Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Flip

Original poster

DD just doesn't

18 replies

katymacracker · 13/12/2005 22:59

I didn't either

is this a problem that can be inhereted?

She has really struggled over the last year with bullying etc and maybe a personality conflict with the teacher

Still looking at other school (but I have ruled out 2 or 3 local ones)

Is she bored, is she struggling, or is she jsut a pain in the neck for the teacher

I know it sounds awful - but I'm really bored with trying to sort it all out

OP posts:

Original poster

katymacracker · 13/12/2005 23:00

So half my title disappeared

The rest was "fit" in but obviously the "" confused it

OP posts:

MulledWineFlanders · 13/12/2005 23:03

How old is she?

Does she have different interests to her peers or do you have any other idea why she's not fitting in? If the school is very rough or are not doing much to help her then I would consider changing. If not, then you might just be moving the same problems to another school.

Did she fit in ok before the bullying started?

Original poster

katymacracker · 13/12/2005 23:07

She's 8
She does Brownies, Youth Club, Piano & Gym

She has given up Swimming, Ballet & Ballroom (at my insistance - cos she was doing too much)

It's a very small school with mixed age classes

She has normally seemed OK - but this last year everything has gone downhill (about the same time as the new teacher started...now I think about it)

OP posts:

FauveGoldRings · 14/12/2005 00:16

Off the top of my head, I would be looking at a different school. I don't really believe teachers should have personality clashes with children - either the child has a problem of some kind, eg disruptive/demanding/whatever behaviour, which can and should be remedied by the school, eg by providing the child with extra support; or the teacher has a problem. Sorry that sounds a bit severe on teachers, but that's why I'd look to another school. The onus is IMO not on the child to fit into the school; the onus is on the school to make sure the child is accommodated. But then again, it's because that so often fails to happen that so many people home educate.

MulledWineFlanders · 14/12/2005 01:21

KM - I doubt if it's inherited, hopefully it's just a phase and she'll be fine soon. My DS doesn't fit in either but he's autistic so no big surprise there. I can relate to getting fed up of trying to sort things out though.

How is she at Brownies, etc...? Does she seem to fit in there OK?

Maybe it is something to do with her teacher if it started as soon as they arrived. What does your DD say about school?

swedishmum · 14/12/2005 06:41

Sounds like my dd (just 10) - have just had so much minor hassle since the new teacher started that we're off to look at another school tomorrow but haven't told her yet. We're also in a rural school with mixed classes. My dd1 never really fitted in at primary school with the other kids in her year but loves the grammar school she's just started. It's so hard in small schools - I would much prefer two classes per year group (dd1's year had only 12 children).

Original poster

katymacracker · 14/12/2005 07:43

Swedishmum - how are you going to deal with the "losing my friends" - I'm saying if they are your friends you won't lose them - but it's not going down well

OP posts:

roisin · 14/12/2005 07:57

My ds1 isn't a "standard model", and tends to stand out rather than fit in. But for him being in a large-ish school (60 per year) has really helped, as there are a number of oddballs who don't blend in for one reason or another, rather than him being the only one iyswim.

Original poster

katymacracker · 14/12/2005 08:20

I'm looking at a larger school, a similar sized school and a smaller one

I'm so confused and unhappy about it all

Why can't children be easy?

OP posts:

FauveGoldRings · 14/12/2005 09:02

Have you asked her current school what they think should happen? If it's a rogue teacher, they may be aware of it and trying to improve his/her behaviour - not that they'll probably admit that to you.

Original poster

katymacracker · 14/12/2005 09:31

Her form teacher is the head.......

OP posts:

swedishmum · 14/12/2005 14:32

Dd is the one keen to move - a couple of her friends are in a different class anyway as y5 is split. That's what she says at the moment. She's one of about 8 in a Y6 class. I haven't decided on a move yet - she's very "individual" so wouldn't necessarily fit in another village school anyway. Will see how it goes. She quite like me to teach her at home but I'm not sure it would be right for her socially. Academically I wouldn't mind at all.
What does your daughter think? If you're anything like us the choice is quite limited - all the schools round here are small unless I drive 8 miles or so which would be hard with 3 other children to get to school on time. It's such a hard decision, isn't it?

Original poster

katymacracker · 14/12/2005 14:48

6 local school are about to under go reorganisation from lower/middle to junior
Another I don't like

Leaving only a very small private school - that I can't get much info about

I'm a bit scared to ask for a prospectus as I might love it and not be able to afford it

So confusing

OP posts:

Berries · 14/12/2005 15:05

KM, we are moving our dd in Jan for similar reasons. I have come to the conclusion it is a mixture of emotional immaturity (dd) and the fact that she is in a very 'difficult' year group. We are moving her from a largeish school (60 per yr) to a v small private one (17 in her class when she joins)
If it helps, most of the fees round here are about the £2k per term mark, but you do have to add extras to that (the uniform cost £300)
We are in the NW BTW

Original poster

katymacracker · 14/12/2005 16:02

Thanks Berries - can you understand why I'm nervous about ringing for the prospectus - or am I just being a wuss?

OP posts:

Berries · 14/12/2005 22:23

don't think you're being a wuss at all. I was really anti private schools when the dds started, as all the state schools around here achieve good results and I wanted the dds to mix with different groups of people. Have changed our minds now though, I think you have to go with the school that is right for your child. Huge financial commitment though, which we are funding from an inheritance luckily.

Original poster

katymacracker · 15/12/2005 07:51

Unfortunatley our inheritance is still alive (she has altzeimers and I really do mean unfortunatley)

But I think I will ring for a brochure [gritting teeth emoticon]

OP posts:

swedishmum · 16/12/2005 09:54

Just been into school to tell HT dd will be starting elsewhere after Christmas - saw a school yesterday. Hard decision but it was the right one for dd. She's happy for me to carry on my teaching practice there but I'll have to see how it goes - it's specialist 1 - to - 1 dyslexia stuff so not ideal to change now anyway. I really like the head and have worked with her so it was hard but my dd comes first of course.

Flip