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Education

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Original poster

How can I make this a positive move for dd?

10 replies

givequicheachance · 13/04/2011 17:36

Dd is 5.

We do not live in UK.

She has had a lot of moves in her short life. Some good, some less good.

She is currently very, very happy in a new nursery.

Decent schools are very hard to get into where we now live, and I have been trying to get her into a school which would be great for her. The waiting lists are hilariously long, and I had resigned myself to the idea of her missing year one but joining the school at the start of year two. As I said, she is happy at nursery and could have stayed there for another year. She is delighted with this idea and talks excitedly about moving up into the next class. This idea of continuity is important to her, and something she has never been a part of.

However.

Against all expectations, she has been offered a place at SuperSchool.

If I turn it down she may never get another place there, and will end up having to leave her nursery in 18 months anyway, to go to an inferior school.

Also, lovely though nursery is, she is not learning much. Not to belittle making friends and having a lovely time at her age.

I am thrilled that she can go to the big school. It is so right for her. But because it was so unlikely I have let her get excited about staying at nursery.

Now I have to tell her that she can't stay after all.

How would you put it to her? Hw can I make it a positive and exciting thing to be going to this lovely new school?

This is long to try to offset the pots saying "ahh, just leave her where she is". I want to, but big picture it would not do her favours.

OP posts:

diabolo · 13/04/2011 18:05

She's 5 - she will easily adjust.

At that age, going to a new school is exciting enough in itself and the positives will soon start to show.

You're the parent, do what you feel is right long-term.

ZombieComforts · 13/04/2011 18:12

move her. She's 5. She'll adjust :)

2BoysTooLoud · 13/04/2011 18:13

If she is like my 5 year old ds you may get screams and tears. However that sounds like something you may have to go through.
When does she start the new school? Can she visit it to have a look? Does she know children who go there? Maybe there is a way you can dripfeed the new school to her positively. If she does not start new school for a while [September?] may be able to do this in a gradual fashion? Good luck!

KatharineClifton · 13/04/2011 18:16

Tell her how lucky she is. And that the school chose her as she's so great. Stuff like that.

Original poster

givequicheachance · 13/04/2011 19:39

Sorry, my op was rambly and unclear; we will definitely be moving her, there is no question about that.

And I agree that of course she will adjust, but before the adjusting and settling in I have to let her down about staying in a place she loves and believed she would be staying at, and then tell her she is going to yet another big new school.

I was just looking for thoughts on how to 'sell' the idea to her I suppose.

I don't think she will scream and cry. That is not how she tends to deal with things.

I also think if I sell it too hard she will kick against it.

Actually, I don't know what I am asking. Never mind.

OP posts:

Original poster

givequicheachance · 13/04/2011 19:40

Katharine. I like your ideas. Will try that.

OP posts:

neversaydie · 13/04/2011 20:46

Will she be staying at the new school for a reasonable length of time? For various reasons, we had to move DS in P3, and again at the end of P5. We sold the second move on the basis of the new school being absolutely wonderful (which it is) and also that once moved he could stay there for the rest of his school career. If he had stayed put at school two, he would have had to move to senior school at the end of P7 anyway (we are in Scotland, which goes P1-P7 in primary then S1 to S6).

Given the choice at the time, he would have stayed put at school two, but he loves the new school now - and accepts that it has been far better for him educationally.

KatharineClifton · 13/04/2011 21:56

Great :)

It worked for my childrens vaccinations. Of course I told them it would hurt - but not for long - and they felt very lucky and privileged that they were allowed them. And were really quite chuffed.

Of course it doesn't work as they get older...

washedup · 13/04/2011 23:33

If it were my dd, what would work would be getting her excited about the uniform. (I hope yours is nice...) If so, buy some now. Put it on her. Tell her how amazing it looks. Talk about the head teacher and tell your child her name and all the lovely things this head teacher organises for the children. Tell her what yummy food they offer for lunch. Show her pictures of happy children on the school website. Tell her about the annual school trip to the local xyz place that reception children go to. Make it very personal to her, so it feels like "her" school already.

sarahfreck · 14/04/2011 13:36

Talk about how the Superschool has "big" children's classes too and so will be best for her as Nursery doesn't and she is getting to be a "big girl"? Does the Superschool have a bigger/playground/play equipment you could use as a selling point. ie Nursery only has toys and games for little children, Superschool has big children's toys too!

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