talking to your four old about sex

[devonshiredumpling]

please help my four year old has just started to ask THOSE questions need some advice of what to say to him and how

I would just answer the question as simply and truthfully as possible. He doesn't need huge amounts of info at the moment, just be guided by him. I am currently expecting DC2 and have bought "Mummy laid an Egg" for DS (5) which suits me and my way of doing things although it scandalises others.

I found it hard to work out how much detail and what details he wanted to know so I gave one sentence answers and had him ask me for more details if he was ready to know more so I could tailor my answers to his interests.

For example, my 4 year old asked about periods a year ago and he was interested in finding out whether it was painful (as blood=pain in his world), whether or not men go it and where tampons go. Later on I will fill in the gaps with more biology.

I have a 4 year old son and the facts that he knows about sex are

Sex is done between adults
People can be straight or gay
Daddy puts his penis into mummy during sex
Sex makes a baby

Crazy, that's about the right level for 4, IMHO. I especially like point 2!

I haven't tackled homosexuality at all yet, nor recreational sex generally, if you see what you mean ie is all procreative only in DSs world. For my eldest (8) I think I need to tackle this (I only realised about a year and a half ago that he thought it was physically impossible without being married, which revelation was outed during a discussion of Henry VII and his illegitimate sons). I do find the whole social side so much harder than the mechanical and genetic.
DS2 (5 years) when thinking about the whole DNA-mixing aspect (an area of interest for him) thoughfully commented that "you'd need a very long clever flexible tube to get the sperm into the Mummy" - presumably this would pretty well sumarise most chap's view of their penis!

My dd started asking at 4 (she's now 6), and as I couldn't face it on my own we got 'Mummy laid an Egg' from the library. We read it a few times, dd asked a few questions, and she hasn't really mentioned it since. I think it's a great book and have recommended it to many others!
I have the added problem that dd has never met her Dad because 'he didn't want to be a Daddy' (true!), and we weren't ever married, so any vagueness about special cuddles and babies as a result of marrying don't work. It's straight to the basics.

DS age 4 wanted to know how babies get out more than he wanted to know how they get in (As it were) .He was wondering if they came out with wee or poo!

a chat about chickens laying eggs ( we live in teh sticks, he's familiar with chickens) and the extra hole that women have ( but men don't) sorted that out. He also knows that he didn't get born the normal way, he had to be helped out by a Dr cutting a hole in my tummy.

At least we've improved on my grandmother, who, in 1920, at the age of 20, didn't know how babies were born. Whether she knew how she was pregnant I have no idea. The Daily Wail readers who rail against sex ed for kids should think about that one!

Another vote for "Mummy Laid an Egg." I had it lying around in the bookcase and my 4yo discovered it recently. She hadn't showed any interest in sex yet; all she knew before that was that babies grow inside mummies and how they are born, and she's seen animals mating and knows that has something to do with the babies being born! It was a good level for her. She hasn't asked any questions but has asked for the book several times because she likes the humour at the beginning.

Mummy laid an egg is good. My little one started asking just before 4. I waited til reception to get the book out - but its really a great age because they're so matter of fact about it all. As they're so young, they can't imagine themselves having sex so its all purely factual.
He did want to see the hole that the baby comes out of though and I found explaining why he couldn't quite difficult.