Oh, I'm sooo fed up with worrying about schools...

[minko]

We moved house recently mainly to improve our chances with state education. Our kids are now going to a 'good' primary school and we have our sights set on the 'outstanding' secondary school in the area.

But it turns out we might be marginally out of catchment for the secondary school and said school might be dropping our primary school as a feeder anyway.Our son would only be moving up in 3 years and lots can change in that time I know...

I'm just so fed up with worrying about it. Why does it get to me so much?? I know we all want what's best for our children. The state system seems to be such a lottery though. Wish we could afford private...

Private is a bit of a lottery too, if that's any consolation. Not all private schools are good, and not all private schools, however academically excellent, are good for every child.

I had a friend whose attitude to life was permanently damaged by one of those most prestigious private schools in the country: he had great ability which he deliberately chose never to use because school had been such a grim experience- he basically spent his life bumming around. I think I did much better out of my bog standard comp tbh: at least it left me with the determination to make the most of any opportunity that comes my way.

Dd is not at an outstanding secondary (though a very nice one) and she had a very rought time at junior school; in addition, she has severe health problems which keep her off school for weeks on end. She still seems to have a very good attitude towards learning, far better than ds who has had a much easier ride.

Which all goes to suggest that there is only so much we can do to shape our children's future; life is a lottery.

I agree, that at the end of the day you will be what you're going to be no matter which school you go to. My husband and I both went to standard secondary schools. Mine was absolutely dire but I kept my head down and did pretty well. My son is struggling a bit though and I think that makes me slightly over-anxious about whether we are getting him the best education.

We live in a part of Surrey where education is just over-hyped. Ofsteds are everything and everyone is obsessed. Everyone parent in the town knows each schools' Ofsted off by heart. I am just sick of it. We moved away from an area where everyone was becoming Catholic to get into the best school in the area and now where we are it seems the norm to try and temporarily rent property closer to the schools to be in catchment.

It's a farce!

Maybe Ofsted should just abandon their reports, or not make them public anyway!

I understand where your coming from we put both of ours through prep till 13 and agonised for weeks/months/years over which schools they should move onto. Older DS has gone to a good state comp, younger DS will carry on in the independent sector, we've chosen the next school with care believing that it will meet his needs academically but will also provide him with so much more than that.

I went to an awful comp. the local one like all my friends no Ofsted reports, no league tables in those days just the nearest local school. I didn't do particularly well but now have a very good degree aquired three years ago but most interestingly people think I must have been educated privately because I know about art/classical music/ drama/literature/politics etc. None of this came from school a lot from my parents and the rest I've learnt myself.
My son at his very expensive prep was shocked to find that a friend had never heard of Ghandi, couldn't name one artist and new nothing about current affairs. Many schools both state and private are exam factories and in fairness to my sons prep he has just passed with flying colours the impossibly difficult entrance test for his next school. But I wish my children to by true Renaissance men and realise that it is my job to enable this to happen. In a few weeks we're of to the Miro exhibition, then Magritte I encourage them to read a "broadsheet" every day they're learning to fly fish and perhaps most important of all we talk about things war, economics, politics, food, sport, music all sorts of things.
Its us as parents who create the right environment for learning and an enquiring mind. I begin to think we're expecting too much of our schools, we as parents can and should provide a broad education that I believe is so important if we are to become more rounded and thus happier people.

happygardening I absolutely agree that our children's education should be our responsibility and I take an (over) active interest in their developement.

However I do think which school they attend remains important, not least because they have to spend so many fliiping hours there.

I too attended a poor school and have 'succeeded'. However, my experience was not a happy one and I look back on it as so many wasted years. I'll be buggered if my own DC are going to suffer the same fate.

I suppose what I'm saying is that for me the choice of my DC's school was uber important. Not because I fear they will fail elsewhere, I don't. My reasons are more to do with how they get to where they are going if that makes sense.

Closer to the time why don't you just rent in the catchment area for the secondary?

www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/education/article6037113.ece

If it helps, OFSTED reports are usually a load of bollocks