Reception class - too much responsibility - grrrrrrrrrr!!!!

[JonesTheSteam]

Feeling the need to rant tonight!!!!

DD is in her first term of Reception - absolutely loving it - the school has recently had an inspection and did extremely well, and I have no worries about sending her there at all.

The only thing that gets me is the amount of 'responsibility' they expect a 4 year old to have. Every Monday DD has to take in her P.E. kit and her book bag, in which I usually put her homework, reading book and Dinner money. I have explained that she has to give her homework and dinner money to the teacher, but she doesn't always remember, which is not surprising, given that she's only 4!!!! I have started giving it to her in her hand to take in, but with the cold weather, sometimes she's going into class with her book bag in one hand, and hat / gloves in the other and is struggling to carry everything.

What annoys me is that, given that she has a bookbag, why on earth doesn't the teacher look in there for homework or remind the children to look in there for these things. Dinner money is the same - sometimes it's still coming home in her bookbag on the Tuesday night, when a gentle reminder from the teacher would help. (And what's more we get letters 'reminding' parents that dinner money is due in on a Monday). I know the teacher can't waste time looking through everyone's book bag, but you'd think at 4 they'd be reminding them of these things!!! She's a sensible little girl, and if reminded, she would remember to hand these things in.

Tonight, her homework is still in her bookbag!!! Grrrrr!!!!

OK - Rant over - feel better now!!!!

I agree - the teacher could incorporate a reminder in her morning register time surely.

I sued to start most of my classes, at secondary level, with a reminder about getting homework out ready to hand in later on. Only takes a few seconds to say it.

Ridiculous.

We're expected to hand over the dinner money directly to the school. It's absurd to put a 4 year old in charge of money.

And PE kits are kept at school until half term when they're sent home to be washed. (Well, I guess kids don't sweat much!)

Ooh that's just silly! Surely a "now look in your bookbag to get out your homework for me", and "everyone bring your dinner money to my desk now" would make sense???

I would speak to the teacher - can't the teaching assistant help out?

even in yr1, dd's class is given reminders (by the teacher and assistant) about taking stuff out of the book bag to give to the teacher.

Glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks this is absurd - I've taken her money to the office a couple of times myself, but you can guarantee there's usually a large queue of parents on a Monday morning and I usually have a very fractious 2-year-old DS with me!!!!!!

Tonight's rant was started off by the fact that the children were given letters telling parents when the Christmas concerts were and when the tickets would be on sale last Thursday.

DD did not come home with a letter and the first I heard of it was at 3.30pm today!! (Luckily one of the other mums lent me some money to buy tickets as apparently they go very quickly!!) When I asked the teacher if I could have a letter she told me that all the children were given a letter on Thurs and that DD probably dropped it before coming out of school. (She then went and got me a spare letter).

Fair enough - but why give them the letter in their hand - why can't they make sure the children put them in their bookbags so they're safe!! DD had hat / gloves / cardigan (which she'd left in school the previous day) to contend with as well as her book bag and another PE kit (PE on thursday as well as monday - not that they've done it for about 3 weeks!!)

They're only 4!!!!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

In ds's reception class he is responsible for taking out snack, water bottle and toy. Reading book, letters for the school and homework book are all taken out by either teacher or TA. Liekwise letters are put into the back by teacher or TA.

Doesn't stop things going missing though (£10 for a party just gone AWOL - grrr). But more sane than your school.

how strange - -at ds1's school the bookbags are regularly gone through by the TA -- stuff such as homework or forms/money for school outings etc is taken out and any letter to parents put in.

I have even had the pleasure of this chore myself, when helping out in class in yr 1

As a teaching assistant in Early Years can I say that the letter in hand business is because some parents don't look in the book bag from one term's end to the next! I do agree about the dinner money though-we always ask for it at register and I help them look if it's not readily obvious.

Yes DS has on a Monday - Book Bag, PE Bag, Dinner Money for the week, possibly also a lunch box, (today also photo money) and a water bottle !

It hasn't been too bad as up to now we have been encouraged to go in with them & could therefore hand things over - but as from this week - they are on their own!

Ditto to what Caligula said.

Also, DS has a communication book... we were told explicitly at beginning of year to write any concerns or messages in there.

Could you pay the dinner money to the school secretary instead? I often do this, because I can't get exact change together for a sealed envelope. Make a point of saying to secretary every week that it's because you think it's too much to ask a 4yo to be responsible for her own dinner money... maybe it will nudge them to change practice!

zebratwizzler - I have taken DD's dinner money to the office a couple of times on a Monday morning but there's always a long queue and my DS (who's 2) gets very fed up of hanging around.

I try and make a point of reminding DD about the dinner money as she goes in to the cloakroom on a Monday morning, and have even just hung around and given it to her in her hand once she's taken off her coat, so at least she can give it straight to the teacher. So the dinner money hasn't been so bad of late, but now she seems to be taking so much stuff into the class, I'm going to have to leave it in her bag (and TBH I'm quite tempted to do so, to see if it gets taken out!)

I suppose I could just pay a load in advance, and then I wouldn't have to worry about it so often.

We do the gym kit for the half term, and dd doesn't have homework yet (doesn't start until yr1 in our school). Books in book bag (when we remember to take it in ) notes that are important get given to the children at the gate, all others in book bag. dd hasn't started on school dinners yet, but ds (yr2) often forgets to hand his in. We now have a special place in his bag that I put it so he remembers. Our school has just started allowing school dinners to be paid termly, which we might go to, as he enjoys his dinners.

