to play with, and sometimes he does play football with them.

The other thing I would say is that my ds1 is a nerdy "geeky intellectual". That isn't actually anything we've done, but it is who he is. It took me a while to accept this, I didn't want him to be the eccentric little professor figure. But actually that's who he is, he accepts that, and his friends accept him for who he is; and I felt much better once I accepted it too.

Before having kids I dreamed that mine would be captain of the cricket and rugby teams, as well as life and soul of every party ...
Given the genes they got there was no way this was a realistic dream! But it actually took me a surprising amount of time to adjust my expectations to reality.

I hope something in there is helpful to you.

My DS 5.5 says he is no good at football and likes dinosaurs, doctor who etc so tends to run around scaring the others - oh and they all do play fighting - not much footie but he will occasionally say no one would play with him and they all come out saying hello and giving him manly hugs. They all seem to play together quite well even though my DS is a bit different with his interests he manages to get by. He is starting football over christmas and we will see how that goes.

Roisin that's such a lovely post.

And boy could I worry myself silly about my boys at school - not got to the football stage yet but lots of boys in his class have ManU lunchboxes and hats and mine just aren't into it at all.

Roisin - thanks for that post. Yes - that is VERY helpful, and I recognise some of what you said you felt in me.

There is a list as long as my arm of things DS is really good at, and I've chosen to focus on one thing he isn't

The thing I felt so useless about tonight was knowing how best to help him understand that - it feels as if he thinks his world as he knew it has disappeared. I think there begins to be some 'self-sorting' of boys at this age - the rough ones, the bright ones, the sporty ones, the cheeky ones etc etc, and I think DS has noticed this but doesn't know how to cope with it.

Nor do I!

Thanks for your sensible advice though.