teachers - fess up, what are your parent evening euphemisms!

[fullmoonfiend]

Hello teachers - just been having a wry smile at an article in the Times 2 section today about parents' evenings and what teachers really mean when they say ( for example) 'a bit lively' = a real pain. Eager to please = won't stop hassling me. As our parents' eveing is looming next week, and I recognised a few examples in my own children, I just wondered what you 'tactfully' say if a particular child is awful. Or do you tell the truth! (but only of the parents' are smaller than you or you're near a door for a swift exit)

Lovable rogue = bloody naughty, never shuts up, calls out but does it with such a grin on his (it is a boy, right?) face that you somehow can't help liking him when you should be annoyed. Can be told off by you one day and helping to carry stuff up stairs for you the next - never holds a grudge. (I have a few of these boys and I always secretly quite like them, because they've got personality!)

My sons grade three teacher went on and on about how he wouldn't shut up and also got all the "Quiet" kids around him talking as well.
His grade four teacher got him into public speaking and said
"He is gifted in the area of Language"

Obviously Mrs Grade four is an excellent teacher.... and a glass half full person...

For DS we always get, he's very very quiet in class. Then, his written work and exam results are extraordinary...which we take to mean, I barely take any notice of him and thought he was probably a bit thick but, bloody hell, he isn't.

DD gets, she's a real character and contributes a lot in class, just needs to concetrate a little more on her written work. LOL.

So what does "energizes others" mean

Energises others means not only does he talk/play up all the time, but gets the rest of the class joining in.

Whips em up into a frenzy?

what about the shock and surprise when a teacher finds out DD2 is DD1's sister, followed by a stunned silence and 'oh. they are different aren't they'?
DD1 is good, sweet and nice. DD2 isn't.

At a parents' evening a couple of years ago, the teacher told me that she'd been very grateful for all the advice DS2 had given her re what mortgage provider she should use. (DS2 is Dyspraxic/slightly AS - he has his little obsessions :o). I could just imagine it - DS2 would have been wanting to discuss mortgage providers with her on a twice-daily basis - she must have been ready to kill him.

I enjoy parents evening from the parental side, as I feel some of the teachers at ds's school are lazy (international school with large churn), and I enjoy skewering them when they trot out their euphemisms, as I know what they mean.

I am particularly looking forward to next week, when ds's second language teacher tells me he has a low grade to his lack of vocab. Mmm, who taught him and set bog all homework in Year 7 and 8 then when the basics of the language should have been drummed in?

I am getting pretty used to the 'very lively, very articulate, outgoing, loves to share her ideas' kind of comments. Mind you, until I had the stupid idea of checking the real meaning in MN, I really thought they were all really positive

Ignorance is a bliss

I don't , I call a spade a spade.

'Painstaking' - has got grade B for her coursework because she's willingly done 3 drafts of each piece. Will be bloody lucky to scrape a C overall, as too fundamentally dim to pass exams, but fingers crossed, eh?

'Is forging ahead' - has plagiarised all his coursework...

I told one parent at parents' evening that her son needed to work on his punctuation.

The boy was highly indignant the next morning in class: "It's not fair! I haven't been late once this term!"

Not backward in coming forwards=won't shut the f*ck up.

'energetic', 'lively' and 'enthusiastic' = 'won't sit still and a PITA'
'enthusiastic practical worker' or 'enjoys the practical element of the subject' = 'does that practical work but does sod all written work'
'participates well in class' = 'won't shut up'

really amicissima - I can't imagine ever saying that at parents evening! Even if the child is doing well I still think it's important to praise the areas they work well in and give some kind of area they can improve in/work on even if they are the delight of the class.

am secondary so we tend to be a bit more - umm - to the point so to speak?! if they need to shut up and work with more focus in lessons i'll usually go for 'needs to settle down at the start of lessons, stop being distracted and distracting others and get on with the task in hand'. a bit more polite but i think it gets the message across...! problem is, by this stage if the kid is a real pain their parents wont be anyhwere to be seen at parents evening. sigh.

My DS1 was described as having a "quiet sense of humour" and that "he doesn't say much" and that he was "reflective before speaking in class" and that he "likes to really work out what he's going to say before he says it..." etc etc...in other words my child never answers any questions at school evidently!!!!

I'm looking forward to ds's this week. A week and a half ago he was behind in all areas. As of Friday he had caught up completely. If he progresses at this rate I assume he'll be applying to university by the summer! He is in year 2.

I'm afraid I'm one of those parents who tackles euphemisms and expects plain speaking.

I'm looking forward to DD!'s next week - first contact at new school (they call it 'target setting evening' not 'parents' evening' so we'll see.
DD seems very happy at the school is getting lots of merits [hmm} house system, Hogwarts anyone? and had a school 'good news' postcard at half term saying she has settled in well and was working hard. It'll be interesting to see if the latter means 'she's thick but tries hard' or if it's genuine (cynical moi?) as she is in all the top sets...