I was going to start a thread a bit like this. The other week my son came out of school without his jumper. I asked where it was, and he burst into tears and said he'd left it at school. So off we went back to the classroom, walked in. Teacher looked at me ( a LOOK), and I explained. She very tetchily said it was in his bag, she'd put it there. I was a bit embarrasssed that I hadn't checked as I had just believed ds, so apologised adn told ds off for not telling me. Teacher then flew off on one, saying 'it doesn't surprise me, this class is absolutely useless at their personal skills, I'm up to here with them'. I was stunned, but apologised again and left quickly. I've been really cross ever since though - I feel awful that she might be getting cross with them over basically being 4! I know we've both been used to a full time day nursery which is much more loving and caring and homelike (though as big as his class virtually), but still...I keep telling myself she was probably just tired at the end of a long day, and probably doesn't snap at the kids like that, and that she IS a teacher not a nursery nurse... but I wanted to check out with people on mumsnet what you thought. What should a 4 year old be able to do for themselves, and should I help him in any particular ways? He is toilet trained and can dress himself, so I thought i was doing quite well!

Miranda

Of course you are doing well! What an awful thing for you to experience. I know that we expect a lot of reception teachers, but honestly! To say that in front of your son too!

Our school is fairly easy going, and encourages parents to do lots of the jobs for children (or teachers, depending on whose job organising book bags/water bottles/lunch money etc should be), but I too have been shocked by just how grown up they expect a 4 year old to be. My ds1 came unstuck on a school trip last summer, when they were encouraged to pop to the loo in groups of 4 for a quick visit after lunch. He didn't have time to get himself organised before the other three were finished, and as a result had a (very messy) accident on the way to the bus - his first ever 'accident'. The teachers hadn't even taken a spare set of clothes with them so he had to be mopped up as best as they could and sent home in a terrible state! I was furious and never again assume that the teachers know how to look after a 4 year old. I wish they all had to spend a week at a day nursery now and then, being reminded of what children really need.

I think reception kids need lots of hugs at home and lots of praise for how they cope with getting through the school day.

Thanks! You're right - I'll make a point of praising him for managing at school. I have noticed him regressing a bit (pretending to be a baby, saying he can't take his shoes off at the end of the day because 'his arms don't work') but I'd assumed it was a reaction to having ds2 - but I guess it could just as much be a reaction to having to suddenly grow up a lot during the day. My poor little poppet!

I thought they didn't go to 'school' till they were 5?

Miranda, What an unsympathetic remark! Poor you - let's hope she doesn't talk like that in front of the children. They are only 4 or just 5 and I think being toilet trained and dressing themselves is about all you should expect. I think it sounds as if too much is expected of the children in JonesTheSteam's DD's class too. Luckily DS2's teacher gets them quite organised and is happy for parents to go in to help find missing objects ec.
Miranda, my DS is also regressing somewhat and has rediscovered a love for the Teletubbies and Spot. He was Baby Batman at breakfast and when I told him he could feed himself, he said I'd got him muddled up with Toddler Batman!

tracyk - in the county we live in the children start reception the school year they are 5 - DD is 5 in Feb, but is friendly with another girl (in her reception class) who won't be 5 until the middle of next August!!

miranda - can't believe the teacher spoke to you like that!!!!

DD's teacher told me on parents' evening that she'd never had a reception class who were so quick at changing for PE, and who needed so little help. DD is very good at dressing herself, though does struggle a little with buttons. But I still think it's a lot for them to remember everything they are supposed to do / bring home / hand in etc.

I agree with you verytiredmum - I think they deserve a lot of hugs at home for what they are coping with in school - it's a very long day for them (even longer for the 'younger' ones) and DD is absolutely shattered some days when she gets home (and is horribly stroppy and bad-tempered, but I try to just bite my tongue!)

singersgirl - we are allowed to go in and look for missing objects e.g. if DD has left her cardigan in the classroom, I am allowed to go in after school and look for it with her.

But we are not allowed to go in and help with coats, hats, gloves etc. in the cloakroom, and are not allowed in to the classroom either in the morning (when at least I could make sure her dinner money gets handed in!)

When DD walked to the school in the snow last Friday, I did make a point of going in to the cloakroom to help her with changing out of her wellies into her school shoes - don't think I was very popular with the teachers were on duty in the cloakroom that morning!!!!

When my dd was in reception class the parents went into the classroom in the mornings to make sure they were all sorted out. For the whole year! Of course you had to be there early enough for this so you didn't disrupt once the day was started but it was nice. The teacher and TA were always there and available for a quick chat about any worries which made for a relaxed atmosphere rather than having to make an appointment each time. They seemed to understand that reception was a big deal for the mums as well as the kids.

I thought everyone did this. Now I realise I was really lucky

Going to the loo and washing hands and a bit of an effort at changing clothes is all we expect of 4 year olds. My own dd2 is in my class (she's 4.5) and she can't completely dress and undress herself !

My 4 year old (august baby) can take his book bag in, but the TA always sorts out reading books, puts letters in the bags etc..

PE is a bit of a trauma, he often comes home with his trousers on the wrong way round. Which is ok, but one day he came home with his jumper on the wrong way round and I felt mortified for him. He is getting better though still finds the socks a little difficult.

Kaz - my six year old is a master at putting on clothes every which way. But as he really doesn't care how he looks it is me that gets embarrassed! Our school lines up in the playground in the morning, and sends them out one at a time (the littlies come out in a little flock to "their" playground). Parents are not aloowed past reception in any case. Doesn't seem to cause any great issues, but I think they are quite caring, so they seem to (in general) be fine.

Thanks nooka - he is a little sensitive soul though and finding PE challenging.

My ds2 has come out of school twice with his P.E kit on under his uniform Not sure if he just 'forgot' or couldnt be bothered to get changed properly. Once he came out with his P.E shorts on under his back to front trousers. He didnt care a jot!

Don't think anyone helps them get changed, they are expected to do it all themselves - which is fine , but sometimes they need a little help.