My son started high school in september and is now in the process of being diagnosed and statemented...apparently had high function autism/aspergers and adhd. At home and out of school he is generally fine. If he is stressed, big routine changes etc his behaviour deteriorates and he hides things and steals.
In school he hums and sings, loses concentration and drives his teachers mad. He finds it hard to organise and leaves a trail of pens, calculator etc (that I regularly replace). He is academically bright though.
I have been to several meetings at school about his behaviour but after things are agreed in these meetings they dont happen. School just forget or even decide not to. He is under the microscope now and every thing he does is noticed while kids doing similar go unpunished.
School ring me at work about things. I have asked they dont unless it is an emergency as I can not take calls in work. They called me as it was "a health and safety emergency,the sole of his shoe was coming away from the upper. could I collect him immediately" after refusing to get him as I was in work, they eventually suggested he could have it glued to get through the day!
Another time they rang saying he had been badly behaved and left school. A staff member had seen him leave. They had no idea where he was. I left work and at school was given no further information by a secretary who then shut the window to terminate the conversation. I was left in bits trying to work out what to do. About to ring the police, my son arrived with year head...turns out he had had a great afternoon with her, and not been out of school at all- never mind having been bad and run out!
On the other side although he has a get out of class pass, meaning he can leave a class if he feels the need, they refused several times to let him leave a classroom, causing him to soil himself! Not only did they not ring me to get him then, he was offered no clean/dry clothing and washed his pants and trousers as best he could and was left in wet faeces-smelling clothes until the end of school!
I am starting to think they are being really unfair to him, and to me (I have twice had to leave jobs because of the volume of calls I get from them being seen as "unprofessional". They arent doing the things agreed to support him, and punish him for doing the things they know he struggles with. They ring about petty things but dont ring when it would be obvious to.
Are they just making mistakes? Or am I being over sensitive that they could be trying to push him out/make life so difficult that I take him out? They talk down to me when I go in, misrepresent things I say ( I now take a witness to meetings) and seem very focussed on getting funding for him. Is it cynical that I am starting to think they have a vested interest in him appearing unmanagable as they can get money then?
Interesting that out side of school his behaviour is generally such that he attracts praise!
I am in the process of putting these things in writing to the school