Moving schools in Yr 4 - positive experiences please

[Berries]

DD2 is in Yr4 of a 'very good' state primary school. DD1 is in Yr5 and has always loved it & thrived there. DD2 was emotionally very immature when she started (4+1mth) and has problems ever since. Her peer group is very manipulative, and there are 3 or 4 girls (out of 18) who are definately top dogs. They frequently ostracise one or other of the girls for some token infringement (not wearing the right colour bobbles in their hair was one) and no-one is allowed to talk to them for the rest of the day. All the other girls seem to follow suit, I suspect so they aren't the next ones to be picked on. DD2s 'turn' comes round every few months, I go in and talk to the class teacher, they talk to the girls & everything calms down for a while, then it kicks off again. Have finally decided that enough is enough & am going to look at small local prep school next week, with dd2. I know that the private school is 'better' in that the class size is very small (16) and they have a strong ethos of nuturing the child emotionally, not just academically (although academically they are very strong also). BUT, I moved school in yr6 (parents moved house) and absolutely HATED it. Logic tells me that whilst the school she is in may try to sort out the problems, if they haven't managed it in 4 years, they are unlikely to do so now, but really hate to have to move her. Has anyone done this? Also, not sure about the effect it would have on dd1, she is very happy at the school, so I wouldn't look at moving her, but need to find some way to make it easier for her. Anyone got 2 children at different primaries, and mix of state/private?
Finally, not sure if we can afford to send both of them to private secondaries, would be £15k per year, excluding 'extras' (like uniform!). Anyone moved from private primary to State secondary?
sorry this is long, but have spent ages worrying about it and would appreciate some unbiased viewpoints (please dont let this get to a state vs private debate) TIA

Can't answer your other questions but we moved dd this September (start of Year 4) into a new school (albeit private to private). She has thrived in her new environment, we promoted it as a very positive thing given that her other school was very small and this one has far better facilities for sports etc.
I don't know whether moving schools during the academic year would be slightly less satisfactory, however in the private system I have seen children join at all times and they seem to fit in very quickly.

I didn't move dd1 from state primary to private at Y3 for many of the reasons you mention, and because I kept hoping that things would get better. She has survived it (is now in Y6) but with hindsight it was a mistake, and I should have moved her.

So unless your dd is dead set against it, I would go with your instincts.

Hard to comment on private primary-state secondary, as it will depend on the area. Here in London we have some v. v. good state secondaries (mainly grammar, but good comps also) as well as lots of terrible ones. It is not at all unusual for children from private prep schools to move to the good state secondaries (not the norm, but not unusual). That's also what we're planning to do with dd2 (ie. private primary followed by (hopefull) state grammar school)

hth

Thanks cam, what were your reasons for moving, if you don't mind me asking, was it just the better facilities? We would also be promoting it as a positive, ie moving to a school which would suit her better, rather than moving away from a bad school. Also have the issue that we can't say anything negative about the school, as dd1 will still be there (should point out that we could move dd1 but she is adamant she wants to stay where she is).

Frogs, that sound hopeful. I also don't want to be sitting here in 2/3 months time, wishing we had moved her when we had the chance. I did think about it at the end of yr3 and decided against it, wish I hadn't now as I think it would have been easier for her. The local state school is a good one, and there is also the possibility of getting her into the neighbouring borough grammar school, which would be the ideal scenario.

Hi Berries, the reason was that I felt dd had outgrown her very small independent school by the age of 8. The classes were so small that the school had become boy-heavy and dd is a very girly girl.
Also in her bigger school team sports are very much promoted and she has gained a place in the netball team and the swimming squad.
Also she had shown herself to be an academic all-rounder by then and her new school has the best reputation in the area.

Interesting Cam. We would actually be moving dd2 to a much smaller school (20 in each yr, current school has 60 in each yr) as I think she needs a bit of space & nuturing to grow up a bit emotionally. Am hoping the smaller school will help with that. Glad to hear your dd is doing so well, would love to be able to post the same thing this time next year.

How many classes per year is that Berries, one or two?

Yes I know what you mean about the nurturing, dd really did have that for years Reception to 3 at her other school - it was very cozy wozy. And of course in a small school they all get to do everything because numbers allow.

But now dd is in a more competitive environment which she is holding her own in, I think it depends on the child. Dd really was ready to spread her wings a bit, in her old school she got the form prize every year and I feared the lack of competition would possibly demotivate her as she got older.

Her new school is still small compared to the state sector, 2 classes per year up to Yr3 then 3 classes of approx. 12 in each in Yr 4 upwards (goes up to Yr 8 - a traditional prep school). So we're looking at dd spending 5 years in total there.

What does your dd think of the new school you're interested in - has she been to see it or been for a taster day?

Hi Cam, it's one class of 16 (will be 17). So not very small class sizes, and there should be a good selection of girls she can make friends with. The school is used for dds holiday club as well (they go 2 days per week) so she is familiar with the environment, and already knows a few of the girls who would be in her class. She is coming with us for the tour next week, and if we decide to send her there, they would like her to come in for at least 1/2 a day beforehand so she can meet everyone before she starts. Also, the headmistress lives about 4 doors away & she is lovely so hopefully it wouldn't all be too strange for her. She really needs a school where they can focus on the pastoral care as well as the academic side as she does need to grow up a bit still. She is now great at home, and in the clubs etc she goes to she never has any problems, but I know she does still have 'strops' with her peer group, and frequently runs off crying, she can't seem to get beyond that behaviour at the school she is in. Having said that, if I had to mix with her peer group I think I'd struggle, they just don't seem to take on board the effect their behaviour has on others (completely different to dd1s group, which are only the year above, at the same school!)

That sounds good Berries. It's such pot luck who they're with in any year grouping isn't it? The dynamics can differ so much. In dd's class most of the girls are "old" for the year ie. have autumn / winter birthdays and they all seem very mature and get on together. Having come from a 1 class per year school, dd is also enjoying the fact of more girls to play with at breaks, etc.

Cam/Frogs, just to let you know, we went to look at the school on Thursday & were very impressed. They asked whether dd2 would like to have a 'taster' day there, so she spent all day there on Friday and absolutely loved it . She's all signed up & raring to go in the New Year. We have decided to let her finish the term at her current school, so hopefully she can leave on a good note, would make things a lot easier as her sister is staying (her choice).
Will keep you posted when she starts, thanks for the advice, it helped make a difficult decision easier.

Just in case you're interested, dd2 started at her new school last Thursday and so far everything is going well. She's been coming home full of enthusiasm, and actually seems to look forward to going to school now. She was also a lot more relaxed during the school holidays, with none of the minor disruptions we used to get as start of term got nearer, I suspect she was having far more problems at her old school than I realised. She's going for her first 'playdate' with one of her new school friends tomorrow, so am hoping it goes well.
Thanks to everyone who contributed (or just listened).